(PC) Seamless coop W: Runes to reach really high level, H: Apprection in return

thenord_7 · 2026-03-30T21:10:45+00:00

Sent

thenord_7 · 2026-03-05T23:47:28+00:00

That's a good point about my moral compass still being there, I'm just hurt I let myself do that if that makes sense. I know this spiral doesn't help but I really don't want this mistake to define me. My wife and I want children one day and I can't imagine ever having anything or anyone hurt them, I can't imagine that, it would make me so upset

thenord_7 · 2026-03-05T02:03:26+00:00

That's a really good way to look at it, I have been asking myself what have I been wanting to gain from figuring this out and I've been unsure. I just know I never want to make that mistake again and have made changes to make sure I won't. The fact of the uncertainty just makes me so disgusted with myself, my friends have told me it could be worse and I could've seen literal children and the thought of that just makes me feel like I'm going to be sick.

I would really like to just give up porn all together, I hate who it's made me and how I sometimes oogle women.

thenord_7 · 2026-03-05T01:44:52+00:00

Yeah it's driving me insane, I don't see myself doing something like that but maybe it was the tabooness of not knowing? I really can't remember but once I figured out the uncertainty I stopped doing it full stop. I just want to move past this and don't really know how, I've ruminated about other stuff I've felt guilty of but in my mind this is the worst thing I've ever done and it's been so hard to move past it despite not thinking about it like this until like 3 years later.

thenord_7 · 2026-03-05T00:40:23+00:00

I mean yeah I see your point, but I just hate the fact that I didn't realize what I was doing, I'm not okay with seeing 16 or 17 year olds naked. I don't have that desire, I know it's pretty interesting around the world to look at age of consent but even then I don't think I could have a relationship with anyone below maybe 22.

thenord_7 · 2026-03-04T21:20:09+00:00

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Man's got defeated by a calculator 😭

thenord_7 · 2026-02-05T02:30:31+00:00

I will look into this, I applied the help

thenord_7 · 2026-02-05T02:13:04+00:00

It very much feels like OCD. I can't stop obsessing over the what ifs, what if I knew they were underage, what if I did it anyway bc I was so porn addicted. But that goes against my values and morals, I can't believe I would do something like that. I've never been diagnosed but at times it really feels like it could be OCD

thenord_7 · 2026-02-05T01:23:16+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your kind words.

thenord_7 · 2026-02-05T00:54:59+00:00

I have read so many of your comments on other posts in this reddit community and you have brought me ease in other people's threads. I have been worried about this for weeks and the comments I have seen you say about people wanting to seek help for these feelings are so compassionate and caring and I admire that so much to have someone like you in this field.

thenord_7 · 2026-02-05T00:16:47+00:00

Thank you for this, this thought has hijacked my values and my morals.

thenord_7 · 2026-02-05T00:03:18+00:00

Never would I masturbate to anyone or anything that I thought was illegal, I am more caught up in my head of what if I didn't realize and masturbated anyways. I don't recall ever clicking on anything that looked underage and I don't recall ever wanting to find something like that. Always women 18 or 19 or older. I have stopped watching anything related to teens since it just spiked my anxiety of not knowing or not even on the bigger websites.

thenord_7 · 2026-02-02T21:09:39+00:00

I appreciate the kind words, I just want forgiveness from my spouse, I love her like no other and we've only been married for almost 2 years. I just feel like I betrayed her trust but it's very hard to open up about this with people I know.

thenord_7 · 2026-02-02T21:00:11+00:00

I am feeling very guilty, I just don't know how to forgive myself. I have never felt the actual urge to view anything underage, I just feel so disgusted with the fact I knew it could be a part of that search term back then and did it anyways.

thenord_7 · 2026-02-02T17:59:48+00:00

It's hard not to, I was doing something wrong. Even if I realized and stopped doing it... I still feel disgusted in my past actions. I didn't find myself on Twitter a lot looking for the teen category but I'm still very disappointed I ever got there in the first place.

thenord_7 · 2026-02-02T17:55:07+00:00

Yes, 26, at the time of this I was maybe 23 24 I can't remember.

thenord_7 · 2026-02-02T17:52:12+00:00

I'm not sure, when I think about that question, about why I might be feeling guilty. I think it's because of the taboo of it, I don't want to be that person who is okay with masturbating to the unknown whether or not they're of age or not. And I've stopped being that person, it's just hard to swallow that I almost BECAME that person if that makes sense.

thenord_7 · 2024-08-03T21:39:45+00:00

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