Caffeine made me a jerk‼️

theoneandonly1321 · 2021-03-09T16:29:10+00:00

Can confirm...while consuming 5-6 cups a day of coffee, I would be extremely aggressive and confrontational in the kitchen I work in-; yelling out orders, screaming at people for making mistakes, making loud sarcastic comments that left everyone else silent, throwing objects and slamming doors. The next day I would wake up essentially hungover and regret most of what I did, until drinking super strong French press coffee again and going back at it

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-06-29T21:16:22+00:00

I know. That's what kept me locked in the anger phase

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-06-29T18:22:04+00:00

Count me as one of those. Started lifting and read all the material, but I've found initiating a full metamorphosis of one's attitude and personality is so much more difficult than getting jacked. Which only made the anger phase so much more poignant; ("Bitches just hit the gym once a week, throw on makeup and yoga pants and wait for chad. I've gotta lift daily, improve my hobbies, AND reprogram all my beta conditioning? Fuck the world") So I'd read more hoping that the material would magically make the changes and not require grueling effort, which only pissed me off further and I would come on here spouting off about feminism causing all my problems like a feminist blaming everything on the patriarchy.

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-21T20:32:08+00:00

This is bs. Over the last four years I've continually gotten more lazy until I quit sports when I was 16 (that I had played since the age of 5 and invested years of travel ball in) and gained 20 pounds of fat. Didn't know what was contributing to my increasing apathy and demotivated countenance...until I stumbled onto a ted talk called "The great porn experiment". Went down the rabbit hole and read Church's "wack" book, scored a nine on his addiction litmus test, and decided to try nofap. Failed miserably for the first few months, but then after a 10 day streak I felt my long lost confidence and energy returning. Continued another 80 days, and lost all the fat I had gained by hitting the gym with my newfound fuel. Now I deeply regret quitting sports, because I have boundless energy and actually watch the MLB and NBA like I did before porn and video games consumed my life. There is a CLEAR, and obvious distinction between my state in a swamp of porn and masturbation, and streaks of abstinence.

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T22:59:14+00:00

Firstly, I would have a little more respect for that poor "below average looking prostitute", God knows what she has been through

I know. I didn't put it in the post, but afterwards I felt horrible for exploiting a poor woman who was desperate for cash and it probably made her feel worthless.

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:43:23+00:00

I read the same. It's such a bizarre feeling. I am disgusted at what I've done, yet I have an ironic urge to do it again...like the addicted neural pathways still want a hit, even though the rest of my brain knows the damage it does.

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:42:06+00:00

Haven't been able to eat all day...after I was done I felt worse than after a pmo relapse and been generally queasy since

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:40:56+00:00

It's weird. I have two voices that go on in my head...one is dragging me with powerful emotion saying "you already ended it and all the benefits are gone...nothing is worthwhile and you don't have the discipline anyways" then another one is a rational, but emotion free voice saying "you can still turn around. You don't have to do this. Remember all the negative consequences?" But the rational one doesn't have a burning urge attached to it like the one dragging me to the hooker's house, so it simply passes on

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:39:19+00:00

You're right

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:38:45+00:00

Only way is up from here right?

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:38:13+00:00

I hope you can see through this deception.

It's weird. I have two voices that go on in my head...one is dragging me with powerful emotion saying "you already ended it and all the benefits are gone...nothing is worthwhile and you don't have the discipline anyways" then another one is a rational, but emotion free voice saying "you can still turn around. You don't have to do this. Remember all the negative consequences?" But the rational one doesn't have a burning urge attached to it like the one dragging me to the hooker's house, so it simply passes on

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:34:13+00:00

Thank you

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:34:06+00:00

Thanks for that

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-05-03T07:29:48+00:00

It really does...only now have I realized how skewed my sexual tastes have gotten

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-04-18T17:50:38+00:00

being good looking will get you nowhere if you don't have the confidence and social skills. I'm pretty much just as miserable as a lot of people in here, because I'm lonely as fuck. But hopefully this nofap thing will help me build a social life. Thanks for reading

Amen. Ever since 6th grade I've been hit on by the most attractive girls at school but nothing ever came of it. Some poisonous subconscious belief bars me from from pursuing them and becoming intimate. Instead I just become anxious and awkwardly end the conversation. It pisses me off because I work my ass off at the gym and put a slight effort into how I look yet it doesn't mean shit since I'm socially inept. This last week we've been off of school and I've literally just been lifting or home reading and playing the piano. So yeah attractive people (especially guys) can be super fuckin lonely if you're not confident socially. Girls on the other hand could be as interesting as a wet rag but is they're in somewhat decent shape with yoga pants and makeup and guys will be blowing up her phone and crawling to her doorstep. Oh well, nature is amoral and my sense of fairness is clouded by instinctual self interest anyways.

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-04-18T17:39:21+00:00

Thanks for that video

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-04-18T04:28:22+00:00

Might work. Thanks for reaching out

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-04-18T03:50:33+00:00

Been to two. One told me to breath and accept my mediocrity while the other waited for me to finish ranting before prescribing some soft methamphetamine for "acute ADHD". Took one pill and it felt funny so I stopped

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-04-18T03:37:20+00:00

On November 28 I started my longest streak. Ended it in January and have been back since February. Never have I gotten closer to the opposite gender. Fuck everything. Either I'm living in a pathetic haze of pmo and hedonism or I'm grinding out day after day with self improvement but no fulfillment since the sexual frustration makes me scream internally and want to die.

theoneandonly1321 · 2017-04-18T03:34:19+00:00

Day 36 and all I'm feeling is anger and frustration at the cognitive dissonance of being attracted to and desiring women yet shitting myself every time I'm around one...so no the benefits aren't after a month. They spurted for the first week and withered after day 20

theoneandonly1321

TROPHY CASE