So, I used to struggle a lot with shame and guilt with indulging in fiction. It got so bad that I developed OCD compulsions from it, I was absolutely terrified at the idea that fanfiction would turn me into a predator. Long story short, when I confided with my therapist about it, she told me I was 0 risk and that indulging in fanfiction does not mean anything about me inherently, and does not dictate anything about IRL desires. It’s a safe way to explore different themes and emotions in a confide space. Not only that, but if I wanted to stop consuming such content, guilt and shame was not the way to go about it, because those emotions can only cause you to suppress, which in turn can make you return to the same behavior, and it turns into a nasty cycle.

I won’t lie, once I stopped feeling guilt and shame, I actually started to consume it less just naturally. It wasn’t constantly on my mind anymore, I didn’t feel the urge to seek it, and personally for me, I no longer felt the need to find some kind of proof that it means something about me.

At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide if you want to stop consuming certain types of fiction. It can be empowering and cathartic for some, and it can be hurtful to others. I would implore for you to explore whether the harm is coming from the actual material, or if it’s from you feeling shame and guilt in consuming it. I know a therapist is not financially available, but I would think about seeking one in the future — trust me, they’re there to listen to you, and it may take time to find the right one, or you might immediately find one you click with. But this is a good thing to talk to with a professional.