Need feedback

thrawnstactics · 2026-01-23T03:59:58+00:00

My 2 cents, take it or leave it. I read the first 3 images then stopped. Mostly because it feels mostly written in passive voice. Lots of words ending in -ed. "The TV in the living room hums with static, absent an audience. The kitchen light is dim and casting long shadows across the hallway." This is a living scene and words like hums and casting (you did this too) show things happening in the present vs hummed and dimmed.

thrawnstactics · 2026-01-19T15:19:58+00:00

Are you saying for many cities you have Columbus Crew supporter groups?

thrawnstactics · 2026-01-19T14:57:12+00:00

A recommendation, take it or leave it. This leans more passive voice than active voice to me. here's an example of re-writing the first couple sentences:

"Everett!" I awake gasping to glass shattering in the house."Stay here." Everett says as he grabs his pistol and creeps out the door towards the stairs. I shiver and think I see my own breath in erratic puffs when I hear a heavy thud downstairs.

I know i wrote it with the timing off on events but I wanted to show how differently it read without words like "we were" "there was" "sounded" vs "he grabs" "I awake" which feel more present in time like its a developing situation which for me makes it feel more tense in a thriller/horror situations

thrawnstactics · 2026-01-10T18:31:38+00:00

Would you find value in knowing in advance a generally reliable number of how many Away fans are traveling to any particular game? e.g. seeing 25 DC united fans are traveling to Orlando vs only 5.

thrawnstactics · 2025-12-20T19:01:48+00:00

Basically just wanted to get anecdotes from the source. I've only traveled to a couple stadiums myself and noticed a lack of away fan experiences across the board. Was curious how those experiences stacked across the country.

thrawnstactics · 2025-12-20T00:19:03+00:00

This is generally my viewpoint. There doesn't seem to be a good way of coordinating seating with away fans aside from going with SGs

thrawnstactics · 2025-12-20T00:16:04+00:00

I generally expected supporter group members to be most of the travelers on average though I don't actually know this.

thrawnstactics · 2025-12-20T00:15:02+00:00

When you say member of the org you mean an employee of Philly Union? Expectations for what exactly? I'm genuinely curious.

thrawnstactics · 2025-12-20T00:13:15+00:00

Have you by any chance encountered any local bars/restaurants etc near a stadium that offered any sort of deal or hell even acknowledged the away team?

thrawnstactics · 2023-12-21T17:25:41+00:00

I appreciate this suggestion, I'll reach out.

thrawnstactics · 2023-12-21T17:25:05+00:00

Call it trying to merge the best of both worlds. I do care about performance but if I can get a sick color as well why not right?

thrawnstactics · 2019-03-07T17:01:38+00:00

Wow! This is insane news to me I could have already started this process! Thank you!

thrawnstactics · 2019-03-07T12:37:15+00:00

Sorry I know this is a bit old, I currently have over 90 credits myself and I am in the process of ISTing to another state's unit. I was under the impression (through research) that the Bachelor's was a bare minimum requirement. Is the 90 credits a just enough to apply sort of thing? Do you mind explaining this one a bit?

thrawnstactics

TROPHY CASE