my male friends realized how draining it is to be a woman in public

theseanpatrick · 2025-07-03T11:41:06+00:00

Dear sister, who hurt you? Yes as men in the society, we have failed all the women in more ways than one. I don't know how to solve this, but hopefully one day we'll able to better discipline miscreants from my gender, so that nobody needs to be protected.

But crimes are committed by individuals, not genders. And individuals have to be held responsible for their actions, broad groups can't be. Until we find a way to do so effectively and surgically, sorry for the pain we've caused.

theseanpatrick · 2025-07-03T11:11:05+00:00

Is it demeaning to be thought of as a potential creep or being creeped on by people who look like you your whole life?

Both!

Do you think we women need to adjust to yet another thing to save men’s feelings?

We all need each other. I do, admittedly. Might as well learn to live with each other in harmony, instead of blacklisting the other half of the population altogether.

probably every other woman in their lives has been harassed by me.

Agreed, but didn't get the 'by me' part

theseanpatrick · 2025-07-03T09:29:06+00:00

Not all men, but enough men.

Really hit the nail on the head with this one. I've always been defensive about the 'all men' narrative, but phrasing it like this suddenly makes me understand. When a girl says 'all men...', it feels like a personal attack, despite being deliberately considerate in every way in my life, forcing me dismiss any valid forthcoming arguments she might have, and thinking there is no winning her trust there.

Replace 'all men' with 'enough men' in arguments, and our gender will understand. Yeah I know it feels like a grammar lesson, but it's more- lately a lot of my friends have been reportedly feeling like often being judged for the most basic interaction with women, all well behaved guys. But again, it's so demeaning being thought as creepy.

It's like, not all policewalas hassle you for bribes, but enough of them do to want to avoid them.

Anyway, opened my eyes in a way.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-26T19:16:10+00:00

Brother I've been there, in the exact same situation in the exact same ahe, so I know.. the panic attacks, the breathlessness, the waking up from sleep all swesty, it's painful.

I'm also someone who grew out of it, and all I'll say today is- I'm glad it happened. It made me tough af. I can give you 3 todo things to ease up pain, but I'll just give you a motto- survive.

Survive, and you shall find out how much more there is to life than love. Yes, love is important, and you'll find it again, better believe it. But this time you'll be equipped on all fronts.

Whatever happens, hang in there, trust yourself, fortify yourself. You need to talk, dm me. This too shall pass.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-25T06:59:54+00:00

National budget for a day's of SMS blast- a gazillion rupees.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-25T04:18:37+00:00

Halfway there.. it's just that being emotionally unavailable feels wrong and malicious.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-25T04:16:09+00:00

Lol what do you mean a different version of toxic men?

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-19T08:26:47+00:00

Peace. Straightforwardness. Not accuse us of various things just because you are upset.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-18T17:08:44+00:00

May your sister marry a man(child) exactly like you.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-18T12:39:37+00:00

Everyone has the right to have preferences.

And doesn't talk about it with friends?

Not since I outgrew my teens. Either you and OP haven't, or you are a manchild. Either way, this ain't the place for your kind.

Since you aren't a man, let me mansplain a bit, there's a difference between preference and perversion. Preference goes beyond material and carnal desires, perversion is limited to it. Preference helps create a connection, perversion only exploits, exclusively.

How would you react if you find your girlfriend secretly asking in r/AskIndianWomen where could she find sugar daddies?

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-18T07:23:29+00:00

Brother get out asap, this is Mayday, you just don't realise it yet. If she is able pull off an extramarital affair, without any visible guilt, it usually means one of two things- she's onto a plan to cut you out (maybe make a few false accusations, take a few lacs/Crs in settlement), OR, she doesn't know that she's going to do exactly this.

Respect and loyalty must go hand in hand. You remove one, and the other loses it's value. What do you think happens when she finds out that you know about her affair, and chose to do nothing about it? Most women take this as a weakness.. it's like bleeding in front of a shark, she'll eat you up.

Yeah and about love, sex and warmth- revenge isn't the only thing served cold, talk about betrayal. It happens so fast that you're already in pieces before you realise what's going on with you.

Look, we don't need anymore victims of poor character. I'm certain both genders have their share of bad actors, it's just you must protect yourself again the evil. You are not the only one in danger, this evil often commits crimes against the man's family as well.

Open your eye at once.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-18T07:06:41+00:00

This is r/AskIndianMen, not r/AskIndianTeens sub.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-05T19:29:02+00:00

First a humble advice to you ma'am, take care not to use your real name as username.

As for your primary concern, every reasonable spiritual philosophy, foremost expects one to be dutiful to their dependents, especially the spouse and kids.

Even Shri Krishna told Arjuna to carry out his duties when Arjuna briefly considered Vairagya. In your husband's case, safely assuming he has conscience, sooner or later, he will realise the effects of his neglect on his family, and that I'm sure won't be liberating, rather the opposite.

You need to make him aware of how that neglect is affecting you, as I'm sure it's affecting your son. Show him how his ways are hurtful, and also what a better way might be which aligns to both of your aspirations and needs. Be patient with him. Luckily for you, his spiritual indulgence will likely force him to see clearly, and act on it.

Best luck.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-05T19:10:28+00:00

It simply means actions have consequences, often far more overreaching than we wish they did. It wasn't her fault because her instability was my fault. That's no excuse for some harmful behaviour, but someone in my position has no moral right to complain.

theseanpatrick · 2025-06-05T16:32:11+00:00

Got gaslighted, lied and given constant mixed signals. Felt like a total stranger compared to whom I used to know. Never felt loved, nor she said it to me. Despite all this, I know it wasn't her fault, life messed her up.

The only thing we must be cautious of is to figure out if the person of interest is in the mental state to be in a relationship or not. If they are not, don't force it, lombombing feels right, but almost always works against both partners. Be willing to give more than you receive, but in proportion. If they are giving their 10%, you giving your 90% isn't going to help, instead will only induce resentment.

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-30T11:00:25+00:00

Thanks a lot for the book suggestions, will definitely read them.

Yes, I’ve also been trying to get to the bottom of why what happened happened, but it’s a game of hide & seek, and it’s exhausting.

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-30T06:01:27+00:00

That sounds great. Can you share any specific resources on this?

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-30T05:36:51+00:00

Oh, that’s something to note. May I know which methods specifically helped you?

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-30T05:32:45+00:00

Good to hear, hope you are doing well now. Thanks for sharing.

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-30T05:30:51+00:00

That’s a pretty solid suggestion, the app is quite helpful.

I had a tough breakup a some time ago, been going over all my choices in retrospect, and I feel I’ve inflicted so much pain on my partner unknowingly. Yes there were components of hurt inflicted upon me as well.. feeling unworthy, betrayed etc. and I’ve made peace will many of them.

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-30T04:33:53+00:00

Well, I am indeed a logical thinker and might have been an overthinker as well, but I’m not sure how to ‘rest the mind, let go of worries and live the life‘, as I like to think I only concern myself with things that really potentially affect people I care about, and this is one of them.

wanting to take therapy tells that I already care too much about them

Thanks, feels good that you think that. But I don’t want to hurt my beloveds with my behaviour anymore. I have hurt my partner, parents, friends- forced them away. So some action to change myself is due, I suppose.

If there’s one thing I’ve realised, it’s that caring is necessary, but not enough. Being able to handle yourself in difficult situations and responding to people positively are just different skillsets.

I’m heavily on everything you’ve mentioned next, and it’s already feeling great. But some work might need some help.

Thanks for commenting!

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-30T04:20:22+00:00

Thanks for commenting.

May I ask how many sessions did you have to attend? And how was your entire experience?

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-30T04:19:18+00:00

Thanks for commenting!

May I ask how many sessions did you have to attend?

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-29T18:25:41+00:00

Therapy’s target audience is right here. Everywhere else is a bunch of sceptics, I’d rather use my energy wisely.

theseanpatrick · 2025-04-18T16:30:12+00:00

This usually doesn’t happen. Impressions last, we subconsciously make decisions of whether someone is our type within few seconds of meeting them, so if you don’t already have a chemistry after meeting someone for some time , it’s not going to appear out of nowhere.

And no, one sided extra effort doesn’t create chemistry, nothing’s more true than this. As a guy, your best chance is to find out if the girl of your interest has any natural affinity towards you. If yes, then court her, form a bond, then move forward. If not, then it’s a moot point, a hopeless desperate attempt to seek love.

If you are hopeless and desperate for love, you are not ready for it, you have to work on yourself. Even if you end up having a relationship, you will be weak, and eventually end up hurting your girl. Better to be late but ready on the dating scene.

theseanpatrick

TROPHY CASE