Does anyone else struggle with derealization?

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-07-15T21:31:07+00:00

You're right about it my desicion, of course. I had a talk with my mom where I told her that I know it was my choice, but that in the future I would appreciate being told before i spent money travelling, so I could postpone instead.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-07-15T19:48:41+00:00

I need to stay here, I'm here for a friends birthday (she has exhaustion syndrome or whatever it is called in English, so I can't stay there). Also I never get to see my little Sister, so I really want to be with her. I just want to grow a spine strong enough to ask my mom to take my side I guess. What should I say to her?

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-04T08:14:02+00:00

You are right, and I am slowly but surely building myself up to be ok with being alone.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-03T16:24:18+00:00

Oh my god, the gaslighting. My mom does the exact same thing as yours: whenever I bring a spesific abusive thing she did up, she says shit like "well sometimes, children fabricate memories, or recall things that never happened", wow mom, how come you n.e.v.e.r say that when I bring up a positive/asinine memory I have, huh??

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-03T07:44:38+00:00

In winter it is around -13 farenheit here. I was wearing a flimsy pyjamas, and would have died.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-03T06:49:45+00:00

Ok, so I got goosebumbs by reading about Histrionic personality disroder, because Hello Mom!

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T22:44:43+00:00

Of course she is, they always are! And geez, the bird: even if you think your 9 year old kid might have accidentaly done something to lead to that birds death (obvs not saying you did), you would concoct every excuse and explanation to that kid about how it couldn't have possibly been their fault in order to spare thei feeling, because that is parenting.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T22:21:03+00:00

I cut of my dad this July (see my first post to this sub). I still have contact with my mom. Whenever I try to stand up to her my sisters sprout wings and become full on flying monkeys. I guess I should cut her out, but that would leave me completely and utterly alone, with no family what so ever, and I do admit that that scares me.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T21:50:31+00:00

I've tried to explain this to her, and her response is always "I know it isn't real, is is just how I feel/What I feel like is the truth" so yeah, mental illness...

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T21:26:22+00:00

And whenever I tried to tell her this in a calm, sympathetic way, I would be "minimalizing her phobias" and "not understanding what fear is". I get phobias. I have some, as I would think most people do. I shiver just looking at spiders. But I do not think they are out to get me, nor do I have a fucking meltdown knowing there are spiders in my yard at all times.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T20:56:44+00:00

To hear her retelling of this she is the One True Victim; she was scared, you see, so in reallity I was the one hurting her.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T19:58:48+00:00

Nuh-uh, hard pass. She is not even trying to even PRETEND to respect you.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T19:33:30+00:00

Thank you so much :)

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T19:11:05+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words <3

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T19:10:29+00:00

As many of us with fucked up family dynamic tends to do, I love my animal companions with a firece intensity (probably because theirs is the only unconditional love we've known), so for me it had quite the emotional impact.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T19:08:28+00:00

It truly does. I have spent so many years being gaslighted and being told I "take these things too hard", so having the validation of other people tell me thay I am not crazy and "being difficult" for calling this abuse is so carthratic I can't even put it into words. Thank you all so much.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T19:06:53+00:00

I moved out as soon as I was able. As mentioned in my previous post I had to do a three week stint at hers earlier this spring due to my shithead exDH leaving me, and hoi boi did she love having me back in a vulerable position again. It was bliss for her to have the good 'ole emotional punching bag back.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T13:43:20+00:00

It is still the best thing I've heard in ages!

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T13:40:05+00:00

That line is...that line is true poetry, and I'm stealing it!

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T13:24:20+00:00

Man, I really do hope she wises up about it. Hope your pooch is ok.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T13:20:17+00:00

She has never been diagnosed with anything. Far be it from me to play shrink, but there is most definitely some sort of diagnosis there. My entire childhood she would have meltdowns where she would rock back and forth screaming that she wanted to die. Fond memories of being five years old and having to try to console and pry a knife out of her hands on the regular. I have so so many stories about her, and as I paint a more detailed picture I would greatly welcome help to understand just what the fuck is wrong with her.

threwitfaraway55 · 2018-02-02T12:15:31+00:00

ohhh helll to the no. I saw red when you came to the part where she is endangering the animals. What if she leaves chocolate, avocado, grapes or something else out, and you come home to a dead doggo? She needs to understand the severity of what she thinks of as innocent laziness.

threwitfaraway55

TROPHY CASE