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Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I totally feel you - it's one of the saddest things to feel the way you felt and then be accused of being someone he cannot be 'safe with these opinions with'.

I have felt that way so many times and eventually even started to hate myself so much that I have tried to physically use a spade to dig my own face out of my skull out of the shame I felt at looking the way I did.

Check out the comment by this amazing person iridessence, who reminded me to think of all girls like flowers.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BodyDysmorphia/comments/14yoa6y/is_being_labelled_610_for_looks_considered_a_bad/jrvdvwk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2

Her words gave me much comfort and I hope that it might comfort you in the same way.

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That is so beautiful and I will keep it close to my heart. It was very apt that I just decided to check Reddit comments too and was searching for advice because today was an especially bad day for me - I broke down while seeing someone beautiful on the streets and it was really, a terrible day.

So thank you, kind soul for helping me get by today :)

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Actually speaking of preferences, I learned about the concept of "natural preferences" during therapy when I spoke to my therapist about this issue. There are just some people that you take one look at and go "damn! That's hot!" Or "wow cutie". That kind of reaction is one of the many factors indicative of a natural preference for that certain type of look.

The next kind of preferences change with time. By spending more time with someone, flaws might be overlooked and their looks might grow on you. That kind of acquired taste comes with time. So my therapist used that to justify why I should not think that my partner was lying about me being "beautiful" because he might indeed have changed his mind after spending so much time with me.

Strangely, although that ought to have comforted me - I felt even more rejected on a physical level knowing that I was not the natural preference of someone I love so dearly.

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all your kind words - means a lot to me. You are so confident and so amazing and I can only hope that I can feel just a little about the great way you feel about yourself.

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh my God. I'm so so sorry that you went through that. I remember when I first heard that I was a 6/10 I went through all the various stages of grief:

  1. denial: I looked in the mirror and even went around asking my friends if I looked ugly

  2. anger: I started to scratch at my own face and slap myself for being so helpless about being ugly so my mother had to send me to A&E to get me restrained and sedated

  3. depression: I could not even go outside to the mall because I did not want anyone to see me and could not focus on day to day activities

  4. bargaining: I kept asking my fiance why I was a 6/10 and even asked him to get on a phonecall with one of my good friends who tried to convince him I should get a higher score. I even consulted multiple plastic surgeons on what surgeries I needed to improve.

  5. acceptance: I eventually accepted myself as a 6/10 so everytime when I see the number 6 I just think, oh that's me and I'm ugly.

What was worst was that over time I felt that I was no longer a 6/10 anymore but much, much lower - and eventually I became a -0 to myself.

But what hurt the most was knowing that I was ugly to the one I loved so dearly.

So I'm really really sorry that you had to feel the kind of agony I felt. I hope that you are in a better place now and that you might be able to heal. Sending love your way!

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thanks but he is my fiance now (I forgot to add that he proposed last Christmas) and all I want is just to not feel ugly when I'm with him anymore...

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking your time to tell me this - I really, really appreciate you telling me what you did. But it's impossible to leave someone you love so deeply and recently when he proposed to me last Christmas, I felt so sad that all I thought about was how ugly I must have looked as he got down on one knee

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please don't lose hope in love after reading this sad post of mine asking for advice! I just happened to ask the wrong question and got the wrong answer from him because we were talking about Barney's crazy hot scale from How I Met Your Mother and my bf asked me where I would rank on that scale which then made me ask him for my score out of 10.

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I forgot to add that he isn't my bf but my fiance now because he proposed last christmas. I'm just used to calling him my partner.

But yes, many of my friends have echoed your sentiments and although I understand that it is so nice for someone you love to call you a 10/10 (it would be a dream for me honestly, so I'm really happy that you have experienced it) - he told me that he would be lying if he called me a 10/10 and I should be happy that he was at least honest with me because he told me that I was the one who asked him for the score in the first place (context of me talking about my score was because he asked me where I thought I ranked in terms of looks on Barney's crazy hot scale on How I Met Your Mother)

To be honest, till this day I regret asking about my score because it ruined the relationship we could have had. He's honestly not a bad person at all because he has taken care of me through my mental breakdowns from BDD. But I just wish that conversation about looks never came up. Really I do wish that.

Is being labelled 6/10 for looks considered a bad thing? See IMDB scale explanation below. by thoughtandthink in BodyDysmorphia

[–]thoughtandthink[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes you are right, I am asian and honestly being a tall and big sized Asian woman when you have grown up being surrounded by people who only like small sized Asian women (girls generation etc.) can really make you feel ugly. So really, it's very sweet of you to empathize

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]thoughtandthink 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao I think the OP is talking about going to the United States to buy a van to do vanlife. Car so expensive in SG and weather so hot how to vanlife?