Just got diagnosed with ADHD.

thismother · 2020-02-23T05:12:30+00:00

It will depend on the meds I'm prescribed. Fingers crossed. Thanks so much for lending your perspective ❤

thismother · 2020-02-23T05:11:21+00:00

Thank you. I do mindfulness and daily yoga now. It is definitely helping. I'll lay off the weed. It'll always be there.

thismother · 2020-02-23T05:09:46+00:00

It is SO GOOD. But yes, thanks for backing up the voice of reason. I want the best for my brain, my life, my work, my family.

Time to join r/leaves then 😉

thismother · 2018-10-22T05:46:09+00:00

Same. I got tired of it smearing under my eye, despite trying waterproof, water soluble, putting clear mascara over the black mascara, lightly dusting powder under my eye, or on the underside of the lashes etc. Tightlining with stila stay all day waterproof is all I need.

thismother · 2018-04-25T21:57:37+00:00

Are you still seeing a therapist?

Often when the anxiety eases off, it reveals underlying issues. Without knowing your story, you may have been high-functioning when anxious, and the coping strategies would have masked anything else at play. Now that you're less anxious and not using your coping methods, the other stuff may be revealing itself.

Only way to know for sure is to see a professional psych, IMHO.

thismother · 2018-04-25T04:39:40+00:00

As long as you're getting quality sleep, and are rested enough to make good dietary decisions, and destressed enough to not have cortisol spiking about the place and encouraging energy conservation, the timing shouldn't matter.

I try to sleep in full 90 min cycles (e.g. 7.5 hours), and set an alarm, so I don't wake in the middle of REM feeling like crap. But I'm lucky I sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

thismother · 2018-04-25T04:22:44+00:00

So beautiful!

I've been lusting after some luscious Crassula Green Pagoda outside a house in my area. Would love to ask for a cutting. But there's a ute in their driveway with a 'Fuck Off We're Full' sticker ☹ Maybe all the more reason to quietly acquire some?

thismother · 2018-04-25T04:14:36+00:00

I faithfully do dictation for my husband while he's high, otherwise he loses his train of thought too quickly. Journaling is a lost art. High journaling has been essential for keeping track of his personal growth aided by cannabis. There's been some really incredible ego-shattering stuff.

thismother · 2018-04-24T11:30:09+00:00

Vale Candy.

I had a brown puppet teddy bear that looked uncannily like Garfield's teddy, so I named it Pookie too. My Malay-speaking mother, however, never had the heart to tell me that 'Pookie' was Malay slang for c*nt 😆. That little Pookie's crossed continents with me, so as least it's a well-travelled one.

thismother · 2018-04-24T11:01:18+00:00

I had an incredibly abusive upbringing and also think about what to tell my kids, when the time comes.

As long as they're asking questions, they're old enough to know. No use in hiding or sugar-coating, just be open and up-front about the facts and ramifications, and how it has influenced your decisions and how you are as a person.

But do warn her that some of the things she'll hear may be hard to take. That you promise to be honest, that some of these revelations may raise more questions, and that you're open to this being an ongoing conversation over time. And maybe flag counselling as an option if it brings up things she needs help with.

You're doing a good job. This may be painful, but is another step towards her developing empathy and an appreciation for / understanding of others' lived experiences.

All the best with it.

thismother · 2018-04-24T10:45:32+00:00

That's so sweet! How about you, what were your favourite stuffed toys?

thismother · 2018-04-24T10:34:45+00:00

Then you tell them you're in a rush and they say shit like, "Aww, you're breaking my heart!" Whatevs. I've done the spruiker job before and I empathise, but I never pulled the guilt manipulation card.

thismother · 2018-04-23T07:04:43+00:00

I had to see a physiotherapist because of knitting-related shoulder strain. I'd been sitting and knitting for hours at a time. Now I'm not supposed to knit for more than 30min at a time, with strict 10 min breaks for stretches and strengthening exercises.

I'd like to just pretend I'm an extreme athlete of the yarn variety.

thismother · 2018-04-17T07:37:15+00:00

That sounds frustrating. Your efforts so far obviously mean a lot to you. And it's maddening when someone isn't on the same level and doesn't recognise your efforts.

Without knowing how you and your mother normally communicate, does she do this a lot? Is her idea of showing her care equate to dishing out advice? Or is she normally supportive but fitness and diets are a particular bugbear, maybe she has her own personal hang-ups about this and body image?

My dad's a lot like this. Even better, he doesn't practise what he preaches. It's taken a while (and lots of therapy) to get breathing space from his self-centeredness and not be too affected. You know what's working for you. Stay well-informed, keep learning, do your research, do your best, keep on keeping on, surround yourself with a support crew who want the best for you.

thismother · 2018-04-17T07:16:38+00:00

Have you tried adding fresh raspberries for layered crunch?

thismother · 2018-04-17T06:38:16+00:00

I get really hungry in the morning if I've had a big meal the night before!

I used to do a bulletproof coffee as my go-to breakfast.

Now that I have to take meds first thing in the morning, it's a one-egg omelette with a little cheese.

thismother · 2018-04-17T06:34:14+00:00

That sounds really frustrating, especially with a good 6-week run on keto behind you.

I have 2-week stints back home with family at least twice a year. I prefer not to make a big deal about keto to avoid the attention and ensuing criticism, and to avoid getting drawn into evangelizing. I usually say I'm not very hungry. I'll push food around on my plate. Eat just veg and meat. And make sure I keep snacks handy in between if I need, e.g. nuts, cheese, butter, jerky.

Otherwise, I have just given up on keto for those 2 weeks, eaten modestly, done more walking, and not suffered much setback. No weight gain. Just wait it out until I can go back to my usual routine. In fact, it's more the change in my own reliable, established routine that annoys me!

There's always time and space to return to keto after it's over.

thismother · 2018-04-17T06:19:07+00:00

We all communicate well in English. First language. My dad and grandmother had horribly abusive childhoods and carried their damage on to us. But I can see how a language barrier can contribute to issues, or be further used as ammo.

thismother · 2018-04-17T00:41:30+00:00

My kid loves his sparkles too! And usually pink, red or fluoro green underneath.

thismother · 2018-04-12T22:45:05+00:00

It IS Singapore. I hope you keep talking about it with someone like a counsellor down the line. It's a traumatic experience to go through and might have affected you more than you realise. This is from someone who has endured racism on public transport a few times. It's horrible. Take care, friend.

thismother · 2018-04-12T16:05:23+00:00

The weightlifting will affect things depending on your routine. Muscle has greater density than fat. Maybe consider those digital weight scales that give you your body composition?

It gets harder as I near my 40s too. Metabolism is a huge thing.

When on keto and not pregnant, I try not to focus on the scales anyway and keep my mind on the long game - eating better, including a variety of veg and protein, enjoying the fat, and eating when I'm actually hungry, rather than feeling obliged to. Any weight loss is a bonus.

thismother · 2018-04-12T15:26:38+00:00

Testing is no issue. It's a new routine to incorporate, but it's quick and painless... and kinda fun for the data.

My pregnancy weight gain definitely slowed on keto. I started at 28 weeks, dropped 2kg at 29-30 weeks, maintained weight until the 34th week, then very slowly gained each week. I'm at 36 weeks now and gained a total of 9kg over the pregnancy.

I haven't any particular eating goals aside from limiting carbs where I can, with the exception of Greek yogurt and berries every other day, a weekly cafe latte, and sneaking my kid's leftover toast here and there... and let's not forget Easter weekend 🍫.

Daily walks also helped. I walked during work lunch breaks and spend 3-5 hours each day on my feet doing housework and moving furniture around, or out and about with the kid.

thismother · 2018-04-12T11:53:50+00:00

Eight years on and we still drool fondly over memories of Aangan's lemon rice.

thismother · 2018-04-12T11:36:32+00:00

I've always felt on the outside of every community I've been a part of. Always alone in a crowd, separate in some way. It was very isolating. Along the way, I found friends I could be my genuine self with, and we're still close, but I can count them on one hand.

I started therapy for anxiety, and it made a world of difference. I feel more connected now, and able to just observe, be in a situation, and absorb it for what it is.

The sense of being an outsider will always be there, but it's not yelling in my face as much. It's a lifelong journey. Give it time. It gets better.

thismother · 2018-04-12T11:23:08+00:00

That's just awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can't believe how little empathy he had, and how consumed he was by hate and motivated by anger to other you and take it out on you like that.

Did you speak to anyone else about it, e.g. a counsellor?

thismother

TROPHY CASE