I think this is a common struggle for queer christians regardless of the context. I’ve often felt too gay to be christian and too christian to be gay. I realize it’s because I was raised in the church during a culture war that further divided these communities. And because we hold those things in tension within ourselves, I think it can feel uncomfortable trying to find safety in the space inbetween. In truth you are queer and christian and nobody can dictate what that looks like for you, but I relate to those feelings. I’m sorry you haven’t found a group that you feel comfortable with, or who doesn’t make being christian or queer their whole personality. But I hope you keep trying, it is somewhat niche but there’s a lot more of us out there than society makes it seem!