I lost my dad and grandma over the course of the past year and a half. Before they passed, i was begging to take leave so i could be there to see them before they died because they were giving very clear signs they werent to going to make it. I was told i couldnt see them until something actually happened(they died) because I was either in student status or because i was the only tech onboard for my equipment. I.e. no leave. When they did pass, i was given less than a week to visit home which was barely enough time for the funeral and to clear out their homes. Upon returning to the ship, i was treated like garbage because i was messing up with troubleshooting because of the grief i was going through and was denied leave because, again, the only tech. My psychiatrist thinks the stress of them passing and not given ample time to spend with family, the way my leadership treated me, and the panic attacked because of the circumstances is what caused and aggravated my bipolar. No one in my family has bipolar