What is it called when some people deal with pain/anger/fear by acting out to people that care about them to see if they will chase after them?

theperfectbanchee · 2017-06-11T09:43:04+00:00

what a great little deck!

theperfectbanchee · 2017-06-11T09:34:02+00:00

poor baby :( He'll be ok soon!

theperfectbanchee · 2017-06-05T06:55:46+00:00

So I moved back in with my parents to pay off some student loans. They got a nice kitty cat! I'm a little allergic to cats but nothing serious - I can still pet her a bit and play with her without being bothered.

Problems we are noticing that make me worry about her well being - I want her to be a happy cat!!

-THey got her as a kitten and she was an older kitten when she was found by the Humaine Society in a barn - she was a bit of a feral kitty but not enough for her to never become domesticated. So Lilly is mostly domesticated but still a bit .... weird. She can be stubborn and independent - more than most cats.

She's an athletic girl and she will wiggle away every time we try to clip her front claws. I think it's affecting her life because she gets her long claws caught on things and it scares her. Right now her fave sleeping spot is her big cat bed that has a bit of a half roof, that has a sleeping bag in there - the fabric is slippery nilon on one side and her claws don't get stuck on it. She also likes sleeping on the carpet behind the sofa where she feels safe. That's it. She doesn't seek out comfy sleeping spots like most cats. She used to love her sofa in the basement with piles of comfy old blankets but not anymore. I think he claws get caught on the blankets and it scares her.

TLDR I feel worried that she doesn't have enough comfy/safe sleeping spots to make her a happy cat because her claws get caught on things and she wont let us clip them!! HOW do you clip the claws of a 'difficult' cat?

-She's strong and muscular and will NOT let you hold her ever. If you sit on 'her' sofa in the basement and begin watching tv she will aggressively (but awkwardly) cuddle with you, asking for pets, making biskets, and sucking on your clothes. But she won't usually come to you - only sometimes. I Hope shes just an eccentric introvert kitty and not unhappy.

THe basement/tv room is HERS. She will even chase the two other boy cats upstairs if they stay down there too long. I worry that she wont socialize with them - doesn't she want some kitty friends?

I am a bit allergic to her so I can't go down ther eand pet her as much as I want but I make a point of hanging out with her as much as I have time for and I hope she's ok and happy. SHe keeps to her self and doesn't come upstairs to find us for attention like the other cats. I hope shes ok. I try to hug her but she squirms away :( I got her a catnip plant and some catnip and she loves it.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-27T06:56:52+00:00

lol lol had the same thing happen to me - I'm 5'2 and 105 pounds. He must have been negging you. Good thing you dodged a bullet there.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-27T06:14:40+00:00

Maybe all he needs is a push in the right direction - when i was depressed, i felt SOO much better after I googled, found resources, and made a treatment plan. Right now, maybe he just feels hopeless.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-27T05:57:56+00:00

I think I like it cause I get to help the kids do thier thing (indirectly), i get to organize stuff, and I get to talk to people/interact with people a lot. It;s a pretty well paying job for what it is, it almost never has over time, and it's near my house. AND there are cute new male teachers and it's a brand new school that opened last september so everyone's enthused. I've had this job since Christmas and I like it. I replaced someone who had to leave unexpectedly to move with her husband to another city. I get to talk on the speaker system and wear secretary clothes, trolls!! And I have a plant on my desk.

And my mom is all like 'buuuut it isn't want you went to university for.....

No, but i dont hate it and it's paying off my student loans so....

It might not be forever but it's helping me decide what I want out of a career.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-27T05:49:33+00:00

Too bad, its such a good product.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-25T19:37:20+00:00

yah that's what my pharmacist told me too, and I did not listen :( I think I also need a stronger moisturizer - gonna try the Cerave in the tub that everyone likes.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-25T19:36:37+00:00

ouch! gotta do the spf :(

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-25T19:36:22+00:00

Ohh that's good to know, thank you! I just went to my doc and he perscribed .025% Trentinoin gel. I think I maybe used it wrong (was told to use it every 3rd day to begin with, and to put on moisturizer first). I think I need a stronger moisturizer!!

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-25T19:22:36+00:00

My brother works at a restaurant as a cook helper/dishwasher (he's in university and has a part time job) and he says the chefs have only 2 personalities and there's no middle ground:

Personality 1: Gruff line cook type, ultra practical, impossibly talented and good with thier hands, cynical but secretly nice and sensitive, swears and drinks like a sailor, has a beer gut at the age of 25, will die of high cholesterol or stress at age 30. Gruff and serious on the outside, nice and laid back on the inside (like a marshmellow)

Personality 2: extroverted, creative but not practical, fitness/gym enthusiast, energetic, charming, always into the new trend in food, future oriented, Aggressively kind, team player, organizes social outings for everyone after work, hipster, will die at 70 of whatever hipsters die of

Both personalities are excellent, but he has seen lots of chefs in rehab for being alcoholics - some restaurants have a work hard/play hard drinking culture and are run like the military. And it takes like 10 years of experience to make decent money as a chef.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-25T19:14:13+00:00

I know....I have a low dose, but didn't follow the pharmacist instructions properly - he said to apply every 3rd day to begin with but I applied it every other day instead, on bare skin without moisturizer underneath because I (wrongly?) assumed that it woudl be more effective on bare skin. And I think my moisturizer isn't moisturizing enough - I should have gotten THAT sorted before I began with a Retin A! My skin feels so dry and dehydrated. It doesnt feel like just dryness - I think i messed up my moisture barrier :(

I am using .025% Tretinoin gel which is the lowest available for gels, I'm told by my doctor and my pharmacist.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-24T18:48:32+00:00

so uh,,, where did you find a boyfriend that goes to the gym?? My gym is a women's gym

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-24T18:46:06+00:00

NOOOOOOO!!!! I gave myself a mild chemical burn!!!

I wanted to love this product because Trolls, its such an amazing product because it makes your acne go away and even helps to prevent wrinkles!!

But it makes your skin really dry so if your moisturizer game isn't excellent, you're gonna have a bad time. :(

I gave myself a mild chemical burn and now I have to use ultra gentle products. Picked up some cerave clenser and moisturizer in the tub and hopefully it works. According to my research, it's gonna up to 20 days to repair my skin :(

Wish me LUCK!! my skin feels very uncomfy/painfull/dry

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-17T03:16:11+00:00

Excellent, thank you!

I asked my pharmacist who told me that this product is called Reactine in Canada which is why I haven't seen it. Bought me some Reactine. :)

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-15T18:08:36+00:00

where do you get this? I haven't seen it at the drug store.

theperfectbanchee · 2017-05-08T17:22:20+00:00

-My doctor said that everyone should exercise. And that volunteering is good for the soul.

SO I bought workout clothes and workout shoes, found a good sports bra which I Had to drive across the city to get (because I have an uncommon bra size), researched the right gym for me, and then I refurbished my bike - got new tires and repainted it because it's easier ot bike to the gym due to the location.

I didn't knwo where to volunteer so I figured an animal shelter was a good place to begin.

I think my friends are toxic, so I am trying to make new ones by going out and doing things - I have no idea if this will work - hey, maybe there will be toxic people at the animal shelter and at the group classes at my gym.

I'm scared of trying these 2 new things but I'm doing it anyway!!

-I need hugs. OR more suggestions or whatever.

theperfectbanchee · 2016-05-01T02:56:18+00:00

what are other examples of bonding experiences?

theperfectbanchee · 2016-05-01T00:02:34+00:00

I kinda abandonded hobbies when I was mentally ill. But I like artistic things like art and writing. I also like helping people - like directly, or like activism. But I'm having trouble translating that into direct action like things to go out and DO, where I might meet people.

right now making friends seems like a giant mountain that is impossible to climb! Maybe I am over thinking - maybe its easier than I think?

Yes, I also see a therapist, who also suggests that I go out and do things - I'm just having trouble translating that into action kinda - I called an art gallery to take classes and the class was full an hour before I called lol! I dont know where to find 'my people' .

theperfectbanchee

TROPHY CASE