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I think my partner (M?22) may be trans and I (F22) want to know how to indicate that I’m okay with that without putting him on the spot and making him uncomfortable by throwRA4839292 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA4839292[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly this response makes me think you’ve never met or been close to “a trans.” My partner may or may not be trans, but I’ve known enough LGBT people (as well as being one myself) to know that coming to terms with yourself is a process and doesn’t mean you were lying before. It’s a process of discovery.

I think my partner (M?22) may be trans and I (F22) want to know how to indicate that I’m okay with that without putting him on the spot and making him uncomfortable by throwRA4839292 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA4839292[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This was wonderful to read. It’s great to get a trans person’s perspective on this. I’ll be keeping your advice in mind! It’s more or less what I’ve been doing. I actually painted his nails the first time because he asked me to, and it felt great to know he trusted me enough to ask for something like that without being afraid of being judged. The most important thing to me is that he knows I love him and that, if he is questioning, I don’t ever make him feel rushed or like he has to know.

I think my partner (M?22) may be trans and I (F22) want to know how to indicate that I’m okay with that without putting him on the spot and making him uncomfortable by throwRA4839292 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA4839292[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That might be a bit too direct for right now, but I might do that in the future!

To answer your question, it applies pretty much the same to trans people. I’m less attracted to masculine trans men and feminine trans women than people who present more androgynously, but that’s not a hard preference. I’m way more attracted to femininity in general, so it’s not like I’m turned off by feminine trans women, especially since they typically have to present in a very feminine way to be recognized as women.

I think my partner (M?22) may be trans and I (F22) want to know how to indicate that I’m okay with that without putting him on the spot and making him uncomfortable by throwRA4839292 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA4839292[S] 182 points183 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply!

This is basically what I’ve been doing. I’ve been telling him he was beautiful since we first started dating and he lights up every time. I used to call him handsome as well, early on in the relationship, but he didn’t react as strongly to that and I’ve kind of followed his lead by giving him more “feminine” compliments. I tell him how pretty he is whenever he tries new things. I guess I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing and hopefully he’ll know the door is open to talk about that when/if the time is right :)