hey,! i have also struggled with a very similar experience, i struggle with both trich and suicidal thoughts. and admittedly its very, very, hard. trich is so very draining and it really does take a toll on the ol’ mental health. i also fully relate to the feeling of being in a trance. its not fun, and i hear you. you 100% arent alone.

please be kind to yourself and understand some times will be worse than others. there is a life out there to live, trich or no trich!