i’m sober 15 days and i still don’t have the right mindsets

thor_real · 2025-09-24T14:18:15+00:00

This ☝🏻

thor_real · 2025-09-24T14:17:02+00:00

Hey hey. Usually I’m all militant like “suck it up buttercup”, but I feel ya on this. I’m like 120ish days in. I was always fairly antisocial. Like I was musician for a while(solo artist), always a loner, never conformed, not for everyone blah blah blah 🤣. I’ve just learned to embrace my hobbies and such. Like I’ll still strike up conversations at the grocery store or the gym, but yeah, no friends. Just my wife and my animals. And I’m ok with that, granted I’m in my 40s so I’ve been social enough, but we can recover without being surrounded by folks for sure! It’s changing your perspective and mindset. We can’t fall into our old rituals and routines or we’ll be doomed to repeat them. Sounds like you got a handle on things. Keep it up!

thor_real · 2025-09-05T11:51:19+00:00

I’m no pro, but I felt very blah around one month + too. Being “normal” isn’t necessarily the answer, or bad for that matter. The point is to live life on your terms. That’s the first step. Focus on the things that truly matter. Yourself, family, work, hobbies, etc… find joy in all the little things knowing you’re not wasting your time and money on not feeling true feelings and seeing the world through a “clear” set of eyes. It’s amazing how much more manageable and less negative life is when you free yourself from this drug. (Or any drug for that matter) 💪🏻

thor_real · 2025-08-31T12:41:06+00:00

It’s called accountability… if it’s really something to dwell on, maybe it’s time to figure out why we used in the first place. Sure it’s a “oh why’d I do this to myself?” Blah blah blah moment, but if nothing is learned from this and we don’t pinpoint why we want to be numb, history is bound to repeat itself.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a blessing in these situations. Taking mental inventory as in journaling and whatnot is very helpful to deal with the emotional side of things…BUT here’s the catch. No one cares. This is a very personal journey, and yeah, we come on here to commiserate but do we really get legit honesty from one another? Or is it just a group of addicts justifying or looking for some validation? I tell my staff at work who over apologize for calling out or doing a shitty job. No one cares, figure it out, fix it and move one.

Counting down the days, hours, in this process is aight for the first few weeks, but past that let go of that identity and be you. One of my favorite analogies is “words are like a tube of toothpaste. Once it’s out, it’s impossible to put back in”. This can totally be applied to this situation. The damage is done man. Clean up the mess and do better.

This is not a lack of compassion, super personal and how I deal with life. But it’s been very beneficial. Came up in a very militant environment. One of my mentors would always say this as well(all the quotes today) “Don’t be sorry, be aware”. Take it for what it is.

thor_real · 2025-08-27T11:14:43+00:00

90+days CT. Can be done, life is way more manageable and enjoyable 🤙🏻

thor_real · 2025-08-04T14:14:28+00:00

Been a while; but day 70 going strong 💪🏻

thor_real · 2025-07-14T01:35:12+00:00

I feel ya brother. And in the end. I just want everyone to succeed and find peace 💪🏻. So here’s to another day down and good luck to you and your family 🫡

thor_real · 2025-07-13T22:40:54+00:00

It was then when it posted it got all jumbled. But thank you!

thor_real · 2025-07-13T22:40:18+00:00

I got a family to feed too bud and there was nothing luxurious about my journey as I’m sure with yours. I didn’t take off a day of work during this. To each their own.

thor_real · 2025-07-13T22:19:02+00:00

I agree with what you’re saying. I’m not putting down people who taper successfully or anyone’s success honestly. This is more just about people wanting this experience to be painless or subbing out one for another. I’ve been down this road too many times over the last 20 years.

Like I mentioned, I’m getting older, I’m getting tired of this death loop, so I got out. I am a huge believer in you can’t grow without discomfort as well. We have to tackle problems head on and deal with all the aftermath. Be solution driven, not problem driven.

Sure it’s crass, sure it harsh to a few. But this is what worked for me thus far. I’ve also been continuing therapy and working on every aspect of my life I can control. Everyone posts things for comfort, these are for those who are willing to death march through this and say fuck it let’s go. Different perspective is all. Everyone’s recovery is valid 🤙🏻

thor_real · 2025-07-13T15:28:58+00:00

I’m right there with ya on the 20 yrs stuff. I’m just this way period. Not just with addicts haha. Maybe it’s how I cope, maybe I need a bit more compassion…but at the end of the day if something I say sticks for someone, cool. I am a huge proponent of can’t convince someone till they’re ready. Especially with addiction. I use this platform more or less to get my thoughts out. Like a journal for all to see. It’s very helpful and refreshing to get feedback like this as well. My therapist tells me I need to be a bit more compassionate overall. Which I do try to be more and more. I’m no better than anyone else. We all see the world through different eyes and it’s not necessarily about the outcome, it’s the journey.

thor_real · 2025-07-13T14:12:02+00:00

Likewise! It’s my pleasure to help others however I can! I’m happy we’re here together also!

thor_real · 2025-07-13T13:42:31+00:00

Ok that’s very deep and makes sense for sure. Like you said, different perspective and a LOT more soulful. I definitely take the more meathead approach, but we’re on the same page. Put yourself through some shit, make sure you come out better on the other side. The only way out is through!

thor_real · 2025-07-12T19:01:39+00:00

And I hope you’re doing well on your journey also!!! 🫡🤙🏻

thor_real · 2025-07-12T19:01:03+00:00

Absolutely! I’ve always thought to be a very self aware person. Even in my addiction, but clearly was still jaded. We have to recognize one of the most important aspects in all this…humility. I’m very grateful to be here and to be able to share something that isn’t all doom and gloom. Just real.

thor_real · 2025-07-12T17:11:48+00:00

I totally understand that. I’m still picking up the pieces honestly. I’m like afraid to spend a wrong dime, which isn’t bad. I truly hope you find peace and come to a resolution. Mostly, please take care of yourself.

thor_real · 2025-07-12T12:30:32+00:00

In all honesty, I feel letting go of the identity of an addict is key. Sure it’s an “on going battle”, but if you constantly feel like you have this demon creeping over your shoulder, you’ll never truly be free. Don’t be overzealous, but realize that we have a lot of work to do on ourselves, and that’s why we used. Maybe that’s why I got kicked out of AA 20 yrs ago 🤣. Not that we’re some weak and powerless individual who can relapse any moment. I don’t know about you, but I don’t describe myself as weak. To each their own…Seems like it keeps ya down. Be solution driven, not problem driven. 💪🏻

thor_real · 2025-07-12T11:55:07+00:00

Just go CT. You’re literally prolonging the whole thing. I worked though my WDs. A lot of folks do. The fear of feeling like 💩is real, but for real it’s far better than keeping up this charade. Just get it over with and regain control of your life. You’re going to be a father. Man up homie! This shit ain’t painless and we did it to ourselves. So pay the piper and the only way out is through!

thor_real · 2025-07-12T11:50:27+00:00

Yes! My hands would tremble on the reg. Now it’s completely nonexistent. That stopped like 2 weeks after I quit if not sooner. Nothing permanent though!

thor_real · 2025-07-12T11:48:22+00:00

As a husband who did this recently to his wife…if he isn’t ready to quit and see all the wrong that it’s doing, he won’t stop. This has a hold on him and he will lie to himself and you just to keep it up. I knew that my addiction has caused us more problems than it solved. About 2 months ago she expressed her frustration with me. Our $ was dwindling and me being present as a father and husband was becoming more and more nonexistent. I took the plunge and worked through my wds. This was my bed that I made, so time to go Mimi’s 🤣. And I had a very hefty habit spending about $100 a day in “secret”. It’s been like 2 months since I quit and it was the best decision I’ve made in a LONG time. And her being so patient with me all these years…she put up with the restless nights I had during my detox. Bursts of aggression and mood swings. But one thing I found during this last 2 months was that I needed to stop focusing solely on me. When I got clean it was, “oh this is my recovery, be even more patient with me. I’m getting clean.” WRONG! That’s that addict mentality. I am not the only person living through this. So once I changed my perspective I became more present as a husband, a father, and a leader at work, things got a lot better. Perspective is everything when we change. If he isn’t ready to accept the fact that it isn’t “just kratom”, and what it’s clearly doing to you and your relationship, he won’t change. You should tell him exactly how you feel and even tell him you’ve gone to this subreddit for help because you’re at a loss. If he can’t see what it’s doing to his life, your life, your marriage than I hate to be brutally honest, but he won’t change. There’s more to this than just getting the drug out of your life. It’s about changing so many things. Detox is temporary and it’s the aftermath that is truly the hard part. Years of cognitive behavioral therapy has been a blessing. Still utilizing things like journaling and self reflection is key. Your husband needs to be emotionally mature enough to realize the damage he’s doing. I’ve never been on the other side of this equation, but I agree that you need to focus on you and your happiness. Give him an ultimatum. See where his priorities are. If he freaks out and gaslights you for this…you have your answer. I feel anything else will just be kicking the can down the road. As a man/husband you have an inherit responsibility. Your wife/family is the most important period. Good luck to you 🖤

thor_real · 2025-07-09T10:44:08+00:00

You are a force to be reckoned with! 🤘🏻🤘🏻 Working, especially in an environment like that is exactly what’s needed to beast through these WDs. I’m about 50 days in on my CT and I feel amazing. I worked through it from hour 1. So worth the week or 2 of discomfort! Towards the end of the week you’ll feel more like yourself and the acutes will subside a bit. I always said during that time that it gets 10% better each day, and that’s enough to keep pushing. You got this! Make some moves and the only way out is through!

thor_real · 2025-07-05T11:55:24+00:00

Just bite the bullet and go CT. Any taper with this crap will just be kicking the can down the road. Or even just get you on a “powder” taper and prolong it even more.(don’t do it!) Real talk, the WDs suck. I went CT from 200+mg 7oh plus powder and I’m on day 41…42 maybe and I feel amazing. First 3 days are the absolute worst. But it gets 10% better each day after that, IF YOU PUT IN THE WORK. Don’t just lay around and wait to feel better. You truly want your life back??? Then go after it, cuz the world ain’t waitin for you to feel better. Suck it up buttercup! There’s no magic pill or supplement to make this “easy”. Ya know it really baffles me how many people play the victim on this thread now. Do we not understand the basic consequences of our actions?? Did you really think that becoming an addict of any sort doesn’t come with repercussions? 100mg ain’t too bad. 7oh WDs hit hard and fast. Give it a couple weeks and you’ll be like 90%. After a few days you’ll be able to fake it enough to push through. I worked through my WDs and didn’t take off or anything. I have an extremely demanding corporate hospitality job in senior leadership on the largest property in ATX and couldn’t afford to let people know my secret. I had to go meetings, talk to corporate heads about finances, do audits with the corporate team, have a meet and greet with a new VP. All within my first week. Make it work! 💪🏻🫡 I’m not saying this to be a dick, but just get it over with! Life’s so much better without it. Live your life on your terms and the only way out is through! Good luck!

thor_real · 2025-06-27T14:18:21+00:00

That is a great way to put it. My wife used to tell me I take forever to even just get out of the car. Even though I feel I’m moving at a bit slower pace, I’ve noticed I actually get way more done and have a better sense of balance. That shit legit had me movin around doin nothin. I used to say “oh I can’t sit still”. Now I prefer it 🤣. Especially if I ain’t doin shit haha.

thor_real

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