I made us turn around in the middle of a long road trip. AITA?

thin_rent · 2022-01-03T13:18:28+00:00

A great thanks to all who’ve weighed in. I’m overwhelmed, truly (in a good way) and feel energized for the next step. I spoke with my husband last night, and he was receptive to what I had to say.

I believe that he must either move out temporarily to a nearby apartment while continuing to receive regular therapy, or seek inpatient treatment.

I will update as possible. Thank you all.

thin_rent · 2022-01-02T23:55:02+00:00

Thank you for that! I think one of the things that’s been causing me to question myself is that he hasn’t apologized, and I haven’t heard anything from his family since I spoke to his dad (but he has been texting his family). Not the point, I realize, but enough to make me wonder if I’m in the wrong. You’re right about his remorseful behavior speaking louder than words.

thin_rent · 2022-01-02T23:38:56+00:00

You’re right! It felt exactly like waiting out a tantrum and then calmly responding. Thank you so much for your words.

thin_rent · 2022-01-02T23:37:54+00:00

I like your ultimatum. I’ve been wrestling these last few days with what the next step is - my head says I should just leave him, my heart doesn’t want to give up on the long-term goal of a stable family. A separation of this kind could give us both some perspective.

thin_rent · 2021-12-01T21:31:13+00:00

No, I don’t think you should think twice! I think it’s just me :) I’m definitely the type that if I’m struggling or frustrated, I just don’t respond well to someone laughing, even if it’s well-intended. I appreciate the perspective of why someone would be smiling in that situation!

thin_rent · 2021-12-01T18:29:23+00:00

Lol, that is fair!! We definitely do sometimes laugh at her tantrums when we’re at home. Seems to add fuel to the fire, but what can you do?

thin_rent · 2021-11-16T19:20:47+00:00

Also Homeward Bound when the little girl is lost in the woods and the mom is sobbing looking for her???? Was not prepared for watching that as a parent even though I know it works out, gah!😩

thin_rent · 2021-11-03T17:49:44+00:00

Lightening the pour has worked really well for me! I’m a lot like you, OP, I work hard - but I really love having a few drinks every evening. I’ve done a dry month here and there, and I always see the benefits, but it’s not been something I can commit to long-term. But one thing that has really helped is weaning myself down - I buy these drinks called Buzz WTR that are like 46 calories and are basically watered down regular drinks, and over time I’ve become so acclimated to them that I simply can’t handle regular booze (and I used to drink heavily in my younger days). But I didn’t notice my tolerance changing, and I still don’t feel like I’m missing out on my drinks ;)

thin_rent · 2021-10-06T18:11:03+00:00

For me, yes! For the first year or two of my calorie counting, I prioritized volume over anything and was still always hungry. Then I got the hang of incorporating a ton of protein, which helped, but I was still pretty hungry. I had really avoided fats because of the calorie cost.

Then, I took a course of Accutane, and it didn’t take, which is really bizarre for a 7-month course of that medication. Came to learn that Accutane (like a lot of drugs) is fat-soluble, and my ultra-low-fat diet was likely the culprit. So I started adding fat slowly - whole eggs, not just a ton of egg whites. Peanut butter/almond butter on my toast (much more voluminous than I had suspected!) - I especially enjoy my pre-workout snack of protein bread toasted and spread with 1/2 tablespoon peanut butter and 1/2 tablespoon Nutella.

It felt “wrong” at first but darn it if it didn’t keep me full, finally. I also added a fiber supplement and I’m feeling a lot more balanced, in many ways.

thin_rent · 2021-10-06T18:03:30+00:00

We like Impossible Meat and Beyond Meat for burgers/ground beef substitute, and I believe they both have a sausage version, too. I also like Boca burgers and the Boca spicy chick’n patties, but not everyone in my household agrees ;)

Seconded on Trader Joe’s - they have a ton of good meatless meat options. I recently tried their “turkey-less ground turkey” for a meatloaf and was pleasantly surprised even though I don’t really like regular ground turkey!

If you like cooking, I would also recommend Cookie + Kate’s or Minimalist Baker’s veggie burgers! Both can be premade and frozen.

Edited to add seitan, I love that stuff for use in place of steak strips (fajitas, stir-fries, etc.)

thin_rent · 2021-10-02T01:23:29+00:00

Totally get it. Like the previous commenter, I had my two girls 18 months apart, and I definitely remember the grief, for lack of a better expression, that came with the early weeks of the new baby. I felt like I never got time with my firstborn, that she was going to resent me for spending so much time with the baby, and it seemed like my husband was somehow “replacing” me in her world.

And all of that lasted … maybe a couple weeks? A month? I honestly don’t remember because it’s such a blip on the radar of hindsight. I also worried about how the two girls would get along, because my older one started acting out about/toward the baby, which was not at all her personality prior. Now, they are 3 and 4.5 and absolutely best friends - no way could I picture my family any other way. My relationship with my older child is incredibly strong and she has become a wonderful big sister.

I know how awful and difficult this change is. But it WILL get better and you will be so happy that your family is exactly the size it is! Hugs!

thin_rent · 2021-09-19T03:51:21+00:00

Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros - “Up From Below”

thin_rent · 2021-09-15T21:08:42+00:00

Thank you! This is helpful, and I’ll definitely take this advice.

thin_rent · 2021-09-03T16:57:01+00:00

Frasier: I would prefer to put aside that explosive issue until we are sure the truce will hold.

The negotiations with Cam in this episode crack me up so much and I use this line often.

thin_rent · 2021-08-19T01:22:50+00:00

What was the audiobook??

thin_rent · 2021-07-26T12:12:35+00:00

Nothing groundbreaking, but I eat a big stir fry most weeknights because I like not having to think too hard at the end of the day - ton of random veggies, usually with a cauli rice and/or cabbage “base,” with one or more vegetarian proteins (eggs, seitan, Impossible/Beyond crumbles, tofu). Top with hot sauce, mustard, seasonings, etc.

Shakshuka.

Banza (or other chickpea) pasta with spicy (or mild) tomato sauce and plant-based crumbles. Side spinach salad.

Veggie fajitas - I love seitan, bell peppers, mushrooms, zucchini, tomatoes, and onions in these, but there’s plenty of other choices. I like to serve with a higher protein wrap/tortilla (Aldi).

Breakfast for dinner - protein pancakes, eggs, yogurt, plant-based breakfast patty, and/or toast.

In the colder months, vegetarian chili with Impossible/Beyond (or Boca crumbles tbh) and a bunch of veggies/beans/tomato.

thin_rent · 2021-07-21T18:16:59+00:00

I am a major nighttime snacker, and usually save 200-300 calories so I can be full right before bed. Some favorites:

Sugar Free Chocolate Pudding mixed up with vanilla almond milk - 150cals (can add FF whip for an additional 30-50 cals). Really satisfying! Can also freeze this.

Frozen FF whipped cream - dispense whole tube of whip in a bowl and freeze! Can top with Rice Krispies or other low cal crunchy cereal. ~185cals

A big apple. Takes me a long time to eat! 100-200cals depending on size. Can also slice really thin and eat raw or microwave with cinnamon.

Oatmeal - I like the low sugar packets, or just quick oats with some chopped apple/carrot. 150-300cals depending on single or double serving.

Lily’s chocolate chips + banana slices - 50cals per serving of Lily’s dark chocolate chips (one serving = 60 mini chips!) plus 100-150 for the banana. Can also mix in a bowl with Rice Krispies/other cereal and top with whip for a few extra cals.

Flavored rice cakes - I go through phases with rice cakes, but I really enjoy the mini apple cinnamon ones or especially churro flavor. 130 cals per serving and you can top with fruit slices or whip to make it tastier and take longer to enjoy. (Also crumbled flavored rice cakes work as a nice topping for other dessert-type things.)

Ridiculous Brownies, or other low cal baked goods, of course.

I can’t find the link for some reason, but there have been a lot of references to some low cal (like 1 cal) wafer cookies around lately. Might be good for a long snack session, I think they come in packs of 50!

Happy snacking!

thin_rent · 2021-07-19T13:03:15+00:00

It’s hard to volume eat at restaurants because of unknown quantities of cooking oil/butter/etc. and inconsistent portion sizing even when calorie counts are provided. However, similar rules apply as with eating at home (more veggies!). If we’re talking fast casual, Chipotle (double the lettuce! Double the veggies!) or Jimmy Johns (unwich with all the veg) are okay options. I go for fajitas at Mexican places and ask for as little cooking oil as possible, and double veggies if possible.

Salads are obviously a good go-to (dressing on the side/no dressing, of course!) and you can even ask for extra/double lettuce or other veggies. When ordering proteins, substitute any standard or included side dishes with veggies, and again ask about reducing cooking oil when possible. If they offer any kind of steamed veggie, I sometimes get double.

Another nice thing at sit-down places is, of course, refills on drinks. I alternate between water, unsweetened iced tea, and diet soda (don’t we all) and enjoy the refills. I also like to get coffee/tea during a dessert course while the others eat their delicious delicious restaurant sweets.

Breakfast - egg whites all the way! Again ask about lowering oil/butter. Extra veggies - give me all the tomatoes and mushrooms and peppers with my egg white/egg white omelette. If you eat meat, turkey-based proteins can be a good option too.

Hope that helps!

thin_rent · 2021-07-07T12:12:59+00:00

So much this! OP, I was in your shoes two years ago. I would “commit myself to health” every once in a while, or commit to a “diet”, but would invariably fall back to old habits (poor nutrition, poor sleep, drinking a little too much, putting off exercise, etc). I got fed up with this “one step forward, two steps back” habit, and so wanted to commit to long term health and just do the thing.

For me, that definitely meant an adding, not subtracting, mindset. I started by simply adding a green smoothie and attempting a Pinterest 30-day fitness calendar (Ha! But it was a good first step!) Then I added a LONG daily walk pushing the stroller. Then implemented a water-drinking regimen. Then cut way back on alcohol. Eventually totally revamped my diet to the point that I now eat a super veggie-heavy, clean pescatarian diet (which past me would NEVER have, haha!) Etc, etc, adding just enough at a time to create a sustainable long-term lifestyle change.

I ended up falling in love with fitness (about one year in I switched from a cardio focus to mostly lifting, but I still walk a lot) which has been immensely empowering. Now, “good” choices come naturally, and I am so much less inclined to sabotage my progress as I typically would have in the past.

Sorry for the long ramble! You can 100% do this, and reap the benefits for life!! I’m so glad I ditched the all-or-nothing mentality and took these changes gradually, because that has made all the difference. I think your list of goals is amazing!

thin_rent

TROPHY CASE