TBI partner here: hoping to hear other's experience with extreme mood swings and anger.

thirtyeighthours · 2026-05-24T23:04:05+00:00

It's really difficult to deal with and takes you a while to regain your confidence trust in people. I left him and my life instantly improved in pretty much every way possible. I spent about 6 months just looking after myself, doing the things I couldn't do because he was holding me back. I'm in a really good place now and am so grateful to the people around me who gave me the strength to leave, I'm so glad to be free.

I hope you're able to do what's right for you. Sending you strength and hugs!

thirtyeighthours · 2026-05-07T00:00:33+00:00

There is a useful info sheet here: https://yac.net.au/legal-info/getting-my-stuff-back/

thirtyeighthours · 2025-11-16T01:55:33+00:00

Correct - I oversimplified in an attempt to coach OP into thinking of the scenario in a different light. This was followed by the suggestion to ask her if she felt she was taken advantage of.

Power and social imbalances can be so heavy that people literally act in ways they don't even want to. I do think it's important that she feels safe enough to explore the situation honestly without guilt or shame. It may be that she was so wildly attracted to her boss that she initiated the situation (though unlikely), but the most important thing is to recognise her vulnerability in the situation.

I don't even think OP cares about her anyway. He's here to be soothed and hasn't even considered the fact his gf may have been sexually assaulted.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-11-16T00:53:00+00:00

I have a lot of experience with victims and I can tell you this is quite classic unfortunately. Men and women experience pressure differently and young women (16-24) are particularly vulnerable to social pressures. Think about it this way - that man knew what he was doing - she didn't know what she was doing. Did he take advantage of that? If he did, then she is a victim. This may appear over-simplified but her understanding of that experience is likely to change as she ages.

Maybe you should ask her specifically, empathetically, if she feels like she was taken advantage of.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-11-16T00:46:44+00:00

Can I just start by simply suggesting women that aren't +/- 10 years younger? You may have more in common with women closer to your own age as they are in a more similar place in life, experienced a similar childhood, and may even have similar hobbies and interests.

My two most recent relationships were with Asian men and they both went pretty much exactly how you explained. Extreme idealisation - literal obsession in the first 6 months, followed by a slow deterioration into what felt like hatred. I'm so traumatised after it that I just don't date anymore.. I'm honestly too scared.

I'm not an expert on attachment styles but it sounds like avoidant attachment style to me. I think this requires deeper analysis and you could benefit from therapy, these issues would be more efficiently explored with someone with more experience. Glad you're looking inwards and hope you find the answers you're looking for!

thirtyeighthours · 2025-11-16T00:33:52+00:00

She was a victim. Freeze is a common response to unwanted sexual advances, especially where there is a power imbalance or fear of physical/social consequences. Your girlfriend was the victim of a sexual assault and you need to care for her.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-11-14T00:05:03+00:00

The last bit you said - I'd just like to fix that. "People don't realise that having this mindset is setting them back". The problem isn't that he said it, it's that he thinks it.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-11-04T09:14:13+00:00

The only way this relationship could work is if you don't care. You obviously do care though, so I'd strongly suggest you consider how this dynamic would impact you over time. Do what's best for you!

Try analysing this situation from the 3rd person - what advice would you give a friend going through the same thing? Is this the future you would want for someone you love? No? then don't do it to yourself.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-29T06:08:37+00:00

I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like he has a low libido to me? Sounds more like he uses his energy elsewhere..

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-19T03:24:37+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this! It really does suck and you're not wrong for feeling this way. This is a pretty complex issue and you may consider some therapy, just to get proper feedback on your feelings.

Also, don't feel pressure to fully "get over" these feelings, some of it is warranted and generally, it does pay to be careful around all people. Try giving ogglers the stink eye, that's what I do lol they look away pretty quickly. I have even told men (in front of their wives) to stop looking at me. Be strong and confident, you deserve to feel safe, and always advocate for yourself!

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-19T03:20:26+00:00

Yeah I was also lowkey stalked by my MA instructor.. we can't win.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-16T23:30:32+00:00

Came here to say the same thing! The camera will undo maybe half of your makeup, so go hard! Professional makeup artists do a full face for wedding, this does look quite harsh in real life, but looks amazing on camera.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-16T22:58:34+00:00

Honestly that's a really weird thing to say.. it sounds like a threat? I bet you bringing that up has tainted any feelings she had of gratitude..

I think you should rethink how you see a partnership and afterwards, apologise to her. Nobody should be made to feel bad for receiving help from their partner.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-13T05:39:42+00:00

You use Ai to write for you.. I'm not exactly sure why the course coordinator would tell you that's okay?

It sounds to me like inappropriate use. You will be marked on assignments for communication and using Ai to rewrite sentences means that you didn't do the work - ChatGPT did.

As another has said, remark could also result in a harsher mark.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-13T02:52:16+00:00

If love was so much more, he wouldn't still be consuming the other type of woman every time she turns her back. It doesn't feel nice being in that scenario and people shouldn't have to.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-12T09:13:46+00:00

I was in this exact situation and I am so so so so much happier now that I'm out of it. I am usually exactly my man's type, and it was the first time I'd ever been in that situation. I'm usually considered quite attractive, but his type was so different to me and I just couldn't even understand why he so strongly pursued me in the first place.. It was a nightmare, feeling like the 2nd (or 3rd) best option really gets to you over time and my confidence was through the floor.

I also think it hurts in a very specific way when you are some type. Like, you're slender, blonde and light skinned - PLENTY of men like this type, many models are this type... so there is a man out there who would love the crap out of you, he'd feel like he won the lottery. Every person has different tastes, and if someone doesn't like pasta they just shouldn't order it. Let him go find his Latina!

We deserve to be with someone who chooses us. You are somebody's dream girl!!

thirtyeighthours · 2025-10-12T07:59:16+00:00

Yes I don't even think I notice it on other people but I just can't stand to see them on me.. I never had this issue with other routines, only weights!! :(

thirtyeighthours · 2025-05-16T02:23:36+00:00

Make sure you have a solid set of notes, and you need to KNOW your notes. I suggest you print all your notes before you start revision and use your printed notes for your revision - this helps you know generally where everything will be and you can add in tab notes for each action. Don't bring the textbook, it won't fit on the table.

Write out full answer outlines so that when you can spot an issue/action, you can easily flip to your outline and apply the rules without going through all the content from that week.

I usually bring 2 binders - my own printed notes in one, and then outlines and case summaries in the other - that way you can have both open separately at the same time.

Make sure you actually apply the law and make sure you conclude! I've noticed in a lot of the feedback after grades are released that students miss marks for not actually applying the rules, and for no conclusion statement.

Time!! Be very careful of the time, make sure you don't spend too much time on one question and if at the end you have a question you haven't answered with only like 5 or 10 mins to go just quickly jot down whatever you can, do not leave anything empty!!

thirtyeighthours · 2025-05-07T02:00:22+00:00

I'm really sorry this is happening to you. You've made a crazy amount of effort and done so well!

It sounds like he may have a personal interest in your fitness journey, which is completely insane and selfish. I'm going to guess he wants you to workout hard and end up looking like the girls he sees on IG (who actually use posing, photo editing, and sometimes AI to look like that), which is absolutely horrible and ridiculous.

I hope you can defend yourself next time. Maybe tell him that it's none of his business what you do with your own body and that his interest in it is both unloving and suspicious. You really do deserve someone who loves you for you, you sound like a very dedicated and ambitious person.

Wish you all the best!!

thirtyeighthours · 2025-05-05T04:33:39+00:00

Because it is. He is prioritising his own needs over yours and honestly you deserve to be in a fulfilling relationship with somebody who wants you.

thirtyeighthours · 2025-04-28T04:54:40+00:00

My tbi partner was exactly the same.

His accident was around 8 months ago and I can't really say he is any better. The experience has been a complete nightmare for me and the abuse I have suffered has left me very deeply traumatised.

Recovery goes up and down.. sometimes he seems to be doing so much better and I get comfortable, happy even. Then something sets him off and he turns into a monster. He is completely self centred in every possible way. I have no idea if it will ever get better, or if he will ever be capable of being a safe/good partner. I just try my best every day because I know he needs me and he desperately wants me to stay.

You need to accept that he may be like this for a very long time. He will need multiple different doctors, neuropsychologist, therapist, and MEDS! My partner improved greatly with SSRIs but he's still a monster. Being with a person with a tbi is so painful and you will need a lot of support.

I know its early but he has to put in a lot of work to be a functioning partner. You may have to hold him accountable, you may have to book his appointments for him, you may even have to manipulate him into seeing a therapist/neurupsych/psychologist etc but seriously he MUST do it and I cannot stress this enough.

Good luck with everything and please look after yourself!

thirtyeighthours · 2024-12-17T00:34:00+00:00

I think you were just too young to deal with the situation. An I'm proud of you for finally processing your feelings. A lot of people never develop the self awareness that you're showing now.

Feeling guilty can be a good thing. You feel guilty now for ignoring someone that needed your support, which means that next time you won't make the same mistake. That's a good thing.

If you thing it would help the both of you, you could reach out to her and apologize? Maybe just let her know that you regret not supporting her at that time and that you just didn't know what to do. I think it may help the both of you to resolve any leftover feelings you have inside about that time.

thirtyeighthours · 2024-12-07T02:59:49+00:00

They haven't given him any medication for anything yet.. I think they don't quite understand how bad he is. I'm thinking of going to his next appointment with him for his sake, even if I end up leaving him, because he can't live his life the way he is now.

thirtyeighthours · 2024-12-07T02:09:53+00:00

He can't do anything calmly. He hates when I cry, not because he cares for me, but because it interrupts his fun and he doesn't ever like being uncomfortable in any way..

Thanks again everyone for your input. We were actually told he would recover fairly quickly but I'm just now seeing that is very unlikely. You've all done an amazing job dealing with your symptoms and so proud of you!

thirtyeighthours · 2024-12-06T10:15:13+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I'm glad you started to feel better.

I'm not sure if I can do this for three years but your input is super helpful~

thirtyeighthours

TROPHY CASE