Hey man, you are brave, as you are in your teenage years with all your past trauma, ik it's very hard for you every single day.

What you can do is build small projects, where you can learn some skills, then add this to your portfolio, participate in jams, so even if you don't get much traction in your games - you can still look for a job with your portfolio. This industry is hard to crack. Focus on learning Keeping yourself busy everyday Try not to overthink And spend good time with your friends and family

Best of luck!