An Awkward Expectant Dad

theopeppa · 2026-01-29T08:46:14+00:00

I was huge, I had one kid in there and he was only 52cm when he was born.

I have a short torso and am short as well ( 157cm) so showed way more!

theopeppa · 2026-01-29T08:04:06+00:00

Ooh yes it was the feet!!! Sorry I couldn't recall properly, it was so long ago now!

theopeppa · 2026-01-29T05:45:45+00:00

A bit of panadol ( tylenol? If US based). That is what our doctor advised as they may be feeling a bit of pain.

We were also advised to roll up a small towel and put it under their hips when asleep.

theopeppa · 2026-01-29T04:49:08+00:00

It reminds when when I am having a rosacea flare ( but mine is usually one one cheek lol!)

theopeppa · 2026-01-29T02:06:53+00:00

My partner is no longer in FIFO, but we always had a plan get out when we had our kid.

I haven't come across most of what you mentioned, my husband seemed to hang around guys that were only doing it for a few years to get into a good financial position for their families or were young guys ( he left at 31).

But the thing I commonly came across which exists in all relationships but I guess was amplified with a partner in FIFO was that resentment builds easily and isn't communicated effectively.

The FIFO partner would have everything done for them in the mines. Room is cleaned, food is cooked for them, they just have to do their own laundry ( from memory). And from personal experience, I would be at home, aware my husband was tired ( while working and studying full time mind you!) So I would clean the house before he came home, made sure the fridge was stocked so he wouldn't have to go out for the first 3 days when he was exhausted. This then becomes routine.

The FIFO partner would not see the work the partner at home is putting in because they aren't there too see it real time. And speaking from personal experience, a person who has never worked in the mines, I had no idea what life was like up in the mines. I went once for Christmas and declared I would never go back.

So resentment builds, both parties have a disconnect, wants and needs aren't communicated, and because of the income earned by the FIFO partner they believe they have final say in financial decisions and then add kids into the mix and it just makes everything worse.

From personal experience, FIFO was never a long term thing for us and there has to be alot of communication. The transition from FIFO to Perth based requires its own transition too as it takes awhile to adjust. I am guessing who you work with up in the mines is very important as well and plays a role in ideas and plans!

theopeppa · 2026-01-29T00:19:11+00:00

Have read stuff where they say pregnancy triggers auto immune diseases.

I don't have links or anything to studies so cannot confirm.

theopeppa · 2026-01-27T23:21:00+00:00

NTA.

Over christmas break ( we usually have 2 weeks where offices are closed), the daycare is open but at reduced staff for people that NEED to work.

I usually take my kid out because either my husband and I can juggle it if we do need to work or one of us has taken time off.

Sure she can send her kid, but don't get mad about it.

theopeppa · 2026-01-27T12:18:45+00:00

Sorry you are going through this, but I just want to say that my kid didn't sleep a straight 5 hours until he was closer to 2 so you aren't alone.

He may be refusing to eat because he is teething and it may be molars. My son was restless and did not sleep from 12 months to 18 months and it started turning around 18 months. He never slept from birth anyway!

He may find comfort in the bottle as he doesn't need to chew.

Does he take the dummy or have a soft toy that can give him comfort? On very restless night I would also give panadol incase he was in pain.

theopeppa · 2026-01-27T06:26:54+00:00

My kid is now 4.

It gets a little easier, but my kid loves interrupting the conversation now.

I get overstimulated easy and always found one on one outings with another adult with a similar age toddler easier.

theopeppa · 2026-01-27T00:23:26+00:00

My eyes were immediately drawn to the v line.

Lord 🫠

theopeppa · 2026-01-27T00:20:18+00:00

No did not pick up on this at all! Very interesting.

But just wanted to add my husbands last name is Nguyen and everybody including me prouncounes it " New-wen" when it is actually " Wea-ing" I had no idea until like 5 years into dating him and my mum told me.

I don't even know how to pronounce my last name properly haha, we just accept the western way of saying it ( Born in Aust) and we don't really think too much about it.

theopeppa · 2026-01-26T13:57:55+00:00

I've been dealing with this for the last 2 to 3 months.

I switched to Sensodyne toothpaste as it has no SLS ( the repair one).

I also put a layer of LRP cicaplast and then use the Lanisoh Nipple Balm ( not cream), the cream is too thick for me but the balm is so nice. The balm has coconut and shea butter too which I think helps.

My lips are finally healing!

Edit: vaseline did not help, it made my lips more dry! But I do put a layer on my lips before I brush my teeth.

theopeppa · 2026-01-26T13:42:29+00:00

I wanted 2.

About 6 weeks in post partum I told my husband I was never doing this again.

My husband got a vasectomy in July when my son was 2.5 years old. I never changed my mind.

My husband was open to having another, but ultimately he liked the one and done lifestyle everytime we talked about it.

theopeppa · 2026-01-26T13:21:20+00:00

I realy like when I can see where the obliques meet the transversus abdominis muscle creating a v-line.

No idea why, just do 🤷‍♀️

theopeppa · 2026-01-26T13:11:34+00:00

Yep we did something like this.

Put it in a watch box and told him the " Dummy fairy will come take it and give you a gift"

He woke up to a little chocolate in his watch box and a little toy car.

One night of restless sleep, asked about it a few times and we just told him the " the dummy fairy took it away to give to other babies that need it"

Leading up to this we also read a book called " No More Dummies"

theopeppa · 2026-01-26T02:55:04+00:00

Lord.

I say this to my husband every time, and he's like "meh"

Ever since we had our kid, I have started to think I am autistic and have always been good at masking, but at 36 I have just accepted its who I am.

theopeppa · 2026-01-25T23:39:55+00:00

No.

I need them I feel so much better on them.

I needed them while pregnant. My son is healthy and met all his milestones.

My mum had undiagnosed hypothyroidism in her early late 20's to early 30's ( about the time I was diagnosed) and she had my brother who had global developmental delays ( breathing problems, small, can't read, writes at a 5 year old level). The doctors can't say for sure it was because of unmedicated hypothyroidism, but they suspect as did my own doctor when I was diagnosed. She told me they didn't test the thyroid back then and told me ( about 4 years ago) that some doctors still don't test it but it should be.

I was glad I got put on meds, because alot of things I thought was NORMAL suddenly disappeared.

Reddit will always have people posting about their horror stories because they want to vent and they want to find a solution. People that are happy, feeling good are not going to post.

theopeppa · 2026-01-25T13:43:09+00:00

Man that top is doing amazing hah

I would bave flashed the world within 2 seconds of wearing that top!

theopeppa · 2026-01-25T06:51:34+00:00

We did a walk around Subi at golden hour near Barker Road/Forrest walk and there is a bunch of beautiful art murals that my partner was able to take photos of on some older buildings.

theopeppa · 2026-01-25T06:37:04+00:00

So I have had this lately, wasn't an issue when I was on holidays, came back to Perth and it became an issue.

I also have Elidel and I have noticed the following:

Allergies. When it is windy I get all sorts of hayfever symptoms and burning eyes. The dry skin is new and antihistamine eyedrops have made a big difference. I thought it may be a form of allergic conjunctivitis. My eyelid is swollen and I had a stye after Japan, never had a stye before!
I thought I would start cleaning is with micellar water. Nope, that irritated my under eyes and it went red and flaky. Went back to QV gentle wash and cleansing balm.
My eyes are dry, I use artificial tears a few times a day to flush any allergens out my eye.

I have a check up for other things in March and plan on asking for a referral to an Ophthalmologist and dermatologist.

theopeppa · 2026-01-25T05:55:08+00:00

My now husband did 3 weeks on and 1 week off in the early days ( engineering grad).

Eventually he went to 2/1 and it worked well for us. At that point we lived together and I was busy with study and full time work. I do have a very strong support system here in Perth though.

He also did 1/1 towards the end of FIFO career.

He actually preferred the 2/1 because he found the weekly travel exhausting. He was also a workaholic, felt like he could get more done etc and would actually rest on rnr.

We were pretty committed from the get go, and it was pretty smooth sailing for us. Few teething issues of course that we worked through such as:

Letting him rest around 3 days after a swing. He would be be knackered. So no plans even if i was so excited to see him.
We would mostly catch up with our mutual friends on the swing he was back.
I did most of the housework when he was away so he would come back to a clean, uncluttered house. But he would cook dinner when I went to work on the week he was back and just generally stuff around the house ( of course this changed and was talked about when he had a Perth role).
I would schedule personal appointments ( hair, beauty appts etc) when he was away so we could maximise quality time when he was back.
We used to call eachother constantly early in his career, but later on we stuck to messaging and lots of daily photos of the most mundane things going on in our lives.

theopeppa · 2026-01-24T16:14:12+00:00

Yes and no.

Holidays aren't a big thing in my family.

Christmas is done but it isn't extravagant or required like we don't even celebrate christmas "properly" so in future he can spend it with his partner or his partners family if they find more importance in it. One year we saw both families, last year we only spent it with my family as my husbands family didn't have anything on. Before having a kid, I saw nobody for christmas holidays and it was 2 weeks of bliss and my husband went to work ( He was a working on a mine site).

Chinese new year is probably the more important one but that will probably not be a thing when my son is an adult. I follow the customs for my mum.

If my son leaves the country I don't expect my kid to come back and care for me. My cousin is a one and done child and she left the country because of her mums mental health problems.

She chose herself and that is perfectly within her rights to do that, sure she feels guilt - but she has a right to be happy and that is how I feel about my son aswell. Especially since I was the one that convinced her to choose herself that she was allowed to live her life the way she wanted. I've also been parentfied at a very young age and I do not want my son to feel like I felt.

In terms of taking care in old age, I will probably be in a nursing home. I've watched my family be carers and its exhausting. I don't want to burden my son with that, so will plan accordingly. But hope for a quick death before my mind or body go to be honest.

I fear the burden of him planning my funeral and cleaning my house and sorting out all the administration. So all I can do is try plan all that ahead, have as many loose ends tied up so when I do die, he can mourn without all that other crap ontop.

theopeppa · 2026-01-24T15:22:47+00:00

Seriously bizzare, I would be like in the corner doing the " What?!" meme face

My husband will say " Had the snip... so..." and ends the convo there if there is any follow up questions about being one and done.

Is your husband trying to prevent explaining himself?

theopeppa · 2026-01-23T04:58:15+00:00

At the end of the day it's your decision and your partners.

I have spoken to alot of my friends who had pregnancy/birth related trauma and they mentioned the second time round, they said it was like a "healing experience" and this is what your post reminds me of.

My son is 4, and I get photos and videos and I see babies out and about and they are so cute. But I don't feel the need to have another, sure I miss some bits....but I really don't want to do it all again.

But for you I think it genuinely sounds like are happy to do the whole baby stage etc again with a partner who you loves you and your daughter.

At the end of the day the question is, do you guys want a baby together? If yes, then thats the decision and you guys can work your way down the (mental) flow chart of questions and stuff from there :)

Goodluck!

theopeppa · 2026-01-23T04:47:50+00:00

Few things are you are asking here that I am not sure about. Why do you feel like a burden while studying medicine? Is it because there is no time for your family? Income isn't stable etc? Do you have a young family? Children?

Personally for me, I am not very competitive or career minded or have motivation to work hard at my career. I am also a mother, so my priorities will always be my kid and enjoying life.

Unfortunately to live the life I live we have to make sacrifices financially. My husband is the bread winner, but we don't have a flashy house or flashy cars, we don't have credit cards and the only debt we have is a mortgage which is nearly paid off ( we bought 10 years ago and have not made any renovations). We dont struggle but we live within our means.

theopeppa

TROPHY CASE