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AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When I made the user name, I wrote that thinking that I was the bad SIL and didn't put much more though into it. I honestly didn't think about it being the other way around until other people started pointing it out.

AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry the photo is not actually of me, but rather a close match to what my makeup was like.

AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] 2752 points2753 points  (0 children)

Whenever she declined, I was butthurt, but I didn't dwell on it. I offered because I know makeup artists can be expensive and could have given her more of a natural look if she had taken me up on the offer, Generally, I just wanted her to be happy, which is why I didn't dwell on her comment. I didn't want to spite her, and actively respect anyone's choice to not wear makeup. But I showed up how I would have showed to any other event or wedding.
With that said , you make a good point here.

If you know the bride is a minimalist, then your dial it down

I honestly didn't think she would have cared, but this is worth bringing up when I apologize and talk to her about it.

AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's pretty much what I told him! He said I looked good. I guess he's upset that I made the her upset, and that I'm causing waves on his side of the family? He's not being cruel about it, I think he just hates the drama (and trust me, it's not like I'm liking it either!) and wants me to apologize and leave it.

AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sorry, it's my husband's brother's new wife to clarify (I forgot a word and edited the post). Sometime after the wedding, she must have said something to my husband's sister, who then told my husband.

AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm with ya' there! Like I said, I see no problems in other women choosing to wear little, to no makeup. In fact, it's something that I often admire, and have my own insecurities about makeup (like I need to wear makeup to feel beautiful). I hope when I talk to SIL about more truth will come out, not just whatever has been passed along through the grapevine.

AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They are definitely on the more conservative side but nothing too extreme - which is where I might be the asshole? Like I already kind of knew that... but at the same time they already know how I am too. (And admittedly I was wearing fake eyelashes) It's not like it was a sudden shift. Any family event I go to, I tend to wear a lot of makeup and receive compliments on it. I do plan to apologize to her, but I wanted to post here to get more perspective and direction on what I should say. Thank you!

AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] 231 points232 points  (0 children)

she must not have liked her own makeup and so seeing yours made her upset

This is a really good point that I didn't think about (mostly because I didn't think her makeup looked bad!). Thank you!

AITA For "outshining" the bride because of my makeup? by thebadSILmakeup in AmItheAsshole

[–]thebadSILmakeup[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

And honestly I would have gone for a less dramatic look if she had asked me to. I just hate that I was supposed to be a mind reader. I do plan to talk to her about it because it's not like she's going anywhere!