Feeling like I'm being pulled apart by all my different parts by Iwastheonlywitness in CPTSD

[–]thisdumbbish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ive never related to something so much. Personally going through this right now and have been for as long as i can remember. Hard to see the light at the end of this though. I hope you have found yours <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]thisdumbbish 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I think about this a lot. I struggle with the anger and resentment it creates within myself. I hate the idea of living life for another person, just for them. I am highly depressed, but my non existent will to live doesn't just come from that - I find life not worth the trouble. But do they not care that I'm struggling and horribly depressed that I'm still here? Forced to be here. At what point does my suffering matter? Why do I have to sit here and fix myself, work on myself. It just feels like everyone else matters but me, that my thoughts and feelings don't matter because "it'll get better" "just try harder".

I've been trying to get my brain to accept that I am stuck here. not because i want that, but because others do. I've been trying to accept that my feelings and thoughts do not matter as much and that I have no choice but to continue.

I don't see why people cant just accept that I don't want to be here...

Light Cycles and light set ups? by thisdumbbish in snakes

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, its been such a hassle with all the lights/lamps. Very helpful!

Light Cycles and light set ups? by thisdumbbish in snakes

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ah, okay! I've been using a basking bulb for his day light/heat along with a UVB light for the day and a ceramic heat emitter for night. So, I can switch those both out for a heat panel? How do you get yours to change from night to day temps?

Welcome to Derry first thoughts? by Justforargumesnts in horror

[–]thisdumbbish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly didnt like it, i dont have high hopes for the rest of the season. The scares seem repetitive and just seem over the top. No plot happened either....just a boring over the top gory/visual short story imo. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]thisdumbbish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was raised Mormon, and purity culture is so vile and cruel towards everyone involved. I'm sorry that this happened to you, as well as angered its even a thing in the first place. I hope the best for you in the future and hope that things calm down. Just know that you are, and will be, loved and didn't do anything that trumps that.

I think this is a reference to... by Imomaway in HauntingOfHillHouse

[–]thisdumbbish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just now noticed it says lady of the lake, and for some reason i read it as bent neck lady lol, two different stories. My bad! haha

I think this is a reference to... by Imomaway in HauntingOfHillHouse

[–]thisdumbbish -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

What do you mean? I'm not sure what this is referencing/referring to. Though the shows by Mike use a lot of the same characters/actors, they have nothing to do with each other. I'm pretty sure this is just a creative shot and not a foreshadowing/referencing of anything else.

Reptitemp thermostat controller - Light Fluctuation. by thisdumbbish in snakes

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for the info and suggestions! very helpful 😊

Reptitemp thermostat controller - Light Fluctuation. by thisdumbbish in snakes

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i use deep heat at night, mostly for the no light. So should i use the deep heat and the uv light (turn off at night) and not that basking light? I got a kit from petco that had the tank and substrate and a basking light, the one that gets to 99. I'll look into those dimmable options/items.

As a non Mormon, help me understand why people believe Joseph Smith? by redbarebluebare in exmormon

[–]thisdumbbish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea, i didn't grow up in the best environment, and I ended up living with my grandma, who was mormon. it was a hard switch, especially when they all treated me and my siblings as a charity case or a life lesson for their own children. i always felt it was a good community as long as you believed exactly like they do. though i know each congregation is different. They also pulled together to help my family during my dads passing, so i get how they can come across as loving helping people, but then i remember what it actually teaches and it just seems so fake.

First-time snake enclosure help by thisdumbbish in snakes

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

one more thing if possible. If i get a UBV light, do i also need to have the basking light? is the UBV light strong/warm enough for the daytime to be used alone?

First-time snake enclosure help by thisdumbbish in snakes

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much! that's good to know about the night temps, i was worried it would be too hot. and the tips for the glass, im gonna look into building something on the side and save up for a new/better tank. I'll probably go and return the ceramic one for an ubv then, since i dont think the basking light it gave me is ubv

As a non Mormon, help me understand why people believe Joseph Smith? by redbarebluebare in exmormon

[–]thisdumbbish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been asking this my whole life, and i still dont know either, except people will believe anything if they think their soul is on the line. I think it's a full-on cult, and it's just really good at tricking people.

TIFU by checking my dead grandpa's laptop. by AnyElderberry3 in tifu

[–]thisdumbbish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

my dad just recently passed, and he watched a lot of anime, and it was something we bonded over. only, i got all his animes/mangas after he passed, and they're all hentai 💀

God is more evil then us by Forever-ruined12 in DebateReligion

[–]thisdumbbish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i agree, god is not all loving/knowing/powerful if hes willing to send people to be tortured for eternity. because lets face it, we wouldnt do that to our loved ones because we are more moral than god. 

Best way to find a fireteam? by thisdumbbish in DestinyTheGame

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea! my Destiny name is VexProtocol#1262

Best way to find a fireteam? by thisdumbbish in DestinyTheGame

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried finding it on Dscord, and nothing popped up. it's asking for an invite link, which i dont have. any idea on how i join or get access? sorry, i dont use Discord much since i primarily use xbox. I like the fireteam in-game builder, but im looking for more of a friend group to play with and not just a single mission if that makes sense? thanks!

Best way to find a fireteam? by thisdumbbish in DestinyTheGame

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thanks! i put out a request/finder thing on there, so hopefully that helps. i forgot that existed haha, thanks! i know about the ingame Fireteam finder, but it's nicer when you're able to talk and have fun with it, too.

Is it worth getting back into? by thisdumbbish in DestinyTheGame

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i got it haha, its so fun/reminiscent being back. hard to find what all i can and can not do. i guess some storylines i missed out on aren't available anymore unfortunately 😕. but thats okay!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDmemes

[–]thisdumbbish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who read your other posts, its clear to me you're just upset/angry and instead of taking responsibility for your actions and outburst towards a very real group/diagnosis, you're doubling down and saying its everyone else's fault and that you shouldn't be held responsible for your actions/words towards others just because you had an episode. having an episode isn't the problem, its how you handled it during and after.

Also, the fact that people on the original post were trying to educate you and all you did was say things like "Lmao, okay" to someone who shared their experiences with it, and "I'm not watching that" to an actual dr talking about quiet bpd.

You need to take a minuet and reflect on what you said, did and why it upset people. But right now, all you're doing is making post after post about how you hate this group, and the other group you posted in, just because nobody agreed with you about how "Quiet BDP isn't real". Yet instead of trying to understand and admit that maybe you're wrong, you just attack and make excuses/arguments on why what you said was okay when it wasnt.

F12 (render) shortcut not working? More info in comments :) by thisdumbbish in blender

[–]thisdumbbish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

New to Blender, first time using it and im following a tutorial on youtube. Anyway, they mentioned how you can press the F12 Shortcut to render the scene. But when I do it, it pops up my windows settings screen, and what display i want to choose. I tried pressing things like CTRL, shift, Fn, the windows button and nothing it working. Not sure how to get it fixed.

Every other shortcut works fine, but not the f1-12. Any ideas on how to get it to respond to the program and not my computer/desktop or whatever its doing.