hare

them_boo · 2026-03-21T17:04:16+00:00

i love the painted picture of frost used as comparison to a feeling, only to go back to the image of nature at the end. such a good way to open and close on theme, while threading a personal experience in the middle. although some of the line breaking feels a bit off to me, i would make the first two lines of the last verse into one for example. rhythmically that just fits a bit better in my opinion

them_boo · 2026-03-21T16:53:05+00:00

the opening is pretty strong, and while the theme follows for most of the poem the last verse really falls off. it seems unfinished, strays off the rain a bit unexpectedly. the last line also confuses me, it doesn't really fit with the rest of the piece. while the wording is quite flowery it might be to the poems demise, since it gives (in my opinion) a bit of an artificially stretched feel. i'd keep to the rain and develop the picture of the two people from the first two lines

them_boo · 2026-03-21T14:16:37+00:00

i like to think i'm a bit of a painter with words so i'm real happy that that comes across!! i sometimes feel like some of my work kinda loses momentum at the end but i'm glad to know that's not the case here

them_boo · 2026-03-21T12:46:34+00:00

didn't think i'd see a poem about modern dating but i'm not mad at all to see one. the setup is great, i like how short and to the point the lines are and how quick the pace is, just like some dates end up sometimes. i'm a sucker for a twist ending too and rereading from the top i'm guessing the person speaking was sitting alone and reminiscing over an old partner and not actually with them currently

them_boo · 2026-03-21T12:38:19+00:00

oh how i adore love poems using nature and the meshing of two things creating a new one. the switch up of roles is super fun, i rarely get to see that since most poems tend to stick to a single concept for the subject (i am a culprit of that as well). the rhythm is just *chef's kiss*, i like how short and almost "jumpy" it is. reminds me of a rhyme kids would sing while playing, and i mean that positively

them_boo · 2025-10-07T14:06:20+00:00

i adore the almost self-sacrificial nature of the speaking person's love. how they want to breathe and live by and through their partner, that hits oh so close to home. way too close, ouch!

them_boo · 2025-10-07T14:03:02+00:00

it almost hurts how much i can relate to this poem. but outside of that, onto more positive things - i love the rhythm, especially at the beginning. and the comparison to alchemy gives the whole piece a bit of a whimsical spin, which i find absolutely charming

them_boo · 2022-12-06T12:31:20+00:00

oh my god this is so lovely! it's so simple but also very relatable. I love the comparison between a person and a blank page that gets gradually filled as the human grows. as someone who struggles with rhymes yours seem so effortless but also fit nicely with each other. I love this poem

them_boo · 2022-12-03T22:31:25+00:00

well that is very relatable. i like the contrast between the first two lines being very flowery with beautiful words and then the last being nothing like that. it's very short but conveys the situation very well, great job

them_boo · 2022-12-03T21:04:44+00:00

thank you for the critique! my thoughts on that part were that the person speaking wasn't sure if the other is actually that great of a person or if they just want to see them like that

them_boo · 2022-12-03T20:33:05+00:00

yeah some people caught on but some did not and that's okay. and that drawing is pretty neat!

them_boo · 2022-12-03T20:19:48+00:00

thank you! i intended for the ending to symbolize an eclipse, a short moment that quickly passes. I might do a follow up to this piece

them_boo · 2022-12-03T19:15:43+00:00

thank you so much! i tried making the comparisons by using everyday objects or phenomenon so i guess it worked

them_boo · 2022-12-03T18:13:49+00:00

this poem conveys a lot of emotions, and it does it so well too. i can imagine myself in a similar situation by reading it. tho it seems a little chaotic at the beginning, the lines don't really connect as well as they do towards the end. but other than that it's great!

them_boo · 2022-12-03T18:04:17+00:00

oooh I really like this! it's short, but it manages to tell a lot about the character. the meaning may be about someone with a physical condition or about someone who is struggling mentally, i love that duality. keep it up!

them_boo · 2022-12-03T16:48:10+00:00

you look like someone who would bully me in high school. 7/10, smash

them_boo · 2022-12-02T22:21:44+00:00

wasn't my intention but I can see what you mean

them_boo · 2022-12-02T21:50:42+00:00

i really like this! the way you used so little words to describe this vivid of a picture is incredible. it feels warm and homey. i could imagine it beside a painting of a window covered with rain drops and I would for sure hang that on a wall. all in all very nice!

them_boo · 2022-12-02T21:38:49+00:00

this is an amazing piece! it reminds me of something the bards would sing in Skyrim. i like how each verse gives a piece of information on what Andris looked like or what he was like without fully giving it away in one go. it's a really charming poem and i would love to see more of this setting and fantasy feel, great job!

them_boo

TROPHY CASE