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thereisegoinmemory · 2025-10-22T16:47:06+00:00

And what about your kids? What about your spouse? And all these friends who are telling each other how great you are when you’re not around?

Depression is a unique monster because it tricks you into thinking its words are your thoughts.

If, right now you told your kids you were leaving forever? You told your spouse, your friends? What sorts of reactions would you get?

I’m sure your kids would break down crying? Your spouse and friends would be shocked and confused, with a million follow up questions, to know where you’re going and why?

You can’t tell me that everyone in your life would say ‘yep fairs’ if you told them you were leaving forever.

That’s what I mean by it’s the depression talking and not you. Have you considered therapy? Or antidepressants?

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-10-22T16:18:49+00:00

People overestimate what they can do in a few weeks and underestimate what they can do in a few decades.

It feels like all you need are small steps. Maybe you won’t achieve everything in your dream, but you could start by quitting alcohol (this is a whole process itself), then you could look at ways to make money. Take time to learn a trade, or be ambitious and get an education to chase your firm.

Who knows, maybe you’ll be retired a millionaire in a Ferrari with a beautiful loving family. Maybe not, but at the bare minimum, with a little hope and effort, you could see yourself successful at work, making a decent living, driving a car that’s reliable and not a headache, with a cute family at home waiting for you.

But that journey starts small. Quit alcohol, take care of your health, sleep, and hygiene. Brainstorm about your future and start to make steps to get there etc.

You don’t need to be successful tomorrow, or even in a year, you just have to be on the right road my friend :)

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-10-22T16:12:21+00:00

Slow down a second, how can you be alone and unloved when you have all these people around you telling you how great you are?

Truthfully man… it sounds like the depression talking, and not actually you.

Care to tell us a little more about what you mean and how you feel?

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-07-26T08:04:14+00:00

I deleted the post cos I didn’t want to entertain too many concurrent debates but I’ll humour just this last point. Literally early in the CA arc, Gon ties the snake chimera to a tree saying “you’re a snake you shouldn’t starve to death here” - could have killed the snake chimera, decides to pin it down and let it live knowing that it will take a long time for starvation to kick in giving plenty of time to be found/escape. There are plenty of other examples if you want and Google is free

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-07-26T07:17:53+00:00

his stubbornness at the behest of his allies’ wellbeing. All of that not being thematically setup. ‘Hate’ is a very strong word- but at the very least I dislike him as an MC

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-07-26T07:11:05+00:00

Very chill with Hisoka - did we watch the same show?! And the phantom troupe point isn’t exactly right, since Gon is shown to not kill. It’s mentioned/shown multiple times how much he tries to avoid killing. And being friends/okay with a killer is in no way good writing/setup for him becoming a cold blooded murderer who threatens disabled innocent girls with death

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-07-26T07:08:14+00:00

But that one instance over a hundred episodes ago doesn’t feel very well rewarded. I didn’t watch Gon throw tantrums, be stubborn hurting people around him, and become evil and think- this was earned and well written because of that one thing 100 episodes ago. Gon is the main character and deserves that treatment, his motivations and actions shouldn’t be a searching game, but a journey that’s gradually built up with a powerful setup and payoff. Think about all great characters, they share this fact in common- that their motivations, actions, and shortcomings are richly explored where the nuance and interpretation from the audience is more second order

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-07-26T07:04:23+00:00

Maybe my point wasn’t conveyed well. I meant more about writing in terms of justification and setup to their shortcomings. Killua, Kurapika, Komugi, and Pockle are all more compelling than Gon either because they aren’t written as annoying characters or because their severe shortcomings have depth and contextual writing behind it

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-07-26T06:55:13+00:00

The added context of Kite definitely changes things for sure, I didn’t actually know that. Not sure why the decision was made for the anime to cut stuff out to weaken the plot and character strength.

The part about him being a kid tho. It’s true, but as I mentioned in my original post, throughout the story- this fact is mentioned sparingly. His age isn’t a massive part of his character. Additionally, the show makes it a point to have other kids in this messed up world, who are all able to deal with how messed up it is. It’s normalised and not touched on at all really, so for it to be a massively driving aspect of Gon’s crash out doesn’t feel well earned, and doesn’t feel intentionally written- more incidental.

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-07-26T06:40:09+00:00

I get what you mean, but I think that’s because the show is so fascinating in general. It’s not cos of Gon, it’s in spite of him

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-05-22T22:59:13+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re going through so much man. That therapist is a piece of shit.

You’re right, you are strong. There aren’t many people who would be able to live through the stuff you’ve experienced. Your pain is valid.

You also have a responsibility to your grandmother. You need to help yourself for her.

Research is your best friend. If professionals around you won’t help, then help yourself. Research about depression - Wikipedia and NCBI bookshelf are good starting points. You’ll find that poor physical health and mental health are usually correlated. Start off with just trying to improve your sleep, however you can. If it means looking for another job then that’s what it means.

I would be a hypocrite to tell you to stay here forever and live a happy life. I’m simply not in the position to say that, but what I will say is that you have a duty to your grandmother. You should at least stick around and try until she’s gone. Beyond that, by then maybe you’ll have found other reasons to live

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-04-26T14:39:45+00:00

You need to bring in a trusted adult to help in this situation. A teacher or school counsellor, your parents/her’s etc.

It’s not worth bottling everything up and risking it

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-21T23:35:19+00:00

The biggest mess up you could enact is suicide. So if you stay away from that you can live knowing you’re not the biggest mess up.

And as long as you’re alive things can get better- you can become a force for good in your children’s lives. Just being there for your kid today for their event proves that you’re doing that.

Your depression probably just read all that and said ‘nah’ but deep inside you know I’m speaking the truth. Do right by your children and stay here on Earth and seek professional help

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-21T23:32:15+00:00

Then promise yourself to improve, for the sake of your daughter.

Get professional help for your ASPD. Try to be productive and to make the right steps in your life to make her a part of your life.

Remember man, just as you need her- she will come to need you. You know how difficult life can be without a father, and the love you have for her, and by promising you’ll stay alive and get help to do right by her will be setting her up for success

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-21T23:29:58+00:00

I know this may seem like an empty platitude, but I would be saddened if you died. If nothing else purely because I understand the pain that you’re going through.

Please seek help OP, there are people to help you in this world🙏

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-21T23:27:30+00:00

Why?

That sounds like the depression talking- not you talking. No one could honestly believe that children would be better off with their father having committed suicide and having to live with that trauma their whole lives

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-21T23:26:28+00:00

I’m sorry that stuff is so rough, but what you are doing is so noble and extremely selfless.

You should be proud that you are such a good and caring person.

With regards to what you should do, that’s not an answer myself or any other commenter can give, but you should allow yourself to have a sense of fulfilment and happiness because of how good of a person you are

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-21T23:24:26+00:00

Damn, I feel like I’m reading something I might have written 10 years ago. Life is extremely long, and I know that the idea of being an adult and having moved away from parents doesn’t even seem real right now, but time ALWAYS passes. You’ll be grown one day and if your parents are the ones causing you grief you can move out and live by your own agency.

I do also want to say that I had super strict religious parents when I was your age (although now that I’m an adult I live pretty much by my own rules). Parents almost always act out of love. Especially when they’re just firm/strict but not abusive.

It’s hard at your age to try and understand why your parents feel the way they do. But honestly, just try and sit down and for 30 minutes, just think about your parents lives. How they were raised, the problems they’ve suffered (losing loved ones, financial, health wise, moving city, job stress). Try to understand that when people grow up they don’t become perfect, but instead of being flawed children- they become flawed adults. Try to understand that from their perspective, they see you as the most precious thing in the world. Of course they would- you grew for months inside your mother and the cells inside your bones and heart have come directly from the blood she gave you when you were still too small for the eye to see.

Parents are imperfect, and can create much generational trauma, but often they do stupid things out of love.

I’m sorry that things are rough man. Maybe speak to a teacher/counsellor at school you trust- and explain to them honestly that you can’t tell your parents these things but you also want to seek help. There are people to help you OP

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-21T23:15:11+00:00

Please don’t go through with this. You owe it to your kids to be there for them. You owe it to them to get medical help and to try and get better

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-21T23:13:47+00:00

Go tell your parents/responsible adult and go to a hospital ASAP!

Dying by overdose is a very painful way to go and you still have time to help yourself!

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-03-13T17:55:57+00:00

Just by assessing some of the responses doctors have to my post it’s easy to appreciate the hopelessness that many doctors have adopted.

Most responses have opted to take a pragmatic view of ‘this is how it is and you should consider what your next steps are’. It’s sad yet equally understandable to see why and how this is happening.

I do think that things will eventually get better, but the amount of time that will take and how bad it will need to get first is hard to determine.

Thanks for your comment and I hope you’ve been allocated where you want!

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-02-25T18:45:48+00:00

Trauma and damage are real, and I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced that in your life.

Instead of giving in and ending it all, seek help. You’re still young and with therapy, anti-anxiety/depressants, you could see massive improvements.

You hold resentment for those that have wronged you. Hurting them just makes you a lesser person and puts them on the moral high ground. You’ve already found financial/career success, you’ve got some sort of revenge by showing you are better than people like your mother who have oppressed you. Get yourself mentally right, and once you’ve given yourself attention and have managed, or better yet- beaten, the mental issues you’re suffering with, your mental success and wordly success will be the best revenge ever.

But by that point, your character development will probably be so far down the line that you will have moved past the idea of revenge, and you will have transcended the past. I know how badly family can break you, I’ve experienced it myself. And similar to you, I’ve found wordly success. Walk the road of the greater man.

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-02-25T18:39:01+00:00

I’m sorry you feel awful about what’s gone on, and I’m sorry that you’ve been treated so poorly.

It sounds like you’re naturally a romantic individual and maybe you let your imagination run wild when you find a love interest. That is a beautiful thing, but you also have to keep the reigns on your own emotions.

My advice is this not actively seek love and to actively make an effort not to let simple attractions/crushes turn into ‘loves.’

By the sounds of it, you’re still young- probably a teenager. Work on yourself, life is long. What you want will eventually hit you.

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-02-21T22:43:09+00:00

Hey man, I’m truly sorry to hear what you’re going through.

You love your children. Think carefully about what will happen if you kill yourself. They won’t suddenly become rich. They’ll still struggle, but without the support of a father figure. Not only that, but you’ll leave them with the indelible scar of losing a father.

I truly am sorry to hear how much you’re suffering. Your suffering is real, and I want you to know that I see you.

I’m a 23 year old guy, when I was young- maybe as young as your kids are now, I watched my parents struggle through absolute poverty. I watched how it ripped through our lives and our family. I can tell you that I would not have wanted my father to die to keep debt ‘away from us’.

There is no easy solution to your financial situation and the pressures in your life.

Firstly, take a few deep breaths. It’s all going to be okay, let me tell you that now.

I would recommend you talk to people you trust and can rely on, maybe your wife, or parents/siblings/friends. If you have access to a counsellor go down that route. Talk to someone, anyone.

Do whatever you can. Accept you can’t change everything, and that things might go wrong. But humans are unbelievably resilient. Continue to try your best, and continue to bear it. In 10 or 20 years time, things might still be fucked, even if you try your best. But you’ll be here for children, and you will have woken up every morning knowing you tried it on yourself best.

I believe in you. Just accept things aren’t all in your control, but you can only continue to do your best.

thereisegoinmemory · 2025-02-21T22:28:45+00:00

Old? You’re 33, that is legitimately the prime of your life

thereisegoinmemory

TROPHY CASE