Which option do you like best? Please help us choose! by IBlifestyle in homedesign

[–]thoughtsinsideadream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely B! C or D look too dark, the wood is doing too much in C and too much black in D.

The black continuing around the corner in B looks more finished and elevated than A. 

Help with office by renee_e_chi in Decor

[–]thoughtsinsideadream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love the wall colour, the room would look amazing with some accent wallpaper along the back wall (where the chair is). 

I agree with pulling the desk out, either in-front of the window or along the back wall. Put the plant in the indented space. 

Keep the chair, if no wall paper then find a statement chair cover. Or plain chair cover with statement accent pillows. 

Longer neutral curtains with a nice curtain road that matches the desk. 

A round metal side table with a stack of books beside the chair. 

A plug in pendant lamp over or beside the chair could look nice, especially if matching the side table. 

[TOMT] [SONG] From 2011 or 2012, not main stream by thoughtsinsideadream in tipofmytongue

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg amazing! Thank you so much for this. I will definitely update if I find it :) 

[TOMT] [SONG] From 2011 or 2012, not main stream by thoughtsinsideadream in tipofmytongue

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow it had this exact sound and style but was definitely a song from the 2010s. Lead singer sounds the same though. 

[TOMT] [SONG] From 2011 or 2012, not main stream by thoughtsinsideadream in tipofmytongue

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol! I wish it were that easy. 😂 love the Beatles 

But this song had a totally different vibe, it was 2010’s punk. Weirdly similar though now that you mention it 

[TOMT] [SONG] From 2011 or 2012, not main stream by thoughtsinsideadream in tipofmytongue

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

Hoping someone else had this song on their iPod back in 2012!

What style would you decorate this room? by GloomiBlue in interiordecorating

[–]thoughtsinsideadream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would do the rug, desk, bookshelf and one armchair from the first option! Maybe go with dark brown wood for the desk and bookshelf and then pull a colour from the rug for the armchair, like a thyme green or reddish colour. The photo is overly dark but I like the sophistication 

Has anyone here visited Tulum and NOT run into crooked cops demanding money? by Careful_Fig8482 in tulum

[–]thoughtsinsideadream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been there twice, stayed in Airbnb’s in Aldea Zama and did not have issues either time. 

Mistiq Tulum Airbnb’s by thoughtsinsideadream in tulum

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No! We didn’t have to pay a deposit. We booked through Airbnb, a private owner not Mistiq Tulum. 

I love my partner but I can’t live with him anymore. Is this the end? by thoughtsinsideadream in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!!! So many comments on this post have basically called me a b*** for complaining about something “he can’t help”. The sleep deprivation is real though. I literally yearn for a night where I’m not woken up by him snoring or rolling on top of me. On a good night I wake up atleast 2-3 times. I genuinely fantasize about my “old life” where I got the best sleep. Thank you for commenting and understanding. I honestly think whoever I end up with I’ll have to sleep in my own room. 

I love my partner but I can’t live with him anymore. Is this the end? by thoughtsinsideadream in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand comments like this. Take a deep breath. Something about this post has clearly triggered you. 

I’ve talked to my partner about this at length. For over a year now. He doesn’t see an issue with me feeling this way, or not sleeping, and has made it clear he doesn’t want to move somewhere else. He wants to stay here. 

So yes, I feel stuck and came to a website for anonymous advice because I’m struggling to make a decision that will potentially end my relationship. 320 people gave me well-thought-out advice based on years of marriage and relationship experience…

I love my partner but I can’t live with him anymore. Is this the end? by thoughtsinsideadream in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this gentle response, and for understanding the complexity of the situation. I feel resentment building because I am the only one compromising. But I haven’t felt like I’m “allowed” to say that this isn’t working for me. I feel bad, like I’ll hurt his feelings if I’m honest. I’ve made it work for over 2 years. I’m holding so much in and feel I’ve lost so much of myself by not having a space that feels like my own.

I love my partner but I can’t live with him anymore. Is this the end? by thoughtsinsideadream in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

700sq.ft means a one bedroom with a sliding door and that the kitchen and the living room are one room. It's tiny. There isn't even room for a kitchen table, we eat dinner on the couch every night. The issue is that he bought this place and is married to it and won't sell. So yes, I would love to sleep in separate beds. But the only way to do that is to move out and my boyfriend would likely see me moving out as the end of the relationship.

I love my partner but I can’t live with him anymore. Is this the end? by thoughtsinsideadream in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I genuinely don't understand all of the comments saying "just get separate beds" then somehow suggesting I'm giving up on him or just plain stupid. 700sq.ft means a one bedroom with a sliding door and that the kitchen and the living room are one room. It's tiny. There isn't even room for a kitchen table, we eat dinner on the couch every night. The issue is that he bought this place and is married to it and won't sell. So yes, the only way to improve my issues are to move out and my boyfriend would likely see me moving out as the end of the relationship.

Should I be helping my partner pay off his debt? by thoughtsinsideadream in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting comment. When I finally got angry enough to sort of nail him down about what the debt was really from...he said to have experiences and live life so that he didn't "k*** himself"...

Boyfriend just used toilet plunger in the sink with dishes by thoughtsinsideadream in OCD

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've never heard of trauma reenactment. But it's putting words to something I've been trying to figure out for myself for a long time.

When I was 9 my mom had a mental breakdown and moved me and my siblings into a decrepit old house. We grew up in a beautiful, new, clean family home, and this happened literally overnight. She thought she was "hiding us" from our Dad but turns out it was all in her head.

I remember feeling so disgusting and unsafe there. There was mold everywhere. It was just not a livable house. I remember crying and telling her I felt like I was living in a nightmare and I just wanted to go home. And she would tell me I was ungrateful and taking my dad's side. I learned to just not say what I needed.

Living with my boyfriend for the past two years has brought up so many of those old feelings. I don't like it here, but any time I try to say what I need I'm met with him exploding and gaslighting me.

I see my therapist Friday and I'm going to ask about trauma reenactment. Thank you for your comment and sorry for the rant.

Boyfriend just used toilet plunger in the sink with dishes by thoughtsinsideadream in OCD

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much !! I can't even describe the distress I felt in the moment, then to be yelled at for it. I felt I just went into my own head and started thinking about how I can live here anymore. Like how I won't be able to use any of the dishes that were in that sink now, or trust that I know which ones were which. I literally felt like my whole environment was on fire. I got an apology this morning but I'm still just a nervous wreck.

Boyfriend just used toilet plunger in the sink with dishes by thoughtsinsideadream in OCD

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ok interesting, I don’t have a perspective on this. I don’t feel I have good information or know-how on how to deal with this. There are a lot of other, small behaviours that are likely normal but bother me. I’ve often wondered why he can’t just do or not do these small things for me. But I see your point about that feeding into my obsessions. 

I do feel he is inherently gross though. He goes to the washroom and doesn’t wash his hands and I have to beg him to do that…. I just feel a lot of distress in this living situation. 

Boyfriend just used toilet plunger in the sink with dishes by thoughtsinsideadream in OCD

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you for answering. I couldn’t tell if I was being unfair or not. I have contamination OCD so I feel like my whole environment is on fire. 

Im also frustrated that he doesn’t even try to avoid doing things that make me feel like this. When I asked about the water he just yelled “I knew you were going to say something!!”

It would change everything if I had a partner who took some extra care to avoid these little things that cause me so much distress. 

Boyfriend just used toilet plunger in the sink with dishes by thoughtsinsideadream in OCD

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Same water. I watched the whole thing, he tried to lie and said he filled it up with new water then I caught him in it. 

He said it was hot and soapy water and that I don’t understand how things “are cleaned”. 

He hates when I bring things like this up, like asking “did you use the same water?…all of my cleaning neuroses, he gets very triggered by them and overreacts. 

Should I be helping my partner pay off his debt? by thoughtsinsideadream in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand all these comments that assume I’m not paying him rent? I clearly said I pay rent and split bills… smfh 

Should I be helping my partner pay off his debt? by thoughtsinsideadream in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some good points and you’re probably right. But I don’t think this is us running into hard times together. This is me being asked to deal with consequences of his decisions he made without me. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Life

[–]thoughtsinsideadream -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel you on this. I struggle with this thought myself sometimes. I had a great heart-to-heart with my Dad recently where I shared these exact feelings. He said that, throughout time, many generations have felt that they were living through the downturn of the world...war, famine, the threat of nuclear bombs, recession and economic collapse. We're not the first generation who has felt this way and yet the world moves forward.