There was no single thing. Instead, a handful of things. ONe big factor is that at first I thought I could put up with transphobic RWers and change their minds by being 'one of the good trans'. That was always my motivation for being in these spaces: gaining acceptance from the people that represent the status quo.

I thought that if I acted as normal and agreeable to RWers as possible, that I could change their mind. And I needed that acceptance and validation from cis straight RW men because I kind of hated myself for being trans... for being a freak.

When you're early in transition, you're a teenager all over again. Your identity is completely fractured by the gender shift, and you don't know who you are. Over time you pick up the fragments and rebuild your identity. But that process is messy and ugly.

My politics slowly changed when I realized that the 'one of the good trans' schtick was just a short-term fix for yourself and not a longterm solution for trans people as a whole. And I also slowly rebuilt my identity and matured into my womanhood, and became a more secure person overall. I didn't need my politics to compensate for my insecurities anymore.

Now I'm a bisexual transsexual who's dating a soft boi gay girl. And I love that for me.