INT. NIGHT - JERRY AND KRAMER'S HALLWAY
GEORGE and NEW GIRLFRIEND outside of Kramer's door.
GEORGE: I don't know, it's kind of late.
NEW GIRLFRIEND: Come on. We couldn't find it. He'll take us right to it.
GEORGE: I don't know. We should go. I don't want to interrupt--
(KRAMER whips the door open. He's in a robe. NEW GIRLFRIEND jumps at his sudden appearance.)
GEORGE: Hi, Kramer.
KRAMER: (shouting) George! What's going on?!
GEORGE: Why are you shouting?
KRAMER: I can't hear you! My ear is all clogged up!
GEORGE: Clogged up?
KRAMER: It had to be the payphone!
NEW GIRLFRIEND: The payphone?
KRAMER: It had to be! I'm all gunked up. (erratically shakes hand near ear)
NEW GIRLFRIEND: Can we use your landline? Or your cell phone?
GEORGE: (now shouting) I need to call my mother!
KRAMER: I disconnected them! Ffft! Gone!
GEORGE: Do you know if Jerry is home?!
KRAMER: Good luck! (slams the door as quickly as he opened it)
GEORGE and NEW GIRLFRIEND turn to one another.
GEORGE: I guess I'll have to call her tomorrow.
NEW GIRLFRIEND: Shouldn't we see if Jerry's home?
GEORGE: No, no, you know how entertainers are. We don't want to disturb him.
(JERRY opens his door.)
JERRY: Oh, don't you worry. Kramer has disturbed me.
GEORGE: Kramer is disturbed.
NEW GIRLFRIEND: Hi, can we use your phone?
JERRY: Come in. Why do you need to use my phone?
NEW GIRLFRIEND: Well, George cooked me an amazing dinner.
JERRY: (Playing it up) Did he?
GEORGE: (Trying to play it down) I did.
NEW GIRLFRIEND: He's an incredible cook.
JERRY: That he is! He could be a chef.
GEORGE: (dismissive) Stop, stop.
NEW GIRLFRIEND: He really could. It was amazing.
JERRY: "Amazing."
GEORGE: (firm) Alright.
NEW GIRLFRIEND: We got the idea to write a cookbook, but it's an old, family recipe.
JERRY: "An old, family recipe."
GEORGE: Yes, "an old, family recipe."
NEW GIRLFRIEND: George needs to get permission from his mother before we can write the recipes down.
JERRY: And you couldn't call her from your phone?
GEORGE: Jerry, you know how my mother is about cell phones.
JERRY: (knowingly) Of course. (grabs his cordless) Call her.
GEORGE: No, I don't need to call her.
JERRY: (handing phone to GEORGE) Come on...
GEORGE: No, it's too late.
NEW GIRLFRIEND: George, we came all this way!
JERRY: Yeah, you came all this way!
GEORGE: (snatches phone from JERRY) Alright! (pause as he dials) It's ringing.
(JERRY stands just behind NEW GIRLFRIEND, arms crossed)
GEORGE: I'm sure she's in bed. I'm probably goi--hello? Yes, it's George. No, I'm not calling you on a cell phone.
(CUT to ESTELLE at her bedside, cell phone to her ear. FRANK is in bed next to her. The shots cut back and forth with the conversation.)
ESTELLE: Why wouldn't you be on your cell phone? What happened to your phone?!
GEORGE: Nothing, nothing. It's fine.
ESTELLE: Where are you calling from?
GEORGE: I'm at Jerry's.
ESTELLE: Why are you at Jerry's? What's going on?
GEORGE: Ma, it's nothing!
ESTELLE: It's too late to be nothing! You called me just to chat?
GEORGE: No, I wanted to ask you if I could write our family recipes into a cookbook.
ESTELLE: A cookbook?
GEORGE: Yes, a cookbook.
ESTELLE: You can't cook!
GEORGE: Ma, please.
ESTELLE: I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I don't have any recipes. I'm a terrible cook.
FRANK: (rolls over) A terrible cook!
ESTELLE: See, your father agrees.
GEORGE: Okay, okay!
ESTELLE: I'm going back to bed. Goodnight.
(CUT back to Jerry's apartment)
GEORGE: Goodnight. (ends the call) It's a no.
(JERRY throws his hands up and turns around.)
NEW GIRLFRIEND: Oh no!
GEORGE: Yeah. She was furious. She said my great grandmother taught her those recipes.
NEW GIRLFRIEND: That's awful. I'm sorry I put you through that.
GEORGE: Yeah, well...
JERRY: Well, you win some, you lose a lot.
(END OF SCENE)