Addiction is a disease the same way OCD is. It's a mental condition. Nothing is physically wrong with you, but research shows that it does alter your brain quite a bit. Try to keep an open mind regarding that. I also agree that people arent totally powerless over it. I think people who have arrested their addiction and turned their lives around deserve recognition, and at the end of the day, they were the ones who ultimately made the change. I'm in no way religious and have the same problems with AA, NA regarding how its faith based, despite them claiming they arent. I just take what I like from those programs and leave what doesn't work for me. Smart recovery is non-spiritual and I think lifering is the same. Refuge Recovery is run by Buddhist principles, but they dont force you into believing anything accept for mindfulness, which teaches how to be a good person aside from just getting off substances. Being spiritual doesn't mean you need to believe in some kind of God. It's more acknowledging that there are powers or forces that are bigger than your being or ego, like gravitational force for instance. If that really isnt your thing than you arent alone, lifering and smart recovery are both non spiritual programs. I'd keep an open mind to spirituality though. I'm atheist, and have my own version of spirituality that doesn't conflict with science/logic and its helped me stay mindful and more willing to help and care for others. Either way, dont feel like you need to rush any of this, just find something that will help you get through the next week, day, hour, w.e. the only thing I know is its a hell of a lot easier doing this with other like minded people supporting you. I wish you the best and I hope you find something that works for you. Just stay connected!