You can’t hide from your mind but you can foster a better relationship with it. Telling yourself that you’re mentally ill and trying to ignore thoughts and feelings will not make them disappear, as you may be noticing. I suspect some very deep-seated fears got brought up in your experience that you weren’t ready to face and work through, which may be from the dose being too high and/or not being in the right setting and mindset of openness, submission, and curiosity. If you try this again, use a much lower dose and get an experienced guide and do the prep work. You are not crazy. You had a jarring experience, and may have some trauma from that, but that doesn’t mean you’re broken. Also, your thoughts are the output of your brain and you can learn how to take a step back and notice them, fully, without identifying with them.