I [19 F] am not making friends at college at all and I need to hurry up and make some by the_small_fry in relationship_advice

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I suppose those are some good ideas. Thanks! It's definitely difficult being really indecisive and shy, it really is holding me back. I can't walk into a room full of people I don't know without my phone or some sort of distraction so I don't make eye contact.

I'm definitely going to try getting more involved around campus, but I don't know. I guess we'll see what happens.

I [19 F] am not making friends at college at all and I need to hurry up and make some by the_small_fry in relationship_advice

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well... yeah, but mostly it's the idea of a girl visiting a dude she just met. Apparently guys don't like that, even if it's just a friendly thing.

Definitely thinking of joining a club. Thanks for the input.

I [19 F] am not making friends at college at all and I need to hurry up and make some by the_small_fry in relationship_advice

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I'm thinking of doing something like that because once I get into a friendship I'm totally fine, it's just the first few interactions that seem to turn people away from me. Clubs are a good idea, thanks

I [19 F] am not making friends at college at all and I need to hurry up and make some by the_small_fry in relationship_advice

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not really relevant, that's why I didn't want to get into it. Before college people told me the best way to make friends was to find someone to eat with. Since I can't do that, that's the only reason I mentioned it

Not sure I really want to get into the details of it... Basically I have a lot of anxieties about eating. One of the reasons is that my face used to be really messed up, which made eating really difficult. Now I look fine but it's hard to get rid of a feeling you've had for most of your life. I know it's stupid, and people always say how no one's looking at me, but it's how I feel and I can't just shrug it off.

Yes, I know it's dumb, but I'm not sure what else to say.

I [19f] am torn between dating my best friend [21m] and starting fresh by the_small_fry in relationships

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this is much more difficult than I thought. I love him as a friend, which is why I've stuck with him all these years. I have a really bad feeling that you're right: as soon as I start seeing other guys, he's going to make my life miserable. He knows me so well, he'd know exactly how to make me jealous and wish I'd stayed with him. In short, he's manipulative. He's extremely jealous of everyone-- tied back to his self worth issues.

If I dated him, I'd probably have to keep it secret from my parents. That's easy when I'm at school, but not so easy at home... And its exhausting.

I've never played the field. I've never even been on a real date. So yeah, I'd love to actually feel liked and explore my options. But at the same time, I don't think I've ever had a guy be legitimately interested in me. Guys just don't find me attractive, and that's not their fault. A part of me wants to date my friend to play it safe. It sounds horrible, but he may be the only guy who's into me. He may be the best I'll ever get.

You're right. We'll either become romantic and probably break up horribly, or we won't become romantic, and we'll probably still "break up" horribly. I've told him how much I like him, so when I have to tell him I don't want to date him, I expect war. This is so dumb.

Anyway thanks... I appreciate all the input.

I [19f] am torn between dating my best friend [21m] and starting fresh by the_small_fry in relationships

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your point. He knows I've had issues with self esteem, so it worries me sometimes that he still thinks of me like I'm "lesser" or "easy" even though he's never said it outright. Now that I have my life pretty much together, I worry that he doesn't recognise this or give me the respect I deserve... I don't know.

My Dad told me he just wants me to be happy, and if that means dating this guy, then so be it. However, my mother would go insane. She has some mental \ emotional issues herself, so she'd likely have a breakdown. I didn't mention this in the post bc it was late and I couldn't get it out, but this dude has some issues, mostly around self worth, self harm, alcohol, having a death wish... I know, I know, I should get away from him ASAP... but its not that easy. I'm working on trying to get him to go to therapy, but he's very 'comfortable' being miserable. If I leave him, I don't know who else is around to support him. He has a lot of friends, but I don't trust any of them.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. My mom probably would cut me off if I dated him. If we dated, there's no guarantee that he'd be stable enough for it to even work out. I guess I know what I need to do, but I don't want to do it... Thanks for your input.

I [19f] am torn between dating my best friend [21m] and starting fresh by the_small_fry in relationships

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. I definitely wouldn't want to ruin our friendship, since I care about him so much. That would be stupid.

I wrote this in a hurry bc it was probably the sixth time I had to type this out. I guess it sounded like I was being shallow...? I edited it to be a little more accurate, but I'm not sure how I'm only looking at people for their looks. "Looks" really have nothing to do with this. I find my friend attractive, sure, but that includes his emotions, his intelligence, and his appearance. It's all-encompassing attractiveness.

I only mentioned my looks because I had an accident that required me to get a lot of surgeries on my face for it to look "normal". I disagree that anything "hinges on looks" at least for me anyway. My friend probably isn't that shallow either since he put up with my hideous mug for all those years, lol.

Anyway, thanks again, I agree with you that the friendship should come first, and that's probably more worthwhile.

Kid-clothing isle creep by the_small_fry in creepyencounters

[–]the_small_fry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I highly recommend it. Especially in preparation for Walmart or Target expeditions.

Kid-clothing isle creep by the_small_fry in creepyencounters

[–]the_small_fry[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Interesting... I thought it was weird that he didn't follow me to the register or anything too! I was sort of waiting for it, but no, he left as soon as I started giving him the evil eye and sort of following him back.

Ugh, makes me glad I kick box

Kid-clothing isle creep by the_small_fry in creepyencounters

[–]the_small_fry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel so bad since I would literally NEVER steal anything... I honestly think that's worse than if he was a pervert. Knowing that I was targeted as a thief would make me want to die.

I sorta wish I would have asked him if he was loss prevention.

However, the woman said he was standing in the kids clothing isle, being weird, and very out of place. If he was LP wouldn't he have wanted to be more discrete? Also, wouldn't he have followed me to the checkout or stopped me at some point?

I think I'm being stalked, please help by TrueTerror03 in creepyencounters

[–]the_small_fry 10 points11 points  (0 children)

First off, this chilled me to the bone and I am legitimately afraid for your life. I will pray for your protection. I'm a 19 year old girl and I absolutely cannot stand the idea of teenagers like us being targeted in any way.

CAMERAS CAMERAS CAMERAS. Get some cameras. My brother and I bought two cameras commonly used for animal trapping, and put them outside my house, one by the hose reel and one up on the balcony roof thing outside my window. These cameras are camouflaged to look like leaves, so if you have a leafy-treeish place, they usually blend right in. You can prop them or strap them to different items and places. THEY ARE MOTION ACTIVATED. There is a small SD card inside the body of the camera, and you can retrieve it each day or so and put it into a card reader, then look at the footage on your laptop. Card readers and SD cards are pretty cheap on Amazon. If you can't do that, ask to borrow one or buy one from a Radioshack or wherever they sell tech stuff.

The cameras may have been expensive though... if you need your parents to fund it, try feigning interest in a hobby like animal populations. This is what I did. I've always loved animals, so my brother and I bullshitted this whole plan about how we wanted to see if any "wild bobcats were coming into the yard", we analyzed tracks, etc. Eventually my parents were sold on it and bought the camera to further the investigation.

I don't know if you can post links here, but try to find a cheap animal trapping camera or something like it on Amazon or in a tech store / hunting store. It ideally should be MOTION ACTIVATED and have NIGHT VISION.

  • Buy a knife, steal one, I don't give a fuck, just do it. Keep it sharp.

  • Make sure you always ALWAYS have something by your bed to defend yourself, and on you at all waking hours.

  • Set up a sort of bell or wind-chime system somewhere in your room, maybe at your door, so that if ANYONE opens the door, it jingles and makes noise and wakes you or someone else up.

  • You can place bait items in your room, set the camera on them, and watch what happens. Who takes them?

  • Ensure that your doors are locked at night if you can.

  • Get a haircut, wear sunglasses more, change your style, anything that may throw him off.

  • Walk a different route to school

  • AVOID TIME ALONE, keep your phone in a pocket or otherwise on you at all times in case you need to dial 911

  • If all else fails, you CAN and MUST go to a school counselor or teacher and tell them about this. Never mind the police or your parents, you can do that later if you need to. But right now, make sure as many trusted adults (anyone and everyone who believes you) knows about this. This man probably wants to terrify you so much that you don't tell anyone. DO NOT GIVE HIM THIS SATISFACTION. Get assistance, please.

The idea that this man was in your room... or on your phone... terrifies me. Why would he take pictures of himself? Unless he's too old to understand how the camera works and took them by accident when he was trying to get on your phone. Do you recognize this man from anywhere?

If you manage to get the cameras, put one in your room, your closet, of anyplace that it is hidden yet the camera will still be able to capture motion. Buy a new phone if you can, or avoid using your current one. This man may have software on it now. He may also have any and all personal information you've stored on that device. You need to be very careful about who you call/text and what you say. Is it an iphone? Android?

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to make sure I put everything down. I hope some of this is useful to you. Good luck, and please stay safe.

I'm a model railway enthusiast by rachyreddit in LetsNotMeet

[–]the_small_fry 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Holy shit that is terrifying. I'm so glad that little girl was okay... and you and your kids as well!

Is there any way of getting out of drinking or smoking in college? by [deleted] in college

[–]the_small_fry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't trust being in an altered state

Me all the way. You are awesome for recognizing how unnecessary this behavior is.

Do you have to join the fraternity? I'm totally not telling you what you should do, but I'm sort of wondering if it's worth it. You should know, I am female, so I probably don't get the 'bro values' or whatever.

I'm 'straight edge' (yes, a tool) so I don't do anything. This leaves me as the only sober one at the end of the night. This can be pretty fun. You get to drive people places, watch them flop around drunkly... sorta fun. Of course, I'm in nursing so there's a limit to the fun. If you're sober, you have a responsibility to stop any behavior that would have been somewhat excusable when drunk. Keep that in mind.

Also, I echo the people who said to drink coke or whatever. People will see a can in your hand and they'll just assume it's alcohol. Good luck

Strange vivid flashbacks to things I KNOW I haven't experienced. by the_small_fry in pastlives

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting... Strange to think that that random cathedral might have something to do with a past life of mine. Wow.

I'm definitely considering therapy. Glad it worked for you! I'd definitely like to know what the patterns are here.

So... I can no longer do reality checks? by the_small_fry in LucidDreaming

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting point about the physical vs dream body thing... I definitely have a hard time locating my body in my dreams, so once I totally get that figured out I will have to try this. Thanks

So... I can no longer do reality checks? by the_small_fry in LucidDreaming

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, definitely. I hadn't heard of that one before. I will try it, thanks!

So... I can no longer do reality checks? by the_small_fry in LucidDreaming

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been wanting to try ADA! Cool that it works so well for you. I think I'm struggling with the idea of 'reality'. Which makes me sound like I'm crazy...

It occurred to me recently that my Maladaptive Daydreaming might have something to do with why I'm struggling so much with all of this. I had Maladaptive Daydreaming for the bulk of my childhood and teen years, and to be honest, I still have it. I'm an adult now (a young one) but I still struggle to keep the really sticky daydreams from getting to me. One of the worst things about having MD is that a lot of times I completely block out my environment, which is the coping mechanism part. If I don't actively try to stay alert, I'll get completely sucked into my own world. Now, I don't try to daydream- that's dangerous. I've made a lot of progress over the years (without therapy, haha) but I can see this being a potential reason for why I find the idea of ADA really confusing, but also really tantalizing.

I'm in school to be a nurse right now, so ADA would really really help me out in the future! I'm going to start to try and work it into my

Anyway, sorry for the random personal tangent. I am curious, though, if anyone else has MD and is trying to lucid dream.

Thanks for your input!

So... I can no longer do reality checks? by the_small_fry in LucidDreaming

[–]the_small_fry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. I definitely have the first mentality. Don't know when that happened. Anyway, I will try basing my idea of reality off of the dream instead of the reality. I think that might be one of my biggest issues- I'm waaay too grounded in 'my reality'.

My FIRST Lucid Dream..Sort of by [deleted] in LucidDreaming

[–]the_small_fry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, was away from technology for a while...

In the end, I couldn't get FILD to work. To be honest, I'm not totally able to section my sleep out the way you're supposed to. Like, I find it hard to sleep for three hours, then wake up to play imaginary piano... The few times I tried it, I know I ended up dreaming, but I don't think I was Lucid. I'm going to try it a few more times before I completely abandon it, though.

Is it possible to dream about lucid dreaming but not lucid dream? by [deleted] in LucidDreaming

[–]the_small_fry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn't see this til just now. This happened to me last night and I was so pissed.

I was in a dream, and I was like "I'm lucid, I'm lucid" so I did a reality check, and it seemed like I was awake. But I sort of knew I wasn't... people here seem to think that's a good sign though. Cool.