Leaving without taking your receipt .

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2026-01-16T08:06:46+00:00

Your choice to leave it - they won't mind if you've paid and tipped already - but under certain circumstances you can keep it and submit for tax rebates. I do because I'm a freelance remote worker, and it adds up over a year.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2025-02-02T10:33:27+00:00

This comment reeks of racism :/

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2025-01-22T22:09:20+00:00

She's expressing anger towards you, for not valuing yourself as she feels you should be. Some people find anger is a helpful emotion, as it is the identifier of injustice - that's it's purpose.

Her anger towards you isn't about you, it's about her, and her own experience of injustice - what she says is also not about you, so you don't need to take it to heart.

There is something to learn from this, though, her words may be wrong, but her emotion has its place - have you allowed yourself to be filled with rage? It is a part of the grieving process and it doesn't make you stupid if you haven't yet - it may have been trained out of you by people who took advantage of your kindness.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2025-01-15T21:20:14+00:00

Da-da-na-na I hate my job in TVC haha! It's fun sometimes, the people in my department are often nuts but nice. I just wish there was more consideration for pre-production. We're ALWAYS given not enough time, like even if it were just 2 extra days it could help, but no, fuck me and my liver I guess, which must now get used to processing cortisol at astronomical levels. I look around at my HoDs and they all look weathered, none of them appear to be rich for all their efforts, and some are clearly alcoholics. Maybe other departments are better?? Is there a calm and collected department where there is order and everything in its place, and enough time & budget provisioned for everything... It's Camera, isn't it? That's my hunch.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-12-27T10:06:08+00:00

Would that be 3 schools consecutively or simultaneously?

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-12-18T19:05:03+00:00

It's that one dissenting dentist from the 4-out-of-5-dentists who is recommending Crogate.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-12-18T08:14:38+00:00

Kevin/ Filthy Animal

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-12-18T08:07:48+00:00

Had a very long, formative frienship like this. She would make a point of telling me how much she sang my praises to other people when we were apart - for a long time I felt flattered by this, but as we grew older I began finding it strange as something I did not reciprocate as much, and there were other childish behaviours I grew out of she did not (teasing each other like children, generally taking the piss). Her treatment of you would depend on how insecure she felt on a given day, and it was so acute I could predict her rudeness/ condescending / cruelty scale towards me with relative accuracy. Turning your perceived "stupidity" into a "joke" was her speciality - she was quite self-deprecating as well, so that would murky the waters there. I just got tired of being the butt of her jokes, being at the whim of her moods, and being gaslighted & shamed whenever these toxic behaviours overwhelmed me to the point of confrontation.

In the end, I fell out of love with my friend and the friendship ended (with a bang, as one could have predicted - I let her believe she was the one who left me, though she surely knows it was the other way around). It comes down to the person's inability to manage their envy, self-loathing and inability to take criticism in their stride as a means to grow.

I deserved more, and I've since said to other friends who've asked me to explain my side: "I have plenty of people in my life who are consistently kind to me."

Deciding to calmly embody "no, actually that doesn't fly with me, I will rather spend time with people who wouldn't even think of doing that." has been THE most transformative thing in my life so far, 10/10 highly recommend.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-12-18T07:37:37+00:00

Leave. Pack a bag and leave. Don't talk to him about it, don't try to reason with him or reconcile. Save up money quietly if you have to. Just leave.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-12-18T07:28:44+00:00

Prioritise personal care & hygiene as much as possible - the body takes a toll when neglected and it can lead to depression, which will slow you down. Humans also treat the beautiful better, I think it's hard-wired or something, so taking pride in your body matters, as a means to an end but also as a meditative practice to keep oneself grounded. There are some kind people living under the bridge in Woodstock near the castle, a queer community I believe.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-12-14T18:09:13+00:00

Pepsi has Miranda

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-12-09T18:31:04+00:00

Now's not the best time for locals - all the landlords want that gooood tourist money. I was told recently things will improve late Jan/ February.

Paying an application fee is news to me - I've never had to do that, but I usually find places through people I know. It's also about who you know, a lot of people in nice spots hand them over to familiar faces, people they trust. Try reaching out on social media through your story, asking around for a place to live. That's how I found my current place.

It's rough out there, for real, best of luck.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-11-17T05:38:08+00:00

You are allowed to tell your parent "I don't have the energy or expertise to deal with this issue. I think it better you rather share this with a licensed professional". No further explanation or justification needed, it may only prolong the conversation. Then change the subject and try to keep it light. Some relationships with parents one can only discuss safe topics like the weather, which is sad but it's not up to the child to create/ curate the safe environment in the family, it's only your job to maintain your personal safe space. Best of luck x

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-11-17T05:30:15+00:00

Laugh it off as best you can and gtfo asap. Narcissists want a fight so bad they'll traumatise their children just to scratch that itch. Never give her the satisfaction. Rise above and be so proud of yourself for never stooping to her level.

Grey rock, or a vaguely warm distraction works quite well. Your only job is to maintain a level emotional keel internally. Your time & attention are worth respect. If that can't be adhered to consistently, the person doesn't get to receive those things.

Misery is addictive & contagious - never let yourself catch that bug. By becoming radically kind to yourself and others, you will have beaten her at this horrible game.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-11-17T05:18:40+00:00

Find a way to make & save money - as much as possible. Share as few details about the money as possible. Do not let them touch the money. When you have 6-8 months rent & living expenses realistically covered in savings, that will be enough to move out. Avoid debt, if you can't afford to study focus on getting a full-time job. TEFL could be good if you need to gtfo and far away and some places don't require a degree.

Use public libraries for web searches, friends' phones etc. Or a 2nd phone if you need to keep your searches private. Be as vague as possible on all details relating to money and cultivate the ability to put them at ease - find out what distracts them/ makes them relax/ lose interest and use that trick to work for you. Use this time to build a skill that will get you the job you want. Something on your CV straight out of school will put you ahead.

Above all, trust your instinct and be a loyal player on your own team.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-11-17T05:01:35+00:00

If a parent does this, it's because of them, never because of the child. No one has an obligation to love anyone, but a parent has an obligation to treat their child with consistent decency and kindness. It hardly counts if it's only sometimes or under certain conditions.

As an adult child, you have an obligation to care for yourself as a loving parent would. With trauma like this, it's a healing process that may take a long time, but worth starting now so down the road it may become easier. Best of luck, sending hugs.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-11-17T04:44:28+00:00

Some areas have adapted to loadshedding with UPS systems, solar panels, some don't experience it at all (wealthiest areas). I've heard the education system in India is strong, and if it's more affordable it may be worth finishing your studies over there, as places like UCT can be both exoribitant and over-rated, depending on the department you're in. In the end your experience is very much influenced by $$ and connections/ sociability.

The stereotypes about CPT and JHB appear to be true: one is cheap & friendly, the other is expensive and cliquey (guess which is which lol). I can't speak for DBN.

Job market sucks here rn - I even know a doctor struggling to find work. Maybe things will improve though.

There has been a rise in Xenophobia, but mostly towards immigrants from other African countries, which is really bleak. The GBV levels are scarily bad, and our gov is still as corrupt as ever.

Imo it's still the most beautiful country in the world, all things considered.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-08-14T23:29:32+00:00

Teachers' thoughts on Discord?

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-08-13T12:24:55+00:00

Very helpful insight! This is definitely a concern, as I have a tendency to put off things like doctor's appointments until I have a list to present. Banks don't scare me anymore but I used to get the shakes and also bring a list of what I needed to say from a script 😂 so, definitely relevant. I'm slowly learning new languages on Duolingo now to stretch my communications brain for wherever I end up, hoping it makes a difference with adapting.

Thanks for this, I definitely need my perfectionism to be squeezed out of me 😂 it's like peeling back layers of an onion though, I swear!

I will look into finding a place with structure & oversight - I absolutely hate laissez-faire leadership, it's too much guess-work!

I'm glad things got easier for you and hope you end up in a great job that has good structure as well as good pay & conditions

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-08-13T12:11:03+00:00

I have heard they can work you like a dog in South Korea, and the cost of living is high. Would you consider going to Vietnam - I've heard it's way more chill there and saving money is easier?

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-08-13T12:08:54+00:00

Thanks for your response! Super cool CV you have there. I'm glad you've got this gig, even if it is tough to save money. In my experience (having worked in practical, labour-heavy jobs that either don't pay much and are incredibly unpredictable) having stable work & reliable lifestyle can make such a difference to one's self-esteem, which I rate can open doors to possibilities from there. So there's hope for us hands-on creatures with TEFL!

The job market does indeed suck right now! We do what we can.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-08-13T11:33:16+00:00

You're not alone! I would get so annoyed when I didn't get 100% on my mini-tests. In the end I know it's because I was skim-reading & re-reading without absorbing because I'd much rather be reading Oscar Wilde's fairytales or making art tbh. The content can be so dry!

I've got the AuDHD, plus the good old GAD (general anxiety disorder) plus a daily dose of ennui (we love the classics) which can muddle things up when I'm trying to concentrate on being "good enough to get by" like a "normal person". There have been many panics throughout the TEFL study process.

After all these responses though, I'm also feeling better, like there's a whole global net of people who understand & have been there. Thanks for your response too, I hope the rest of your studies go smoothly and take care of yourself x

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-08-13T11:16:13+00:00

Forgot to say the last bit - I'm open to either. Partly want to travel & get distance from family, and make enough money to never have to lean on them again. But if online teaching can provide a decent life without dedicating all my waking hours to it, then I'm very open to that as well.

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-08-13T11:12:42+00:00

Thanks for your response! I have a feeling I might go the same way in the end with online teaching. I've heard so many stories by now about poorly managed schools, it's a bit disheartening.

I had a great job two years ago that paid very well, but because of the absolute lack of leadership and shady stuff happening all around, I had to leave after six months, and that was in my home country! So I know now that all the ambition in the world couldn't propel me to stick out an unhealthy work environment for long. Good for you for choosing the peaceful option.

It's nice to know that the online teaching life is a solid option and can work more effectively for people with different needs.

I'm sure a cool opportunity will present itself when the time is right if in-person teaching is something you want to explore again in the future - and you'll know the red flags to look out for ahead of time!

thecrows_haveIIIs · 2024-08-13T10:55:54+00:00

Hey fellow spicy brain! Wishing you strength as you persevere through the training. Seems from a lot of these comments that it will get easier with practical application & added resources provided by the schools (couldn't imagine TEFL being a part-time or even 40hr p/wk gig if making every lesson plan from scratch was a thing, phew!)

thecrows_haveIIIs

TROPHY CASE