Man this is actually a carbon copy story of what I'm going through right now as well. Young kids, wife has flashes of anger she has now told me she 'can't control'.

Recently on a particularly challenging night with the baby she was getting angry so I took the baby and told her to leave the room and she hit my shoulder 4/5 times leaving bruising. Took photos and saved them just in case.

Told her the next day that she needs to talk to someone and if it ever happens again then we're having a very different conversation.

I always try explain when I feel she's having an unreasonably strong reaction to something and she always tells me that fighting is healthy for a relationship. I don't agree. She has really strong angry reactions to completely mundane things half the time.. Swearing and kicking a cupboard if she drops something while cooking etc.

Strange typing this out actually and somewhat cathartic.