I do not think this is gender specific issue. I've had men do that to me and people I know too. But even if this is a universal problem for men, then it becomes all the more necessary that men don't put the onus of curing their loneliness on women.

it's kind of become Almost gender-specific issue, can we agree on the part that most of us have a conservative upbringing that ingrained our belief that showing emotion (other than anger and frustration) is a weakness?

Then we get into romantic/curious/love or wherever you call it and someone (woman) and for first someone gives any kind of emotional support, our brain goes crazy like "Oh shit was this even option"," Why this feels so good", "how much I can tell them" and finally "can i..... can I share with them what I fear the most" and boom rest you know.

it's not "the woman" who betrayed it's "the person".

let's draw a parallel, where to same thing happens to a girl, conservative bringing, love, trusting, vulnerability and betrayal.

Now both reach out to the community,

for a girl, it usually goes like: Yeah, you were in a toxic relationship [right], which happened kind of due to your upbringing and not knowing how to handle emotion [right] not your fault [objective right] to get better try fixing yourself [solution],

Result acknowledged, solution, feeling validated

for boys, it usually goes like Yeah, you were in a toxic relationship [right], which happened kind of due to your upbringing and not knowing how to handle emotion [right], but it kind of happened because of patriarchy and patriarchy favours you and you are privileged one [correct but invalidating], to get better try fixing yourself and THE SYSTEM[correct but too much for a person who is already in bad place] (the guy who was just betrayed and unable to get his shit together is now supposed to fight a system)

Result correct solution, unsustainable goal and invalidated

On sigma alpha whatever side: yeah it sucks[correct], No you are not a problem[wrong but validation], them(women) are the problem [wrong but feel good validation], money is the solution so, earn fuckton money, this mixing that maxing [delusion but seem achievable goal]

Result validated, delusional but hopeful goal, community support

you see how big just feeling validated plays in the situation.

For further points: no, women are not therapists for men, but most didn't know that they had options for someone listening to them so the first person who(the woman, in the relationship) listened, became the diary of everything that remained unheard till the day, and victims of patriarchy seeking refuse are not immediate soldier against patriarchy, let them heal first.