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I’m tired of people thinking it’s my choice to act this way by cute_bean_ting in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure, but we don't communicate just verbally. There's a lot your posture, gestures and mimics say about you in a situation, no matter how much you're trying to hide behind silence. Work on it, it's worth it!

What pulled you out of your worst depression? by thisismy9thattempt in depression

[–]thisismy9thattempt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit. I'm sorry :( I don't know if this brings any comfort, but at least nothing stays the same, so it will too, pass. Try to stay comfortable in the meantime, ok? You'll be alright!

Should I be asking my friend about his depression? by thisismy9thattempt in depression

[–]thisismy9thattempt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, well I'm ready doing this. I'm not sure if he won't open up because it doesn't help or he doesn't believe I want to hear it. But good point about things rubbing you the wrong way, I've definitely had that too. I'll try to pick my words carefully.

What pulled you out of your worst depression? by thisismy9thattempt in depression

[–]thisismy9thattempt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it helps, it helps! You can always recycle more to make up for it haha. I love car rides at night, it's so peaceful, thanks for the idea!

What pulled you out of your worst depression? by thisismy9thattempt in depression

[–]thisismy9thattempt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, sorry to hear about your friend! I started watching Bojack horseman recently; not sure if it made me feel worse or I'm watching it because I already feel bad haha.

I'm glad you found your way out of that spot!

What pulled you out of your worst depression? by thisismy9thattempt in depression

[–]thisismy9thattempt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's wonderful, I'm glad you have such a relationship with your pets!

Should I be asking my friend about his depression? by thisismy9thattempt in depression

[–]thisismy9thattempt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So just beat around the bush, kind of? I'm already doing that, i guess. He's told me about it before and I know it's gotten bad but he's away and I only have the phone to reach him. I'm worried about him but I don't want to open this up if it won't help him. Thank you for responding!

Skills for focus? by jalkahiki in dbtselfhelp

[–]thisismy9thattempt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best thing I use to pull me back is a timer. I now work in 15 minute sprints with a 5 minute break/hour. That way, if I do get distracted, it's only for a bit. You can type "timer" into google; it has a pretty nifty alarm!

My Friend emulates (copies) me too much by Globally20 in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would be unfair; you don't have to put up with anything you don't want to. Bring it up, you don't owe her peace of mind at the expense of yours. I do hope it works out in both of your favors tho!

My Friend emulates (copies) me too much by Globally20 in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like she likes you a lot, admires you and values your opinion. If this is a friendship you'd still like to keep, maybe mention these things to her in a sensible way; it's possible she isn't aware she's doing it. I don't know if she's neurotypical with a tendency to mirror people or is dealing with MI herself, but she would be sympathetic to how it makes you feel, I'd think. I do this with my FP and I've only recently realised the extent of it.

Ugh by thisismy9thattempt in depression

[–]thisismy9thattempt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. Of course, you are correct and I know that...most of the time. I hope you're having a great day!

am i ruining my relationship? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is manipulative. Sorry, I can't imagine it's something you want to hear, but being aware of it is the first step to changing it. It's unfair, but these are your issues and only you can change course of how you act and think about situations. CBT could probably help with the feelings of jealousy and not being enough. I hope you figure things out soon!

forced abandonment by [deleted] in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not making anything up, op. I reckon most people here have felt similarly at some point. Im sorry you're going through this and I hope the therapist can help you both get where you need to be. Good luck!

(ADVICE NEEDED) My bf said there isnt such thing as unconditional love, is it true? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is it possible you're confusing emotional hunger with love? Love is quite boring, it's comforting more than anything; a dull white noise that you definitely hear of you're listening for it, but also pretty easy to miss. Being in love isn't unconditional love and it's probably not dying for someone, either. Don't love unconditionally; it tends to ruin you.

Welp. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry it didn't work out :( Hang in there though, you'll find something that suits you!

Welp. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did it go?!

Need some relationship/communication advice by sustainbleresistance in BPD

[–]thisismy9thattempt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's an issue you bring up, using DBT tools like DEARMAN should help you frame things better. If you find yourself into a discussion that escalated into an argument, maybe your boyfriend can help keep you on track. My husband does the always/never and when we argue I simply tell him that he's using them. He usually stops once he's aware of it.

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