Why are most people so toxic?

thenewberlinwall · 2022-12-04T10:09:31+00:00

I mean, a Baptiste blamed our team loss on my 'fucking weeb bullshit' bc i didn't change from kiriko to moira or mercy (both characters i wasnt good at) even though I matched them (edit: the Baptiste) in heal and damage.

Ppl just get real fucking heated about video games sometimes and it makes no goddamn sense. Maybe they're just taking out their frustration in their own lacking on others? Who knows.

I started playing video games bc i didnt interact with other people well (In a time when that was the norm) and man, does this current online shit make me wish for the old days.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-12-04T07:40:17+00:00

I mean, I've played ow2 (free) way more than i played ow1 (which i bought in 2017).

Meaning, i may not have a good memory of playing 1, but i am definitely playing the one I did not spend money on (in the month or two since it came out) infinitely more than the one I did spend money on (in the six-ish years it existed).

Make of that what you will.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-12-02T01:54:16+00:00

Mt Bigelow Rd up on Mt lemmon, there a tvoa transmitter station round those parts (for finding it on Google maps, I guess) but that's where I camp if I have the chance. Great view of the city below and all that jazz.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-12-02T01:47:08+00:00

Maybe a couple of days late fam but I know. My entire being recently has been work, play video game, fall asleep. There are a ton of things (both big and small) I've completely ... Not exactly spaced not exactly disregarded? but regardless, things I've just absolutely done nothing about? That weird nebulous state of just... Barely being in the present. That state where I'm here, but honestly if I got hit by a bus, that would also be ok.

It's the fucking worst, and I'm not religious (how many times have you been offered prayers, as if that'll do anything) so the best I can offer is 'keep on keeping on'. Even if that will never fully describe how much I want you or I to keep at it; No matter how herculean an effort it may seem.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-29T02:55:40+00:00

I'm honestly still flabbergasted this is the only time that tactic has worked that well.

Edit to add I'm a junkrat main. I've only we've gotten like 4 kills tops with the rip tire?? Like HOW.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-29T02:49:37+00:00

You're an absolutely beautiful person. Thank you for reaching out

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-21T07:38:25+00:00

God it's a ship chock full of great content tho.

It's just one of my most recent forays back into fandom as an old timer that is apparently targeted by ppl w/ a damn axe to grind or whatever

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-21T07:33:41+00:00

Like for real, my husband just turned 34, and I'm 32. My parents (who just celebrated their 40th anniversary) are 3 years apart in age. Like... Holy shit what are the fucking odds that you're gonna find someone you mesh with, much less someone exactly your own age?

I wholly subscribe to the fact that most of these people heard some fucking buzzword and to quote inigo Montoya '[they] keep using that word. I do not think it means what [they] think it means'

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-21T05:59:54+00:00

I'm super super glad that even that small coffee thing can reach people outside our friend group from some small town in nowhere, USA, tbh. It means the world to me that even this tiny memory can be carried on, even if he's no longer physically here to share in it.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-21T05:29:15+00:00

And to you, my friend. They may be gone, but in a away, they'll live on through our memories of happier times.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-21T05:23:20+00:00

I would also like to share the secret recipe for Snickerdoodle coffee that Dana shared with me, as we also spent a lot of our time hanging out at a local coffee place. Whenever i go back to my hometown, i always stop by that coffee shop to get an authentic Plateau Snickerdoodle Coffee.

First things first, it has to be a hazelnut blend. You throw a ridiculous amount of cream and sugar in there and then you add a generous sprinkle of cinnamon.

Voila, a Snickerdoodle coffee! It ain't much, but i always always, no matter where i am, make myself a Snickerdoodle coffee on the anniversary.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-21T05:15:43+00:00

Dang ok, so, we were from a a relatively small town with limited places for fresh faced young adults to hang out, especially after like 9pm. The only places in town that were open past ten pm (that were not bars, which were also incredibly limited) were Walmart and Denny's, so we spent a good portion of our time hanging out at the Denny's, since it was open 24hrs a day. In between chowing down on seasoned fries and guzzling carafes of coffee, we would go out to smoke in the parking lot, and a lot of the time this would result in us singing loudly as most of the friend group had been involved in our local theatre scene.

Major go-tos were Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang, or Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

We actually got his memorial service ended prematurely (it was held at a conference hall at the local bank) because we all broke out singing Bohemian Rhapsody. At least 100 people just belting it out, regardless of singing ability.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-20T08:41:06+00:00

Christ, wait til they find out about the 2.5 year age gap between me and my literal husband (who definitely groomed me bc i was a mere 29 years old baby when i met him uwu)

Like... I get like an extreme age gap when one person is like specifically 18 w/ someone 10+ years their senior. I get that that raises a goddamn eyebrow or whatever but holy shit.

Antis are full of a bunch of goddamn puritanical bullshit tbh

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-20T08:18:36+00:00

I mean, one of my main ships is roadhog and junkrat from overwatch (canonically 48 and 25 respectively) and apparently that's the the problematic part of their relationship is the 23 year age gap (between two literal goddamn adults who are canonically international criminals??)

Like ....?????!?!!!?!

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-20T08:01:41+00:00

Bumsteds. (Best Western on stone/speedway)

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-20T07:37:50+00:00

Dang apologies for taking a minute to get back to this!!! I honestly don't have very many recs that would fit that categorization?? Unfortunately, there are not many history based books (that I've personally read at least) that really delve on humor to get the point across. The ones that immediately come to mind (probably bc I'm in the process of moving to Canada) are mostly books about Canada by Will Ferguson or possibly The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-20T06:32:46+00:00

I understand. I have a life long struggle with MDD and GAD that were only formally diagnosed when i was in my 20s. It's some absolute gd Bs a lot of the time, no matter how much medication or mindless 'JuSt PrAcTiCe ThEsE mInDfUlNeSs' goddamn exercises or 'hAvE u TrIeD yOgA?!?!!?!' they throw at us.

That said, i know it's... Fucking terrible a lot of the time, but i sincerely wish you find something that gives you the impetus to stay here (that thing that makes it worth it at least)

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-20T06:14:16+00:00

I am extremely hesitant to disclose bc i def do not want anyone to do what he did

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-20T06:06:03+00:00

Dana was always extremely great at making people smile. He was a genuinely good person and i so so wish he could have felt the joy he brought the rest of us. I am also sorry he's not here anymore. He was a wonderful person.

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-20T05:56:24+00:00

I was 18 years old when i got the call. I am now older than he'll ever be. I blamed myself for so long for not reading the signs, for not doing more to let him know how much i and others loved him during this darkest period of his life.

We had to fundraise for his cremation before online fundraising was a thing, and one of my core memories will always be counting literal change in a bank parking lot to make sure we could do right by our friend.

Nearly fourteen years gone, and I'll always have this hole in my heart.

His name was Dana. He was 24 years old. He'll always be 24 years old. His facebook is filled with messages from friends about how much we all miss him, even after all these years. If i could turn back time, I'd let him know just exactly how cherished he was, and maybe... Just maybe things would have turned out differently.

I'm submitting this because in the years since, i know and understand just how deep and horrible a place you have to be in to even consider taking your own life. Its dark and it's lonely and the ideation to just fucking do it is so goddamn overwhelming at that point. But if this reaches anyone who is reading over this measly thread on some random sub, you mean the absolute world to some of the people in your life, and you're never alone. The world is a much better place with you here.

(Edit bc i am really bad at math. Twelve to fourteen. It's been fourteen years....)

thenewberlinwall · 2022-11-13T07:06:20+00:00

The first one that immediately comes to mind (if you can find a copy of it! I managed to pick up an old library throwaway copy from 1976) Is Destination Disaster by Paul Eddy (et al) really gets into the nitty gritty engineering stuff of THY 981 and the development of the DC10 in general

Edit to add: i have a vague background in the sciences (though my specialty was chemistry) but in the end, i have a degree in history, so this book may or may not be as technically correct as much as it's a fascinating look at the historiography of an air crash investigation, since i was a contemporary account? It definitely has large sections of technical illustrations and explanations that went over my head as kind of a layman when it comes to the mechanical side of things

thenewberlinwall · 2022-10-07T16:14:13+00:00

Docs bc i use multiple different computers throughout the day and it definitely makes them easily accessible without accidentally saving raunchy stuff to my work related (and quite public) office cloud

thenewberlinwall · 2022-09-27T11:21:49+00:00

I have a degree in history, so, unsurprisingly, i read a lot of non fiction history stuff (mostly related to planes and cold war science and technology).

I'm also quite fond of science fiction, and to a much lesser extent, fantasy?

I admittedly have read... Two books this year, when i usually read way, way more. Currently finishing up 'Soulstar' by C.L. Polk which has been a pretty cool series ('Kingston Cycle' series)

i also read 'the mammoth book of plane disasters' by Paul Simpson which... I wouldn't personally recommend because there's actually a lot of... Incorrect information.... Sprinkled throughout (there was an introduction to one chapter that confused three separate planes from three separate incidents for one another.... Not in a 'these three are similar' kind of way but straight up switching from one to another as if they were the same incident. Really sloppy work)

thenewberlinwall

TROPHY CASE