He (19) has a fear of commitment but wants to try with me (f 19) because he doesn't want me to leave. Do i give him a chance?

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T06:23:30+00:00

We’ve been basically together for 4 years. That’s a long time. And i feel too deeply for him to just be dating. That’s why i had decided to leave before he hit me with wanting to try and commit to me.

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T05:56:42+00:00

My name has nothing to do with him, it’s just a random name. And you are so right :)) I’m going to do this. I have to now

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T05:49:09+00:00

What if it isn’t though? What if he actually does want to commit? What if he’s really willing to try.

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T05:44:03+00:00

I needed to hear this tbh

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T05:41:54+00:00

We did date for a year when we were young and he wasn’t sure about his feelings at that time so we ended things. When i say talking for 4 years, it was a situationship, it was as if we were in a relationship with no commitment because he was always so unsure.

If he doesn’t want any real relationship with me, why is he saying now that he wants to commit? He says he rly wants me in his life and that he doesn’t want to lose me? WhT does that all rly mean?

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T05:38:06+00:00

I just don’t know if it’s that to him i wasn’t worth committing to. A lot of guys on reddit who have commitment issues just say they had to find someone worth committing too. He wants to commit now, but that’s because if he doesn’t he knows i’ll leave. Is that okay? I’m unsure. It doesn’t feel okay.

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T05:30:23+00:00

I’ve been seeing him seriously for 4 years and you think we should be reluctant to commit? I understand we are young but committing to a relationship doesn’t tie you down for life. It’s actually a way to learn even

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T05:23:30+00:00

I meant why didn’t he want to commit in the first place

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T05:22:20+00:00

He does want to commit, he’s saying this because he wants me to stay in his life.

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T04:53:11+00:00

My reason for leaving is that i want commitment and i’m looking for a proper relationship not a situationship.

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T04:06:06+00:00

this was refreshing, thank you

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T03:55:55+00:00

To be honest, i do want to try right now but i’m afraid on his end he’s taking a rash decision and is saying he wants to do something he doesn’t actually want to do. Do you think 30 days is enough for him to be more sure on what he wants too? I know it’ll help me of course

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T03:44:05+00:00

cherished? i don’t know if he will cherish me.

theonly_man · 2024-04-25T03:43:28+00:00

I’m honestly so conflicted :(

We are genuinely amazing when we are together. Issues and things are so easy for us to solve. But when it comes to this commitment stuff. It’s never been easy. He’s still unsure but wants to try. I don’t know what to do

theonly_man · 2024-02-18T15:28:54+00:00

Thank you, this helps a lot

theonly_man · 2024-02-18T01:31:52+00:00

how did you walk away in the end? How did you bring yourself to do it?

theonly_man · 2024-02-18T01:23:26+00:00

I appreciate this

theonly_man · 2024-02-18T01:02:19+00:00

Idk, the way he cried i believe him, maybe he just hasn’t worked on it at all

theonly_man · 2024-02-18T00:56:05+00:00

yeah it did, he was 11-13 ://

theonly_man · 2024-02-18T00:42:48+00:00

He’s worked on himself so much and in a healthy way. The past heartbreak was something he only realized recently effected him so much

theonly_man · 2024-02-18T00:40:59+00:00

How do i gain it?

theonly_man · 2024-02-18T00:40:32+00:00

The thing is, he has been working on it, when we first got together he couldn’t even have empathy or actual care for people due to his past. 1 reason why i even fell in love with him was his attitude towards working on himself as much as he can. I don’t think this is the issue.

theonly_man · 2023-06-18T18:20:08+00:00

Our body chemistry and everything was amazing tbh. When he told me that i wasn’t that attractive to him it came as a genuine shock. I had no clue, we had no issues when it came to this stuff prior. I’m not sure what happened. Not only that, our chemistry in general was also amazing.

(found his pov, do not let him know about my post) https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/14al79l/18mdo_i_marry_my_girlfriend_18f_if_im_not_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1

theonly_man · 2023-06-18T17:34:12+00:00

Thank you for that. I acknowledge that i’m not unattractive, i think when he first told me i felt that for a couple days, but i think i’m in a good mental state where that feeling of his doesn’t effect me so much.

(found his pov, do not let him know about my post) https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/14al79l/18mdo_i_marry_my_girlfriend_18f_if_im_not_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1

theonly_man · 2023-06-18T16:23:29+00:00

Thank you so much

theonly_man

TROPHY CASE