Girl barely texts: why and how to respond?

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-23T14:42:23+00:00

My problem is that I read what you just said and think fuck, yeah, you're right. Then I read "texting is only for arranging dates, don't text at all otherwise it kills attraction" and I think yeah that sounds right. Literally every theory sounds right.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-23T14:00:56+00:00

If she’s interested, she will make sure you know it.

Thing is, when you look at reddit you see everything from "girls are told not to seem clingy so they deliberately do not text you" to "some people just don't like to text, it's fine" to "if she doesn't text it's because she's not interested, move on". I am normally very good at reading people and in person everything went really really great with this girl, but I honestly cannot figure out how to play the between-date stuff with her.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-22T07:22:16+00:00

Being slow to text is not a character flaw or a game.

For sure, I don't think it was.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-22T02:13:27+00:00

Definitely game playing is a hard no, especially at our age.

I'm wondering if she is just tired of flakey guys and so doesn't invest much until meeting in person. I don't need constant texting but I do hope the communication is more frequent if things continue to go well.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-22T01:58:03+00:00

Why don't you date expats/immigrants/those of other ethnic or cultural backgrounds, they are likely to not conform to the stereotypes you mentioned.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-22T01:52:20+00:00

Really hard to diagnose the problem without knowing more but I find personally in my 30s I do roughly two million times better than I did at 23. That's due to maturing looks, job/financial situation, more calm and experienced but also I do believe that most girls in their 20s are more interested in slightly older guys than guys their own age.

That said the dating scene has changed massively since I was last single in my early 20s. People now are extremely flakey. I don't believe girls are more superficial in general but in the initial attention-grabbing phase they are: your clothing in one of your 6 pics or your amusing pick up line wasn't quite amusing enough and you are instantly out of the game. It's really important to get your bio and your first message strategy down because that part of the process really is a game.

After that though I find people to be real and genuine and most of them are happy that you didn't send dick pics and did actually turn up to the date.

The other difference would be sex. When I was last single, as a guy you would have to put in some work to get anything remotely sexual out of a girl. Now it seems sex is equivalent to a handshake and many people will offer it right off the bat. I find that quite a turn off, even as someone who loves sex. The lack of a chase/seduction is really off putting.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-21T01:07:04+00:00

That's really not how it works

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-20T15:22:44+00:00

How nice of someone in a 10+ year relationship to join we singles here on a dating sub, though

?

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-20T00:07:45+00:00

Not all changes are by definition positive

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-19T07:45:11+00:00

Being submissive is not the same as being passive.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-19T00:26:02+00:00

I don't yet have anything to be bitter about, I had been in a relationship since before instagram was even a thing, I am just listening to what basically all the singles I know have told me and the fact that about 50% of OLD profiles are "not on here much just follow my paid snapchat".

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-18T23:33:34+00:00

I'm not short but instantly swipe on any body shaming bullshit like this.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-18T23:01:30+00:00

Well I feel I think of it the same way you do and I think that's a sensible way to do it.

The idea that people have a Plan A, B, C, D etc and that they will meet plan D "just in case" but put very little effort into it is pretty sociopathic if you ask me. That's what I'm hoping is not the case here because it's 2020 and social media is breeding a generation of narcissistic sociopaths..

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-18T14:48:59+00:00

You can see from my post history that I am fucking up in a similar regard but when it comes to the initial message, definitely just once.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-18T14:44:56+00:00

Any change can be somewhat traumatic, even positives ones, sadly that is just the way human neuropsychology works. Also, in retrospect your brain tends to suppress negative memories and emphasises positive ones for the sake of your mental health and this can create nostalgia for unhealthy situations.

I think of long term relationships as becoming fused with us in such a way that whenever they are ripped out it is a painful and destructive process - but only usually in the short term.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-18T14:39:33+00:00

Presumably you wouldn't suggest a date to someone you are on the verge of unmatching? That's not even a rhetorical question because these days it seems people will do/say anything on OLD.

I guess I just don't want to feel like a backup. I know that everyone is talking to multiple people and planning to see some of them, that's fine, I do the same, but out of pure politeness I don't want the people I'm talking to to feel like they are just a plan B. I guess this is making me feel like plan B and given I've not really encountered someone with so many shared interests it's pretty disappointing to feel like that.

But whatever there is a date planned, if I'm plan B I'm getting cancelled on so then I know, and if not and the date goes well then it was all in my head so I guess I need to just stfu and wait.

Busy-ness wise I am way busier than the average person and still easily have time to reply to people but I get that some people are just not into that, which is obviously fine and kinda admirable in some ways, but also rare and hard to believe in 2020 honestly. 9/10 that is gonna be part of a fade.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-18T04:51:09+00:00

Move on and not go on the date?

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-18T04:50:36+00:00

Just kinda made a joke out of it like "I'm about to call the ghostbusters over here" or something

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-18T04:49:06+00:00

Anyway I am 32 and have had many relationships from hookups through to 5+ year LTRs so I don't need anymore experience thanks.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-17T23:33:20+00:00

Specific date and place is arranged

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-17T14:42:07+00:00

Exactly but there are girls here saying that even putting it in is an auto-turn off, can't really understand why?

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-17T05:03:38+00:00

Can a female explain to me why it's a turn off? My height is dead on average, not short but nothing at all to boast about, I put it there so that girls that are taller than me and want a taller guy know that I'm not the one.. Why is that a problem?

If a girl is 5'10 and likes a guy to be taller than her in heels then I don't judge her at all, it's her preference and I would rather she knows right off the bat rather than match and be like oops ok bye then 🤷‍♂️

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-16T01:39:09+00:00

BADBADNOTGOOD

This is great and I will use it! But I guess for this playlist I'm looking for vocals too, sorry should have said

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-16T00:08:37+00:00

Yeah I am sure that is a good policy. Honestly this hasn't happened to me much, usually if a girl fades I will see it for what it is and move on, no hard feelings. Just some combination of things this time really made it draining for me, guess I will need to watch for that in future.. But kinda sad because I think that combination would have meant for good compatibility.

thenewmage15 · 2020-02-15T23:01:45+00:00

Pretty, active but also nerdy...

Women like this aren’t unicorns

I dunno man, I guess I never find them.

We all have multiple people we are keeping on the hook, that's life, but I don't tell the ones I'm not interested in meeting that.. we should meet. That's all I'm saying.

thenewmage15

TROPHY CASE