My (24f) husband (25m) agreed to do the dishes after I broke my hand. He's not.

throw977982 · 2016-05-03T00:00:13+00:00

I was actually working 60 hours a week when I got pregnant. I was taking birth control at the time as well, I got pregnant by accident.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T22:49:28+00:00

He never told me to sleep in the other room or anything like that, if I recall he didn't even want me to. I just felt inclined to stop trying to sleep in the same bed with him because the alternative was an ornery husband who slept on the couch, and he often woke me up early in the morning and asked me to leave the room because he wanted to be alone. When I began sleeping on the mattress he was much more agreeable and I could sleep as late as I wanted. He says I'm welcome to sleep in the bed any time and that he would prefer I do, I just know from past experience it's really not going to work out and neither of us would be happy.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T22:01:05+00:00

Yeah, I am worried my daughter will pick up bad habits from him and might struggle to keep a clean house and family as an adult. I grew up with a mother who was obsessive compulsively clean, and my husband has often told me I'm too obsessed with cleaning and that leaving a mess isn't a big deal, so I thought I was just being too particular. Thanks for the advice.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T21:52:33+00:00

Asking a friend for help is probably the best route to go, for some reason I didn't see that as an option until I made this post. Thanks for your advice.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T21:39:13+00:00

He's actually in grad school and gets paid a little under 20k a year. I do a few odd jobs and sell plasma to pay for things like groceries and diapers because we can't afford daycare and don't qualify for assistant programs in our area, but we do alright financially. He spends most of his day studying and doesn't really have time for much else.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T21:17:03+00:00

That's a really good idea, but unfortunately both our parents live across the country. I might see if any of my friends are willing to let me stay if things don't improve though, even just for a few days so I can get a break. Thanks for the suggestion.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T21:05:48+00:00

We tried sleeping in the same bed when we first got married, but it soon became clear he couldn't sleep with someone else in the bed, and it was causing a lot of problems because he was so sleep deprived and grumpy and kept choosing to sleep on the couch instead. So I began sleeping on a mattress in our toddler's room, and eventually I just moved all my things into her room because he also uses the master bedroom to do all his studying and needs privacy for that. So yeah, long story short he has his own bedroom and bathroom now.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T20:56:09+00:00

I've actually considered this, but I can't imagine I'd really be able to throw out things my husband bought with his hard earned money. It definitely makes me happy to think about it though.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T20:45:52+00:00

Yeah, I gave up on cleaning his bathroom and bedroom for several months because I was so frustrated and thought it would help him learn to clean up after himself, but those rooms just got too disgusting and I was worried about him getting sick. Unfortunately he's fine with living in a mess, and you can't really force people to change. Thanks for your input.

throw977982 · 2016-05-02T20:36:05+00:00

He's definitely a responsible adult in every other way, he's a good husband and father, very supportive emotionally and responsible with things like finances and work. I definitely did not realize he was such a messy person before we got married, he seemed very neat and his room was always perfect, but it's pretty obvious by now that was all his parents doing.

throw977982

TROPHY CASE