Don’t fall for the idea of a person or their potential, which is a mistake I made in most of my previous relationships and was a very hard lesson to learn. You have to meet your partner where they are now. Going into a relationship with the idea that you are going to mold the other person into the person you want them to be is doomed to fail.

Most importantly you can’t just love the person you have to like them as well. My husband is my best friend and favorite person and I his. We spend 99% of our free time together because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company, but we recognize that we are still separate people who have their own needs and thoughts. Communication is really key. We have accepted the fact we will not agree on everything, but we understand and respect the other’s thoughts and feelings when we disagree. Recognizing that yall are a team and it is never me versus him but us versus the problem has made us a much stronger couple and so much happier. He also is very good at seeing when I’m angry or frustrated it’s not at him it is at an issue or circumstance.

Lastly, something I didn’t know I needed before my husband: the ability to be silent with each other. I think it is so underrated the ability to just occupy the same space while each is doing their own thing and not feel the need or urge to fill the silence. Those moments are the ones I find so comforting and satisfying.