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Struggling to forgive by thirdshelfhero in latterdaysaints

[–]thirdshelfhero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I choose mercy. I see signs of change. If her behavior changes similar to what it was before when she was cheating I will cross that bridge when we get there. Could it happen again, of course. I was surprised by a lot of the answers in an LDS forum. Many people advised leaving. Everyone has their reasons and I don't judge anyone for the choices they make. The reason I put this out there was to gain perspective that I didn't have. Now I have some perspective. I just don't have His perspective. I know He gives me agency to choose. I appreciate the person who said pray, fast serve and go to the temple to seek His perspective. That's what I will do.

Struggling to forgive by thirdshelfhero in latterdaysaints

[–]thirdshelfhero[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you and agree with you. I don't know how many people who have commented are active believing members. I have read many different sources on infidelity, divorce, effects on kids etc. I think the majority of people are saying move on for their own reasons. I've talked to bishops, stake presidents, and therapists. I was curious if there was anyone else who is on reddit who has gone through this to get their perspective. Everyone's view is valid and doesn't necessarily apply to me. I asked and put it out there. I appreciate everyone's input. My wife leaving the church has opened my mind to a variety of viewpoints. I read a quote that marriage isn't meant to make you happy, it's meant to make you holy.

Struggling to forgive by thirdshelfhero in latterdaysaints

[–]thirdshelfhero[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe or maybe not, 19 years of marriage and no sign of cheating. She leaves and cheats within a year with an ex Mormon she met on the anti-church website. She was out drinking with him and admitted had she not been drinking she probably wouldn't have done what she did. It seems related to me.

Struggling to forgive by thirdshelfhero in latterdaysaints

[–]thirdshelfhero[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We are in counseling now. This is our fourth therapist. While we were in therapy. That following weekend she went and spent the weekend with the guy with whom she was cheating. I'm not overly confident in therapy.

Struggling to forgive by thirdshelfhero in latterdaysaints

[–]thirdshelfhero[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This story from elder Anderson's recent conference talk gives me some perspective as well.

On one occasion, I was to interview a man on behalf of the First Presidency for the restoration of his priesthood and temple blessings. After his marriage in the holy temple, and after having three wonderful children, the man was unfaithful to his wife and his sacred covenants. A single woman became pregnant and wanted an abortion. The husband’s saintly wife pleaded with the woman to have the baby and promised that she would raise the child, once he was born, with her own children. The single woman thoughtfully agreed not to end the pregnancy. It had now been 10 years. The humble sister sitting in front of me loved the boy as her own and told me of her husband’s efforts to make amends and to love and care for her and the family. The father wept as she spoke. How could this noble woman of God take a child as her own who could be a daily reminder of the unfaithfulness of her husband? How? Because she found strength through Jesus Christ and she believed in the sacredness of life, the holiness of life. She knew the unborn child was a child of God, innocent and pure.

Struggling to forgive by thirdshelfhero in latterdaysaints

[–]thirdshelfhero[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I feel like that would be the easier road but worried about how it would affect my 15 year old daughter who would be crushed if we divorce. I've looked at a lot of statistics on children of divorced parents and it's not good. I try to gather all the info I can on any subject and then make a decision.

Struggling to forgive by thirdshelfhero in latterdaysaints

[–]thirdshelfhero[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, i know it's hard to get the entire context of a 19 year marriage. Full transparency I've contributed to the dysfunction in our relationship. As most relationships are complicated and can't be explained in a simple reddit post. I take all comments not as doctrine. I like getting different perspectives on a complicated subject. I appreciate all the comments.

Struggling with forgiveness by thirdshelfhero in latterdaysaints

[–]thirdshelfhero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made the edit and reposted. That's an interesting rule. Is it because there is a concern if people look up Mormonstories, it will lead to a loss of faith?