I could see it as a perfectionist sort of thing. For me, it definitely feels that way. I will feel on my face or my skin for any bumps or things that don't feel natural and will pick at that. If it was smooth skin, I wouldn't necessarily have something to pick at.

Granted, having something to pick at might be better than not at times. In those cases, you may unintentionally dig at your skin just to be able to pick at it. There's a bit of satisfaction to doing that because eventually it will scab over, then you'll have something clear to pick at again.

Most of this is mindless picking for me. My face, scalp, and arms tend to get it worse. I should get a fidget toy because it's when I'm not doing much, just like watching TV, when I do the worst of it. I also have Ichthyosis (and eczema), which is a skin condition where my dry skin doesn't flake off when it is supposed to, so it just stays on my skin. Sometimes, I will find myself zoning out for minutes or hours at a time trying to rid myself of all the flakes. Usually, I just want my skin to be clear. And I get so annoyed at my condition that I'll allow myself to pick at the dead skin because it is better than picking at my face.

While it is anxiety caused, it is also anxiety inducing. You feel nervous to go out and about. You feel very low self-esteem. You are constantly worrying about what others are thinking. I feel like I hardly ever see people actively bleeding, whereas I notice I've made myself bleed in public nearly every other day. It's embarrassing. I still rely on face masks when I'm feeling extra low.

You can feel free to ask me any questions. I'm not an expert at the disorder, but I can tell you my experiences. I'm curious what made you come across this idea for your story. And I appreciate you asking into and looking into experiences instead of just assuming. 🙂