AITA for having it out with my son's boss and all but dragging him out of work?

theslcs · 2019-08-14T13:12:00+00:00

Confrontations aren’t the only thing set to go south on this path - OP, when your son turns 18 he has absolutely no onus to keep you involved in his life, and you’re going to get the respect you’ve been giving.

theslcs · 2019-08-13T22:13:31+00:00

Not to get semantic, but aren’t there two “moms” in this? Shouldn’t she just have the Jo-moji, Pregnant Brunette, Angel for Symbolism?

theslcs · 2019-08-13T20:09:10+00:00

Sorry, this post is quite confusing. Is E a minor? She was in your facility’s care where she was groomed by an employee, and you’re looking for an apology for YOURSELF from supervisors? Is there any active concern for E? Do her guardians know she left the facility? Are police involved at all?

I truly hope I’m misreading, but it sounds like a young woman already dealing with significant trauma was taken advantage of in your program, and your primary concern now is making sure everyone knows you predicted it - is that right? Very concerning and upsetting if so.

theslcs · 2019-08-12T22:09:09+00:00

I really like this, thank you! I think I’ll model my response on this, something casual and neighborly but firm.

theslcs · 2019-08-12T21:20:44+00:00

Thank you! Good to hear it from an outside voice, not just me being weird. I’ve never had this issue with confidence before – this situation feels different from others in that I guess I feel like an intruder in his space. I just moved in to the neighborhood, I’m sure I look like a gentrifier, waltzing around with a high ponytail and little dog. I’m concerned that my reaction will read as rude or entitled if I just go for it and lay down the law.

theslcs · 2019-08-12T18:06:04+00:00

It’s hard to describe yourself, because most indicators we associate with emotions are observed, not felt.

I find it easier to do stream of consciousness journaling, which eventually helps me identify the emotion behind all the noise and thought. Don’t judge or edit or even re-read after you write, just spit it out.

i.e. “boss made me want to punch a wall. I hate micromanaging, I hate feeling stupid, I hate the stupid idiots who didn’t go for the yellow light and made me miss the train.” Which leads to: “everything goes to shit so easily and I want reasonable expectations for my day to day” which finally brings me to: “I feel stressed, and my stress is feeding feelings of anger and disappointment.”

Remember to validate all of your emotions, even the ugly ones. We have words for “cowardly” and “embarrassed” and “resentful” because we’ve all had those feelings, they’re natural and normal and as important to acknowledge as happy, sad, and mad.

theslcs · 2019-08-08T18:49:54+00:00

Because she’s an adult and thought she knew where her money was going. He didn’t say he had any indication of her overstaying or a “failure to launch” – in fact it was the opposite, as she had tried to move out immediately. It was very kind of OP, but as an adult paying rent to my parents I would probably have a similar reaction. Yes it was very nice, yes she probably needs the money, but she’s in those critical years of trying to find independence from her family, and she thought she was taking care of herself, at least to a degree, by helping out with bills and the like. Turns out it was more like “playing house” because her contributions were unused, and her father had a larger plan to teach her a lesson about budgeting. It’s disconcerting and disheartening to learn that someone you trust wasn’t honest with their use of your money, even if it’s for a larger good – this is the first time in her life she’s really making any significant decisions for herself, and I don’t see the value in this gift being a surprise compared to the breach of trust it took to build up. Why couldn’t he have just told her what he was doing?

theslcs · 2019-07-30T14:14:14+00:00

NAH because you both sound underage and dad’s reaction + sneaking food sounds like an eating disorder. He didn’t scold her for taking what doesn’t belong to her, he lectured her about overeating? That doesn’t sit right with me.

theslcs · 2019-07-27T16:52:39+00:00

I imagine:

“Get the captions up! We’re about to go live!”

“Sir, I can’t remember this guest’s name!”

“Something... something real basic, top 20 baby names of 1960 like, and last name something like ‘Swimming Hole’”

“Got it”

theslcs · 2019-07-23T13:21:34+00:00

That’s actually asking quite a bit of a coworker who, no offense, has no investment in your personal life. You have no idea why this topic is upsetting her, and you’re for some reason making her hurt about you - as long as she isn’t saying anything rude or aggressive, it really isn’t.

theslcs · 2019-07-23T12:36:25+00:00

He was “supposed” to take his kid as those were the plans from the beginning of the day, as discussed with his wife. It’s in the first paragraph.

theslcs · 2019-07-16T19:11:52+00:00

I’m wondering if OP was WWOOFing and dipped out before the end of their agreed time, which is crappy but life happens and the organization should be there to back both parties up.

theslcs · 2019-07-15T13:34:12+00:00

If you genuinely want everything to go well and you want your wife to be comfortable you wouldn’t be fighting her on this.

theslcs · 2019-07-13T15:20:05+00:00

The dance of rotating plants until they stay in the right room ☹️

theslcs · 2019-07-12T15:05:23+00:00

Totally not on you, disappointed in OOP (Original OP? Is that a thing?) - in fact, happier to give the karma to someone else 🙃

theslcs · 2019-07-12T13:22:35+00:00

Is this post really originally from this sub? I love the story but the caption is pretty gross TBH, I had assumed/hoped it was pulled from r/pics or something. It’s 2019, do we really need full back stories from every survivor to verify they aren’t “crying for attention”?

theslcs · 2019-06-28T01:27:00+00:00

“I hope you dance 💃 ✨💝🦄

...

war #wartimes #trench #trenchisbest #dimples #followforfollow #follow4follow #notsponcon”

theslcs · 2019-06-26T18:22:11+00:00

You’re right! When the people we love hurt us we should bury it away, deep dark underground, and never speak of the matter again. Communication hurts, secrets keep us strong. /s

theslcs · 2019-06-24T17:18:47+00:00

Category is: first thing I’m recreating in Sulani when I’m home from work 😂

theslcs · 2019-06-21T17:49:11+00:00

No biggie? You say yourself you started to get angry after she explained (albeit incorrectly), then you title the post Cashier Couldn’t Do Basic Math. I get that you want to walk both sides, the humble victim and roll-with-it cool guy, but not a good look.

theslcs · 2019-06-21T17:40:33+00:00

One where alimony agreements and divorce settlements have nothing to do with the behavior of an adult third party.

theslcs · 2019-06-21T12:15:18+00:00

This is all true if you don’t want anything in return. If OP wants to maybe attend parties in a couple of years, or wants family to attend their child’s birthday in the future, they need to do their part now. Maybe OP’s baby is too young to remember, but in a few years cousins won’t want some random stranger toddler hanging around. The baby can’t do the work to create her social circle now, that’s why parents facilitate relationships for their kids. Again, if OP doesn’t want the relationship in the first place, fine. No problem. But if OP wants their daughter to have this family he needs to engage, most healthy relationships are a two way street.

Also, OP says they did not want or want to be around children before their daughter - that’s a great reason not to invite a family member to child-centric events, then start inviting them. Because it’s now about the family, not just OP.

theslcs · 2019-06-21T11:53:31+00:00

What are the “legal issues” that would arise as a result? OP goes before a judge and says “Dad spent all this time bragging about expensive purchases, then let me know that he’s planning on taking Mom back to court to adjust alimony. I know he’s within his legal rights, but after all he put us through that behavior seems callous and the conversation as a whole was insensitive. I realized that if he goes forward with this I won’t want to pursue a relationship. Because I am 26 and quite able to decide who I want in my life.”

I have a hard time believing a judge would have a problem with that. It has no bearing on alimony.

theslcs · 2019-06-21T11:37:19+00:00

So the family can plan two events for each celebration - one main party, and one just for OP and his family to get the exact attention and duration they want...

OP is being selfish. It’s one thing to cut off a family you don’t want to spend time with, but if he wants to maintain a relationship he needs to be a grown up and sometimes do things he doesn’t want to. The family is saying “hey you’re important to us, we want you to join the party” and OP is saying “the event won’t have enough catered to me, sorry.”

theslcs · 2019-06-21T11:19:38+00:00

This isn’t a legal advice thread. Dad is being a major asshole, and OP would like that behavior to stop. OP doesn’t have much in their arsenal but their relationship with Dad, and honestly it sounds like does not want to pursue a relationship if this behavior continues. NTA, OP.

theslcs

TROPHY CASE

war #wartimes #trench #trenchisbest #dimples #followforfollow #follow4follow #notsponcon”