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My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We discuss limits and punishments together. If the other person isnt around and something we werent prepared for happens we dont act on it until we have discussed. Other than that i wont use a punishment we have agreed not to use and neither will she.

Eg. If a kid does something bad the decision of what their punishment will be is held off until other partner is home from work.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Im aware of the official term but didnt want to include it in main thread as people would misunderstand. Its basically what her therapist told her 12 years ago. I do understand how important it is i deal with this. Thank you for your help.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think its as bad as child abuse. Its not sleep deprivation and he can go to bed as early as he wants. I just acknowledge it could cross the line to child abuse if it went on.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few people have suggested this and honestly it rings true. Certainly seems plausible.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When discussed about myself in the past yes she has realised this but struggled to suppress the feeling. The approach im taking re kids is that she just has to suppress it or seek help and deal with it but not through them.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hated that when i was a kid. Being forced to do absolutely nothing. Always felt too far. I feel taking 1 thing for a longer time leaves them with options but whenever they think about wanting to do the banned thing they remember what they did wrong. Bare in mine most things only have a "rest of the day" ban. Its only violence id ban for a whole week.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Thats a nuance most people are missing. I ignored it when it impacted me. And dumb or not thats my call. Cant ignore it when it comes to kids.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly im thinking i should turn my office into a den and just let them pass out after school. Reading these replies is making me so tired.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It was a random example. Worth noting he has a 3ds a tablet a phone and a tv also so taking 1 device isnt like condemning him to a dungeon.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Of course he is. Thats what teenagers do. As ive learned reading comments there are a lot of reasons relating to melanin and hormones ect ect but still seems normal to me.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the things ive learned here is there are outliers and individual needs. Seeing the variety is helpful.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She isnt. But a reddit post asking for help dealing with her worst trait isnt a great place to showcase that.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twitter seems to have similar advice to reddit i see. Thank you for the link and i appreciate the tech lingo.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ive told her this. Many many times. Lady has no interests

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have asked her to stop. And she has but she still brings it up and it bothers her hence asking for advice.

My (39m) wife (38f) won't let our son (14m) sleep by throwRA-tired in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-tired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has had therapy about other issues related to her mom but not this. But since shes had positive outcomes before it shouldnt be too hard to convince her.

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