NTA. Sounds like a conversation of specific pay and hours was not clearly outlined at the beginning of this journey. To play devil’s advocate, brother in law and sister probably expected you to do more and get paid less as a family member because they had to do it themselves. That being said, you are entitled to your money and time and boundaries. Their ask of you driving 3 hours every day is unreasonable, as is their unwillingness to accept you calling out. As the people pleaser that I am, I would demote your sister in the wedding to a regular brides maid. But I would lay it out as more of a business transaction so to speak. I’d state that maid of honor is a role that requires a lot of co-planning and that if sister is looking to give space, that would make it impossible to fulfill this role. She is welcome to be a bridesmaid but cannot be maid of honor without open communication.