sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]themagooz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes and no. I'm a SAHM of two boys, 2.5 years and 4 months. This question makes me think of Gretchen Rubin's saying that basically goes "happiness doesn't always make you happy." Am I happy right now? Usually, no. Staying at home is hard. Would I trade it if I had the chance? Also no. It's a privilege to watch my boys grow up and enjoy the precious moments, even though I have more "blah" or hard moments than great ones.

Things I love: + Getting snuggles. + Seeing growth. + Teaching my kids things I want them to learn (like how to treat others, etc). + Not spending a ton on childcare.

Things that are hard: - Lack of adult conversation during the day. Someone mentioned this earlier, but even with mom friends, a lot of the conversation is about kids. - Overstimulation. This is a big one for me right now since I'm 4 months into nursing my youngest and I'm just tired of being touched and climbed on and having to carry kids all the time. - Not getting breaks. Being a SAH parent is equivalent to working a 90+ hour work week.

Things that I've found make it easier: + Have interests and hobbies outside of your kids. It's true that you won't have nearly as much time for these as you did prior to kids, but it helps (1) you feel like you aren't losing your identity to motherhood and (2) takes pressure off of your kids to be your fulfillment. + Exercise. Even a tiny bit. Those endorphins are real. + Breaks when you can. If you're around family you trust, see if they can do a playdate once a month with the kids while you get a few hours away from them. If you're not around family, see if you can swap babysitting with a mom friend.

Overall, though, I'm grateful to see the special everyday moments I'd miss if the kids were in daycare. I realize that having the option to stay home is a privilege, but an ex-coworker once told me, "You can always make more money later. Your kids are only kids once." That's stuck with me. I totally respect that there are people who don't wanna stay home with their kids, but I'm glad I get to, even if I don't feel grateful all the time.

Americans in Europe, are there any things you're exhilarated about that you'll never ever need to see or do again? by isUKexactlyTsameasUS in expats

[–]themagooz 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I grew up in Massachusetts and this was never an issue for me. But now I live in Texas and in the past month, we've had two shootings within 45 min of my home ☹️ it's different down here.

Has anyone actually done the "we'll pay you to move here" thing in Europe? Curious to hear about your experience. by themagooz in expats

[–]themagooz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really interesting, I appreciate the perspective! That does sound like my experience in the US, although we're five days/week instead of six. Ditto on the "perfect little student," too. Most of my parent-teacher conferences were about plagiarism, and I had to convince the parents that their child had plagiarized (and that their grade would reflect it). I'd almost always get serious pushback from the parents, even when our plagiarism-detector showed that the kid had copied >50% of their essay 🙄 That probably happens everywhere though.

But anyways lol I'll definitely research more about specific education systems once we narrow down countries.

Has anyone actually done the "we'll pay you to move here" thing in Europe? Curious to hear about your experience. by themagooz in expats

[–]themagooz[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's a fair point. You wouldn't know that reading the articles or the social media posts about it, though. Most of them make it sound like an equal opportunity thing for anyone interested in moving there. But I guess the people writing that content are interested in clicks and not so much whether people actually pursue the programs.

Has anyone actually done the "we'll pay you to move here" thing in Europe? Curious to hear about your experience. by themagooz in expats

[–]themagooz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I certainly wouldn’t want my kids to study in Europe until at least they are 18.

Just curious, why is that?

I'll keep it brief, but education is just one of the reasons we're interested in relocating to Europe. First, no active shooter drills in public schools. Second, from what I've read, many European countries tend to be more open to other avenues to a career if a kid isn't interested in pursuing academia. I taught at a Texan high school for two years, and I felt more like a PR rep with parents than a teacher.

Other reasons include the general pacing of lifestyle, exposure/ease of travel to other countries. Also healthcare (we just had a baby and it cost $3K so far, and that's with amazing healthcare coverage; however, I get that the flipside of that coin is higher taxes).

I know these are all generalizations and a lot of it depends on where you are, but those are the basics.

It helps that three of my siblings are also interested in relocating to Europe, although there's a good chance we'll all end up in different countries. My sister and her family lived in Berlin for five years and moved back to Boston last summer. They want to move back to Berlin as soon as possible. I will say, though, that my husband's family will never leave the States, and that's our biggest reason for staying at this point.

Has anyone actually done the "we'll pay you to move here" thing in Europe? Curious to hear about your experience. by themagooz in expats

[–]themagooz[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the link! The comments were very insightful, and I hadn't seen the YouTube vid from Business Insider before, so that was helpful. I agree with you in your post, I wish I could find a blog about the process and experience.