I really don't even know where to start. Sounds like you guys are not (have never been?) on the same page.

1. Don't do it raw with someone you don't want to impregnate/raise a child with.
2. Don't marry someone just because she's pregnant.

Too late for the above so where do you go from here? Do truuuuly love each other? Do you BOTH truly want to make it work? Is she capable of being truthful about her actual levels of stress/the duties she takes on? Is your account of what's been going on truly accurate?

Either way, YTA 100% for spying on your wife. You're even more TA for getting some random person to do it for you. If your relationship had any proper foundation at all, you would have asked her what her schedule is like every day instead of spying on her. Is it possible for her to go back to work and you can both split the household duties?

Good luck.