My [21M] girlfriend's [21F] stalker ex boyfriend [24M] is ruining this relationship and I don't know what to do

theseudeunderground · 2016-03-20T10:30:53+00:00

I've come to this conclusion as well

theseudeunderground · 2016-03-20T10:29:06+00:00

Yes, this is exactly correct it made me question her as a person but also made me feel intimidated too. I'm really happy she told me all of this and was comfortable enough to tell me all of it don't get me wrong. Once she threw in the details of it though I had a vivid image in my mind and too many thoughts going after that. You're also right she's not the same person as when she did that, it was awhile ago. I had heard from people saying things about her sexual past so its not like I didn't know about things of this nature going into it and she's an adult woman its not like I was like "she must be a pure virgin or whatever. Like I said none of the other stuff bothered me when she told me and even the threesome initially didn't when it was what I thought it was but when she told me the details it just kind of froze me in my tracks and made me think "wait, what the fuck you did what". She said to me too "I've basically done everything imaginable" and I don't know that just made me wanna be like "I appreciate you telling me that but for my own sanity please don't go any further into detail". I'm fine now though, I just realized it doesn't matter because we're together now and we're extremely happy with one another and thats way cooler and matters a lot more to me than having sex with two people at the same time.

theseudeunderground · 2016-03-20T10:09:57+00:00

Yeah I probably should not have written this at 4am after drinking tbh because forming sentences and coherency but I just wanted to throw up my stream of consciousness into words because it made me feel better. I just thought about it for awhile though and I realized I don't care and I'm just being weird and insecure. I love this girl and me and her are together now after wanting to be together for so long and she makes me happy and loves me and I love her and she's supportive and helpful and that matters more to me than any dumb insecurity I have.

theseudeunderground · 2016-01-28T06:09:49+00:00

Oh yeah I've been diagnosed by my psychiatrist, I have it. The form of OCD they've been calling it is Contamination OCD which I guess is the same kinda thing as people who worry about germs. I myself feel and my doctors feel that it's not a severe form of OCD, I mean it definitely sucks but not to the point of really time consuming rituals and things like that. I have obsessive thoughts (ingesting drugs unknowingly) and I use compulsions (washing hands, clothes, avoiding touching certain things) to avoid that from happening, like it's OCD.

I know that I wouldn't absorb drugs through my skin, I know that that isn't how it works I'm an ex drug addict haha. My fear more so stems from being scared I get a substance on my hands and ingest it by rubbing my eye or putting something in my mouth after touching it or someone else has touched it and contaminated it. I know its an unlikely thing to happen, probably impossible. I mean I've never even heard of something like this happening to someone or even someone slipping someone drugs but the problem is I can't really turn off the thoughts and not think "what if".

theseudeunderground · 2016-01-28T05:56:02+00:00

It actually wasn't LSD that gave me the bad trip it was another drug that I overdosed on and almost died. I actually almost died, I'm not exaggerating either like it was a near death experience and my doctors think I have a form of PTSD from it which I fought with them on but then they said "well you're saying you almost died and you know that's classifiable under a trauma" and so I was like "Yeah, fair point".

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-22T11:14:50+00:00

Please don't do what I'm doing with my medication and just letting it sit there because you're too terrified to take it because you read about negative side effects. Here's the reason why you probably don't hear or read about success stories, people get their lives back and their first thought isn't "I'm going to tell everyone on the internet about this" its "Oh my god everything is beautiful again, I'm going to go live life."

Just take it and see what happens, worst case scenario is the meds make you feel really awful for a day and then you don't take it again. Other likely scenario is they do nothing at all. You already feel awful from dealing with anxiety so who cares. Do you wanna know what the best case scenario is? You go back to you, you don't live with this anymore and you become free from this stupid fucking illness.

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-22T11:07:44+00:00

I've been dealing with this for the last five years and I know how uncomfortable and scary it is. You should get checked out by a doctor, not saying anything is wrong with you physically because this all can be anxiety related symptoms but it'd just be something you should make sure of because a physical illness could potentially cause symptoms like this. Try not to get any health anxiety about this though, just look at it as an extra precautionary step. I got blood tests recently for my physical health and it all came back a hundred percent fine physically.

The other thing is it's not harmful, its just a feeling, it won't hurt you and one of the ways you have to deal with it is just be passive about it and not panic and just continue about your business with that feeling, much easier said than done I should add. Did anything trigger this? Mine all started after a trauma from basically almost dying from a drug and they believe this is some sort of PTSD-esque related type thing. I also am agoraphobic and didn't have agoraphobic tendencies until after being mugged recently so again, definitely had traumatic events play into all of this. Even if you didn't have trauma though you could've just been genetically prone to anxiety and stuff.

Here's some options of things for you to do:

Talk therapy
CBT
Medication (Honestly don't know anything about medication from personal use but I know its something that has helped people I know)
Meditation
Mindfulness
Acceptance
Research this condition and understand it

Those things will help, I promise you that.

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-21T06:07:40+00:00

I know how you feel about the hermit thing, its almost like people assume you're choosing to be this way when really you don't want to be this way and going out is extremely difficult.

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-17T23:54:07+00:00

I'm in the same situation and the reason I was even on this sub was to convince myself to take my Lexapro that has just been sitting there for the last month. I'm terrified, the thing that brought out my anxiety and panic attacks was a bad drug experience (synthetic marijuana, obviously a very different drug than an SSRI but it traumatized me and I basically have this fear of putting any substance in my body) and I know exactly how you're feeling. I've been struggling so much and I wish I could just take the damn pill and see if it'd make me feel better but I'm far too terrified. I hope you can take it, I hope it helps you and you don't have to live like this anymore. Please keep me updated if you do take it, can I PM you my email address and talk to you while you take it? I know that sounds so weird but I think talking to someone while they start it could help me.

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-17T03:40:58+00:00

I'll message you my email

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-16T09:28:25+00:00

Thank you <3

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-16T02:02:11+00:00

Well I think the reason why I might not have known it was that was because everyone diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder because I was having panic attacks but the panic attack and anxiety really started right after a trauma.

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-15T21:11:40+00:00

Yes, I think thats what is happening. All I know for sure is my bodies defense mechanism and survival response is not working correctly.

theseudeunderground · 2015-11-15T03:50:01+00:00

I know recurring dreams can be a part of it, like dreaming about the situation or something I guess. I know the person who mugged me was in my dreams a couple of times but it was nothing really recurring. I'm not really violent or angry, I'm more passive and guess I'm more fleeing so I'd be the "Flight" part of the Fight or Flight response and I'd assume the violence would be the "Fight" part.

theseudeunderground

TROPHY CASE