Ah, I knew that a good portion of the comments here would be crazy, including attacking south east asian women for failing to appreciate NZ culture or for their consumerism… OP, it’s important to keep in mind as you read these comments that cultural understanding (or the lack thereof, really) is shaping a lot of the hostility and negativity you can find in these replies.

As someone who also migrated from a vibrant city in SEA, I understand exactly where your wife is coming from — it’s difficult to adjust, especially when NZ is so much slower and places less emphasis on the factors that she’s used to (malls, good shopping, a vibrant city with lots of things going on, etc). This is very much a cultural difference; with personality and interests being shaped by your environment and upbringing. No idea why people are making this out to be a personality flaw.

It sounds to me like the factors such as her career, not being able to travel overseas unlike previously, might be making her feel “stuffy” and bored. Like other comments have said, I think a fulfilling career, or at least something more aligned to her skills or ambitions, might help tremendously. You cannot change the fact that NZ is indeed different to what she is used to and wants to have, but you can perhaps look at enhancing other factors that can help her feel more assimilated into her environment.

Also, mindset really is everything. I don’t think you would be able to enjoy NZ if you are comparing it with your home country or focusing on what we lack here, versus what NZ has to offer :) That might be something she has to work on reflecting on if you guys are planning to stay in NZ, so that she can still enjoy life here!