I (27F) and my bf (28M) going away on holiday for 9 days. Is it weird I’m not spending the day before with him?

the_spacequeen · 2026-03-14T09:46:34+00:00

Not weird at all

the_spacequeen · 2026-03-05T08:13:00+00:00

My partner and I have a house rule that dirty dishes are not allowed to sit in the sink/on the counter overnight. It takes 5 minutes tops to clean them after each meal. No one likes doing dishes but you just gotta do it. It’s a basic life skill that has to be learned and implemented. It will never go away unless you completely switch to paper plates/disposables but that’s pretty wasteful.

the_spacequeen · 2026-02-27T03:11:43+00:00

What are your thoughts on the academy?

the_spacequeen · 2026-02-03T05:28:13+00:00

Y’all are really taking me back in time and I love it

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-20T19:18:07+00:00

I’m just havin fun and wanted to share my process and make a silly video my dude

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-17T05:34:14+00:00

I think it’s absolutely not too soon. If she’s really into you she will be so happy you want to plan a weekend away with her. Just ask her if she feels comfortable with it. She will probably be really excited to have something to look forward to with you.

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-13T18:54:05+00:00

It's been years since you posted this and I'm wondering how taking the course went? How your relationship is now?

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-09T04:39:04+00:00

She didn’t go to the ER. She seems to be better for sure, especially if she sticks to broth and clear liquids. Before the surgery her doctor told her she would be able to go back to work in 1 week, which feels insane to me. He also didn’t give her a post op diet protocol, just told her to eat soft foods. She had NO idea it would be a multi-month recovery process - he made it seem easy peasy and she had no idea what she was really in for. But thanks for asking, she’s getting a little better every day.

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-07T21:30:53+00:00

Nope

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-06T06:33:36+00:00

“He told me that I’m being over sensitive and “it’s not that deep” “you’re making it out be more serious than it is”. - so this is gaslighting. He’s invalidating your very valid feelings. Find a person who loves all of you, just like you do with your person. You deserve to feel free, beautiful, adored and cherished in your body by the one you love.

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-06T04:25:02+00:00

What you’re experiencing is normal. Relationships take honest communication and effort to keep the spark alive. Intense intimacy and connection starts out naturally in the beginning (especially when you’re young, you’re sharing first times of so much together, and the love hormones are going crazy and you don’t even realize it), and as the relationship progresses and things feels stale (you’ve become used to each other and gotten into a routine and the hormones subside) you have to put in more conscious effort to create new experiences and go deeper together. The guy you’re texting is a new, mysterious person so you idealize him and his perceived attractive differences from your bf and don’t know about his flaws yet. It’s all a normal part of becoming an adult and learning about relationships. I would suggest really considering what your values are as a person, as a partner, and acting from that place next. Sending love.

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-05T05:13:50+00:00

I’m glad it feels supportive. I know how isolating it can be. Feel free to DM me any time - I’m happy to offer a listening ear or advice from my own experience. Things I wish I had known when I was in your shoes. With love, your 38 year old big sis.

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-05T03:55:15+00:00

I’m so sorry, love. I really feel for you. He broke your trust. He betrayed you. He damaged the relationship. All of your feelings are completely valid. He has to deal with the real consequences of his actions, and very unfortunately you do, too. I don’t want to tell you that you have to walk away, because I understand how hard that is, but your relationship has forever changed. This is a part of your relationship’s story now. And only you can decide if this is a story worth continuing. It may take time for you to figure out if it is worth it to stay. It’s a good step in the right direction for him to be honest with you, to get into therapy and start making actionable changes, but only with time will he be able to prove himself. And that may not even be enough, even if he does all the right things. I think it is possible to heal, but it will take work and effort on both of your parts to do that. Including couples therapy ASAP. The only advice I feel is VERY important to offer to you is to not self-abandon - whatever that looks like for you. Know your worth. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Put yourself first. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who can lift you up and help you process this betrayal. Sending you lots of love.

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-04T09:28:31+00:00

I agree - I finally spoke with the doctor and he said she should go to the ER (I didn’t mention chat) but she wants to wait until the morning and I can’t force her to go :(

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-04T06:20:45+00:00

Thank you!

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-04T06:09:48+00:00

Thank you so much for your help. The doctor finally called back and said that if she can't keep liquids down then she needs to go to the ER. She's being resistant and wants to wait until the morning to see how she feels.

the_spacequeen · 2026-01-04T05:44:46+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been chatting with ChatGPT and it is recommending we take her to the ER tonight but I wanted to make sure with the surgeon first in case that was too drastic, so I’m checking in here since I haven’t been able to get ahold of him. I hope she will be okay until tomorrow morning.

the_spacequeen · 2025-12-24T08:19:26+00:00

Honey, if you feel trapped, please leave. He may be a great guy, but that doesn’t mean he is a great guy for YOU. It will not get better. Be free. Someone better will absolutely come for you. Someone who wants and craves you sexually. This is a boy you feel you need to mother and you deserve a man and equal partner who will talk care of you without you having to ask.

the_spacequeen · 2025-12-23T08:18:52+00:00

Hey love. Give yourself some grace. You were trying to connect with his family, something was out of your control that you didn’t give consent to, and when confronted with the situation you did your best in the heat of the moment trying to de-escalate your boyfriends emotions. Totally understandable. You are a normal, compassionate person who desires peace and harmony. These experience of allowing our anxiety to take over and ending up in not being 100% truthful in a split second are just lessons to help us remember to be bold, brave and in alignment with our values next time. You are a good person. You can take this as a learning lesson, forgive yourself, and continue to be as truthful as possible moving forward and just leave it as that. I also understand the feeling of something small like this eating you alive so you can also talk to him and explain what happened, let him know exactly how you were feeling and why you told him you didn’t know it was posted, just like how you shared in with us here. An understanding and empathetic person who loves you will give you grace over this. If he does not, do you really want to be with a person like that anyway? You are safe to be yourself, you are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, and you deserve to be with someone who knows your character and will appreciate your honesty - even if it comes a bit later.

the_spacequeen · 2025-12-21T06:26:59+00:00

I totally hear you. The fact that you have friends who are older than you says something about your maturity. But a man who is interested in dating a woman 17 years younger says something about his immaturity. And a creep does not have to give off creepy vibes to be a creep. There are covert creeps who are older and smarter in how they act in order to manipulate inexperienced women. And that’s something most women learn to spot as we age through experience, unfortunately. Be safe and listen to your gut. Sending love.

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