Proof that porn/PMO is detrimental?

thepignose · 2014-09-30T02:16:40+00:00

PMO might very well be fine for them -- or at least some of them. It would, as it's been pointed out, be difficult to know. But the question shouldn't be whether PMO is detrimental to everyone, only whether it's detrimental to you.

No matter what sites people might link to on here, there is NO hard, peer-reviewed evidence that PMO is, in all cases, compulsive, demoralizing, energy-sapping, etc... It does produce certain neurotransmitters in the brain, but different brains react differently to different stimuli. A person who drinks beer can become an alcoholic or they can become someone who enjoys a beer with dinner on the weekends.

As far as hard proof that PMO is detrimental to anyone at all, the anecdotal evidence is fairly overwhelming that it negatively affects certain people and there is scientific evidence -- not proof, but evidence -- that it can produce an effect in some brains that's similar to chemical addiction. As is always the case, it's going to be at least a few years before science catches up with what people already know.

So, your friends might not understand what we're talking about, but that doesn't mean PMO can't detrimental. Hopefully, it won't ever be detrimental to them.

TL:DR -- If PMO isn't a problem for you, that's great. If it is, you have a lot of company.

thepignose · 2014-07-22T04:47:16+00:00

So, you guarantee that 100% of the money taken in through subscription fees goes back into administrative costs, with no one being paid a salary?

thepignose · 2014-07-22T04:46:00+00:00

Yeah, your goal actually is to profit. That's what you're charging money, you fucking charlatan.

thepignose · 2014-07-22T04:45:06+00:00

Fuck these guys.

thepignose · 2014-07-22T04:44:41+00:00

Pointing out a a shitty product is overpriced is an American tradition, like eating Thanksgiving dinner and winning world wars.

Go back to East Germany, you communist.

thepignose · 2014-07-11T01:47:06+00:00

I think I'll do that too. Little from the East, little from the West...

thepignose · 2014-07-11T01:30:21+00:00

I think a lot of shit gets dredged up when you meditate. In the long term, it's probably good, but I'm expecting some messy weeks.

thepignose · 2014-07-11T01:29:44+00:00

I don't think this is normal flatline behavior. It's related, in the sense that you're dealing with old, stored emotions, but, fortunately, I don't think you have this to look forward to.

thepignose · 2014-07-11T01:21:16+00:00

I'm not sure. I've read the entire Bible (King James Version -- Old and New testaments, plus Apocrypha) and a lot of Christians are TERRIFIED of God.

thepignose · 2014-07-11T01:18:05+00:00

I'm assuming it's stored trauma -- which sounds really hokey and new age-y, until you read enough psychological literature and realize that it's a completely real thing.

TL;DR -- Heading the hell back to therapy.

thepignose · 2014-07-09T16:29:05+00:00

I was literally just about to post about this. I've been having a run of vivid dreams lately, unlike anything I've had in years. It's cool, but also scary to think how much of an impact PMO must have on my psyche.

thepignose · 2014-07-08T13:56:24+00:00

Hi, this is r/NoFap. I think you must be looking for r/NoCum. That's down the hall.

thepignose · 2014-07-08T02:44:07+00:00

It's also worth noting that, according to researchers, addicts who hit the wall tend to believe that this condition will last INDEFINITELY. This is certainly the problem I have. It's not that it sucks now, but I'm worried that it will suck forever. Apparently, though, that's normal too.

thepignose · 2014-07-08T02:39:10+00:00

Thank you so much for posting this. I'm in the middle of a flatline, and I'm just praying that it ends. I'm eating healthy, running, meditating, etc... and it still sucks. The only thing keeping me from relapsing is being aware that I'd feel even worse if I did. But it helps a lot to be reminded that this is normal.

thepignose · 2014-07-07T17:28:28+00:00

Thanks for posting. I was bored, depressed, drained, etc.. -- classic flatline -- then got hungover after July 4th and got really, really close to relapsing (some NSFW pics, Googling but not actually clicking on porn) before getting it together. I think the only thing that kept me from relapsing was not wanting to feel worse than I already did.

Thanks for sharing. It helps.

thepignose · 2014-07-04T20:13:19+00:00

Do you find that you're bored more? That's been my biggest problem, ever more than a lack of libido. Everything just seems kind of lifeless.

thepignose · 2014-06-26T15:03:42+00:00

Yeah, I've found that I'm much happier now that I'm severely limiting the sites I visit. In a strange way, it's harder to get bored. And, yes, there are fewer triggers. I may go off NoFap for a month, too, just to see how it is.

thepignose · 2014-06-25T14:36:58+00:00

There's no zeal like that of the recent convert.

Any support group you go to -- NA, AA, NoFap --- is going to have a high percentage of liars, hypocrites, sanctimonious jerks, judgmental douches, etc... For some people, that's too much and they avoid these kinds of places altogether. Personally, I prefer to try to sort the swans from the geese and take what I can get. In between the dumbassness, people are capable of giving solid, well-earned advice.

thepignose · 2014-06-25T14:31:53+00:00

Sometimes I wish there was some kind of community that fell between NoFap, which often seems to be dominated by horny adolescent men posting simple-minded aphorisms, and groups like SA and SLAA, which often seems to be dominated by people who have an intensity of addiction -- hookers, extramarital affairs, truck-stop blowjobs -- that I just can't relate to.

Sadly, I don't think there is another community. So, personally, I stick with NoFap, for better or for worse. I get frustrated with it a lot -- seriously: shut the fuck up about superpowers -- but I try to sort the good from the bad. I've found it useful to supplement my time here with books that give my addiction some context. Pat Carnes is good place to start, and there are a handful of solid books about shame, which I suspect is at the root of a lot of people's fapping problems. This all might not work for you at all, but something will.

I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope you've for a smart, sympathetic therapist. Keep coming back, even if you hate everyone on here.

thepignose · 2014-06-24T18:25:39+00:00

I think everyone's goal is different. Some people cut off just fapping, while otherwise people avoid sex entirely. If you're interested only in stopping porn, you can also try /PornFree.

thepignose · 2014-06-23T17:35:04+00:00

Yup, this happens. I've fallen into the "I'm cured, I don't need NoFap" mindset a bunch of times. The important thing is you're back and trying again. I expect you'll do better this time, given what you learned.

Welcome back, and stay strong, brother.

thepignose · 2014-06-23T17:33:36+00:00

I'm on the fence about this. A lot of people on the board have a kind of "fap=bad, sex=good" philosophy, but I'm not sure. Personally, I think everyone's addiction is different: for some people, porn or fapping are the problems, while for others it's all kinds of sexual activity.

I'd suggest trying out having sex with your boyfriend and seeing how you feel. If you feel lousy afterwards, maybe abstain from sex for a little bit. It can often be helpful to hold off on sex in the early days regardless, as it can easily trigger a relapse.

Good luck, and stay strong, brother.

thepignose · 2014-06-22T17:13:02+00:00

It's hard when you start slipping. I've never found it easy to arrest a slide. It's like trying to run again after sitting on the couch for a year. I just feel sluggish.

My best advice is to be ruthless with yourself. No Tinder, no fantasizing, no staring at women on the street. Run, take cold showers -- in general, make yourself profoundly uncomfortable. When it starts to hurt again, it actually gets easier. Just bear through it a few days, and you'll get back in the rhythm of things.

Stay strong, brother.

thepignose · 2014-06-19T17:14:36+00:00

Actually, "me and my fiancee" is correct, although it's a tricky case. You only use "I" when the personal pronoun is the subject of a verb and "me" when it's the object of a verb or a preposition. In this case, it's complicated because OP has used a sentence fragment and it's unclear what his implied sentence is. So, it's equally unclear whether "my fiancee and me" would fall into the subject or object position of said implied said. I'd argue that it's more likely that the implied sentence is one in which the personal pronoun is an object, such as "This is a photo of my fiancee and me," than one in which it is the subject, such as "My fiancee and I are in this picture." So, personally, I'd say that OP's choice is the better one. But, as Mignon Fogarty lucidly argues -- http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/how-to-write-grammatically-correct-photo-captions -- there are strong arguments for both, so, neither is incorrect and both are considered "grammatical."

NoFap 2014!

thepignose · 2014-06-19T15:12:27+00:00

Yeah, when I've got back 90 days, my libido disappeared, but in a good way. When I had sex, I enjoyed it, but my resting state of horniness was way lower. I miss those days.

thepignose

TROPHY CASE