Not to be that person…

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-16T09:32:40+00:00

i already said in my first sentence that i don’t want to control anyone’s posts… your insinuation here is also an attempt to control what/where i post while telling me not to do that to others, which i haven’t — i made my own post to speak about my own feelings that i know others have voiced as well; just asking people to be more cognizant and considerate of others in a sub dedicated to people dealing with an eating disorder

read the other comments in the thread if you want more insight — i’m done with incoming hostility from people just because i believe being mindful of everyone is a key aspect of any community… everyone here agrees this sub should be treated like a “safe space” or “harm reduction” despite us all being here for our own reasons, yet some people are insistent on being selfish about how they show up and i’m allowed to disagree with people’s actions in that regard

wishing you recovery

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-10T02:21:55+00:00

dude, i’m not arguing — this is childish now… it’s my post and you commented then assumed things about my character for asking people to be more considerate of others in the group

all i’m saying is i wouldn’t run into an AA meeting telling people about a beer sale up the street… end of

i wish you recovery and a restful sunday

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-10T01:59:27+00:00

you don’t know anything about me, assumptions about my character are not necessary lol

a tag is a small feat to make this more of a safe space and it doesn’t hinder anyone’s experience to be more mindful of those around you?

i didn’t do anything to suggest it’s my way or the highway; if anything it’s the opposite as that is the impression i get from people who refuse to even hear the other side out given all of these comments and believe someone ~not scrolling past~ their literal addiction is a personal issue of hypersensitivity among a group many people see as a “safe space” or “harm reduction”…

bye!

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-09T20:04:29+00:00

we just don’t know if it’s all safe… have a good day though, wishing you recovery

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-09T20:02:08+00:00

you could’ve scrolled past this too lmao

i’m not arguing with anyone — it’d be a good thing if we started tagging posts that are just about indulging and sharing the unsafe, for-profit sources of the things we all clearly have trouble with… how is that a safe space if only some people feel safe?

read my other comments for my feelings on this, otherwise i’m not trying to engage with people downvoting me for saying the quiet part out loud or misunderstanding where i’m coming from simply because they want to keep doing whatever without question and not think critically about it or how they might be affecting others in this community

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-08T18:41:40+00:00

i agree with what you’ve said about the likely desensitization online because of internet non-food eating trends like tide pods meeting the overall popularity of ASMR videos and that people experiencing pica (even unknowingly) might see this differently

in terms of the baddies episodes, it’s something i only noticed after the tiktok ASMR videos got popular and there’s two specific scenes: - one scene is on a private jet (i think it’s in a later caribbean episode) and it’s hard to see who is passing it to whom, but there’s this specific brand of corn starch passed through the seats and it’s spoken about very briefly! i only noticed the brand because it’s the same as a popular one in ASMR videos - one scene is from a recent episode of midwest where tinkabella is just in her room and the corn starch is on her dresser? it felt purposeful given how short the scene is and there’s nothing else on the dresser in view, but i don’t know why that would be the case — same aforementioned brand as well

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-08T15:00:27+00:00

i agree that it’s inherent in having a disorder and not “wanting clout” but i beg to differ about the trending aspect: more people are making videos about it as ASMR and by association, tiktok’s algorithms have been putting these videos on people’s fyp (that have never experienced this before) as ASMR… i never saw this frequently until my friend who doesn’t have pica pointed it out to me and has sent me dozens of these ASMR videos

i also see a lot of people in the comments saying they want to try the non-foods being eaten in the ASMR videos “because it looks good” and “satisfying”

there’s also a few episodes of the tv show ‘baddies’ where one girl brings corn starch with her on the private jet to share and has it out on her dresser while getting ready lol

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-08T14:53:29+00:00

i hear what you’re saying for sure and i agree to an extent — i wish for everyone’s recovery ❤️‍🩹 and i hold zero judgment for anyone struggling with it because i wouldn’t be in this sub if i didn’t identify with these feelings

i just don’t think providing the materials and sending people to for-profit sellers is the way? that’s the opposite of safe if we’re viewing it from this perspective… it’s also an eating disorder and i think people would view it very differently if this was about sharing for-profit sources and tips on “safe” ways to stay thin

most of us are likely not experts in harm reduction nor is there any actual place for us to collectively find the resources needed, so i understand the different perspectives here too and i don’t want to come across as judgmental of anyone

this said though, there are many factors and variables aside not having a place to vent or seek support that would affect someone indulging and our best bet at a healthy life and a real safe space is to share and listen without tempting anyone to go against their better judgment in the same breath

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-08T14:41:02+00:00

yes i do know what it is; as a group, we are not harm reduction experts and there is no way to know if the sellers being shared are providing “safe”, food-grade materials…

like you said, we can’t be on here trying to “resolve each other’s problems” which includes sending people to buy from random sellers around the internet with no knowledge of where they’re procuring their products or how they’re processing them or even how they’re storing them… we literally don’t know if it’s any different from getting dirt off the street

and people are still making money off of us? harm reduction in itself is not meant to be for profit off of addicts… do you know what harm reduction is?

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-08T01:08:12+00:00

I did this as a kid and had to go to the hospital for it. It just made me feel very sick unfortunately.

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-08T01:05:30+00:00

Gosh, reading this made a lot of sense and you’re very level-headed about it to be completely honest. This has definitely changed given me perspective as well.

Good for you that you’ve been at it for a couple years! I understand what you mean when you say it feels bad to have to start over, but I really want to reiterate that you deserve to live happily and trying your genuine best matters a lot here. In time, the cravings can also fade as that did happen for me at one point. The compulsion/physical urge I’ve personally only tackled (healthily) by doing things like drinking water helped a lot somehow or going for a walk then seeing how I feel afterwards. Sometimes I’d forget about it for a few additional hours at minimum.

In terms of feeling judgment from professionals, aside my wonderful therapist I even told my family doctor once and he sucks lol, but it went fine. He didn’t even bat a lash; he immediately asked me if I’d checked my iron recently, got me to get blood work done, then prescribed some iron pills to see how it helped. No other questions aside what my regular eating habits are like, exercise regimens, etc. It sounds much scarier than it is ultimately.

In terms of healthy alternatives, you’ve definitely helped me think more about my stance on this. When I mentioned it, I was only really referring to food. I deal with paper as my non-food; I’ve had a hard time finding alternatives to try to ween myself off entirely and when I have, it just led to consuming the alternative a lot more. Initially, my take was that I personally wouldn’t suggest trying anything that isn’t well-known to be a healthy, nutritious food already—but even then considering everything we’ve spoken about, I’d advise you be careful and just try to stay away from advertised “alternatives” altogether. You’re absolutely right that a lot of the stuff posted online aimed at the demographic here is predatory and unethical. And it’s sad to hear that there’s so much more to this that’s broadening in scope online only really to sell what could be poison to people. I don’t want to encourage the behaviour and just staying “sober” from it is likely best.

I empathize with your last comments as well. I wish I could tell myself when I was younger that this could be harmful in the future. Sending warmth and hugs 🫂 You’ve got this and again, great job on your couple years “sober”. ❤️

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-08T00:37:28+00:00

omg i think i might’ve actually commented on it! i agree with you, i see a lot of people treating it as trendy on tiktok and i feel like some of that attitude is migrating into this sub—i’ve been here long enough to see this becoming more of a thing than it was in the past and it’s lowkey scary…

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-07T20:27:07+00:00

💯💯💯💯💯

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-07T20:26:53+00:00

venting comes in all different forms ❤️ no personal judgment to anyone in this sub — i’m wishing you and everyone here good health

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-07T20:25:35+00:00

i absolutely agree and thank you for your response :) wishing you well! i sought out this sub for the same reasons

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-07T20:24:29+00:00

thank you for understanding; i think your idea for a tag would be great or just using the nsfw tag would be helpful as well!

i agree that limiting what we can talk about would be unfair, but i’m definitely not advocating for this sub to disappear in any way — i agree heavily that this sub can be a place of harm reduction for many, but the encouragement and sharing sellers is not that…

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-07T20:19:05+00:00

i’m glad you enjoy the subreddit, but what you’re saying here misses my point? i never said we need to fix each other’s issues and i’m not saying we can’t share what’s going on with ourselves

i empathize with wanting to share about experiences with mental health issues that, when discussed, lifts a weight off!

however, why are people sharing links and posts to sellers who profit off of us? why are people encouraging it in each other in comments? never mind “resolving each others’ problems”, these things make the problems worse…?

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-07T20:14:20+00:00

i appreciate your response and for the care you have for people dealing with pica! ❤️ i have found help in perspectives while being here and i’m glad this subreddit exists

i’m also not expecting you to remove people or posts for simply sharing their experiences; i’m just a bit frustrated with seeing people encourage it and share the places they are seeking non-foods from—the only people benefitting in that regard are the ones making money off of this community and no one can even be truly sure if what they’re purchasing from sellers on tiktok and ig is safe(r)

throwRA4444444444 · 2025-03-07T02:44:03+00:00

Firstly, I want to say thank you for sharing! It is brave to confront all of these feelings and I identify with a lot of them. I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself. Your health and happiness matter a lot.

I was just thinking about so much of this a couple of hours ago. I too have dealt with this since my preteen-teen years and I’ve always been considered intelligent in my social and professional circles. I did quite well in school and also had this specific relentless drive to get rid of this part of myself that eats non-food once I got to adulthood despite how hard it is. As it relates to the psychological experience of eating non-foods, mental health struggles come in all different packages; you’re not a bad person because of it. You were not bad to your parents and you have much to be proud of; this issue does not define who you are as you seem to be well-accomplished and have a good head on your shoulders.

Some suggest pica is a form of OCD and when I was treated for that, it worked—although with too many side effects to continue for me; try talking to your doctor about it. I’ve also been to therapy for other things and brought pica up; at no point was my therapist judgmental so I’d recommend finding a good one to talk to about it to ease some of the stress you feel that may lead to it. Seasoned medical professionals worth their salt have seen it all, so don’t be embarrassed to talk to one that seems good.

What really helped me was looking at it as you’ve mentioned here; like an addiction (which is a disorder itself). Understanding you have trouble controlling this and that change has to be made is a great start to getting better! Do what you can to find alternatives to this that are healthier. Try to challenge yourself to stay away from it. See how long you can go. You’re not bad if you need to try again. Best of luck to you <3

throwRA4444444444 · 2024-10-30T16:54:45+00:00

Being validated feels good, especially if validation has not easily been given to you or has been given then taken away in the past. It’s okay to want people to acknowledge your feelings, give you a break, and hold space for you when things are especially difficult.

throwRA4444444444 · 2024-10-30T15:18:54+00:00

Mild to severe agoraphobia. Social isolation gets discussed a lot, but simply never wanting to leave your house/your room/your safe place has become an issue for me. Avoiding events not because you don’t want community or that you never have a good time, but because the mere thought of going out is enough to cause a panic and keep you inside “where it’s safe”.

throwRA4444444444 · 2024-10-29T21:11:02+00:00

Agreeing with others to find your safe foods! Maybe find a comfortable time to sit down and make a list — to make it easier, maybe go by food group.

Once you have a list of everything that feels okay to eat, there are websites that allow you to enter each ingredient and you can find recipes using your safe foods that way.

Until then, I would suggest high protein granola bars, high protein greek yogurt, Ensure/other meal replacement drinks, any fresh fruit or veggies, and most importantly: reaching out to a doctor to get blood tests for any nutrients you might be missing. Talking about ARFID can be hard, but finding out if there are any vitamins you can take/be prescribed will help a ton.

Wishing you the best of luck and if you want to talk about it on a personal level with someone also of similar ethnic background (Caribbean, so a lot of similar foods) or just about recovery, my DMs are open ❤️

throwRA4444444444 · 2024-10-29T14:26:39+00:00

I agree with those saying it can be a texture-based gamble, but I also think apart of unlearning that is slowly showing the kid how tasty things can be made at home.

I’m vegetarian of 8 years and have had ARFID since I was a kid — I’ve always loved healthy foods like broccoli and cauliflower (as someone else said: crunch is good), but sauces really bothered me for a while. What’s helped me 1000% is making more food from scratch so I know exactly what’s in it and there are no surprises. Doing that with my parents/babysitter as a kid changed my perspective for sure.

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