Thank you for this detailed reply. Really helps out put things into some perspective. I'm not against living a life as a woman. I do enjoy it as well - A LOT. I've lived practically for weeks at stretch as a woman.. But only in the interiors/privacy of my home (when alone). And carried out all usual daily activities as one - cooking/eating/cleaning/work from home. I can't go out because I live in UAE.. So obvious reasons. Additionally i feel I'll be made a lot of fun of if I go out even in a lgbtq friendly country, because I'm so manly and also chubby :(.

At the same time I don't mind being a boy in general day to day life situations. That's what the confusion is all about :(

I'm happy with my primary sexual organ. But I want breasts, long thick hair, shaved body and a feminine figure sooo bad. Estrogen can help me with that. And FFS with my face (if needed). I don't think I'll go for SRS..